Pack the Bags Hunny, We are Heading to Wisconsin This Morning

Win five times your wife's weight in beer.

The second annual wife-carrying championships are Saturday.

Runners-up win her weight in cranberries, bratwurst, mustard or cow manure.

All you have to do is carry your wife through a 300-yard obstacle course that includes grass, sand, waste-deep water, hurdles and hills.



With all that running I've been doing and your recent weight-loss, I think we have a good chance to win this thing. I know you don't drink beer sweetie, but we could sell it and you could go on that Victoria Secrets shopping spree you have been always dreaming of. I know, I know it sounds to good to be true. But soon that Daisy Duke outfit you have been wanting could be yours.

After we win the race I want you to shove as many rocks in your pockets as possible. The more you weigh at the end - the more beer we get.

Man I hope we get first place and the beer. Al tough the cranberries and bratwurst sound great too. I'm not so sure about the mustard - 100 pounds is quite a bit. I guess we could eat mustard sandwiches for the next few years. And as far as the manure goes, with the 11 kids, that's about our daily production anyway.