An Obituary printed in the London Times

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain
Why the early bird gets the worm
Life isn't always Fair
and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason…

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

RIP Gibson

GRASS VALLEY, Calif. (AP) - Gibson, the California dog dubbed the tallest in the world by the Guinness Book of World Records, has died after a battle with bone cancer.

The 7-year-old harlequin Great Dane from Grass Valley measured 7 feet, 1 inch when standing on its hinds legs.

He was diagnosed with the disease in April and had his front right leg amputated to prevent its spread. He also underwent chemotherapy as a precaution.

Gibson's owner, Sandy Hall, learned last week the cancer had spread to his lungs and spine and that no treatment that could save him. Hall decided to euthanize Gibson on Friday.

Gibson appeared on "The Tonight Show," "The Oprah Show" and "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," and on Japanese television in 2006 after being named the world's tallest dog.

RIP John Hughes

Titan of teen angst, director John Hughes, dies at 59 on Manhattan Street

He was the director and writer of some of my favorite movies during my college years:
Sixteen Candles
The Breakfast Club
Weird Science
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Planes, Trains and Automobiles

He also wrote Vacation, Christmas Vacation, Pretty in Pink, Mr. Mom, and Home Alone 1 & 2 among others

A Tale of Two Funerals

Farrah Fawcett - Private funeral with 200 family and friends at the Cathedral of Our Lady of Angels.

Micheal Jackson - Total media circus and freak show at the 20,000 seat Staples Center - complete with MJ in a golden casket covered in red roses like he was some kind of Greek god. 3,000 of LA's finest will be guarding the Staples Center. Plus the very in debt city of LA gets to pick up the $2-$4 million security tab for the event...nice.

8,750 'fans' (out of 1.6 million) won tickets in some kind of online lottery.

The event was a who's who of celebrities. Which was to be expected but it just seemed so over the top. Was it really necessary to have Don King and Al Sharpton there? Alas I guess if that was the kind of celebration that his family wanted...

Notably absent was Elizabeth Taylor, long time friend of MJ's, who posted this message on Twitter and said she declined an invitation to speak because she "cannot be part of the public whoopla."

So much for resting in peace.

All I can say is thank God its finally over and he's in the ground. I like listening to his music but the 24/7 in your face reality-show like coverage as been a bit much. He was hardly Mother Theresa or the Pope.

Billy Mays - RIP

Billy Mays hawker of OxiClean, Mighty Putty, the Awesome Auger, Simoniz Fix It, the Quick Chop and lots of other Chinese gadgets and gizmos that Americans can't seem to do without...Died today at the age of 50.
He's probably in front of the pearly gates right now trying to sell St. Peter a whole lot of OxiClean for the angels robes.
RIP Billy!

Michael Jackson - RIP

While, like Farrah, I didn't have a poster of MJ on my wall growing up, I did enjoy his music. Especially his music with the Jackson 5 and his early solo music.



Despite his well publicized scandals and peculiarities, I’m saddened by his death. He was an incredibly talented singer and dancer. In the 80’s he was as big as Elvis had been at his climax. He was part of the background of my life up during my teen years. And unlike a whole lot of music videos, his actually had something to do with the song lyrics.

And as Mike Drabik so correctly reminded me on my Farrah post

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon them.
May the souls of the faithful departed,
through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

Farrah Fawcett Dead at 62

RIP - Farrah Fawcett

She was my first crush (sorry hunny - hey it could be worse. I could be a SC Governor who likes to disappear to Argentine). I had the bathing suit poster of her up on my bedroom wall as a young lad and Charlie's Angels was must watch TV.

Remember it's all about the hair.

RIP Ed McMahon

Alas even though he never saw fit to show up at my door and give me a $5 million dollar check from Publishers Clearing House, you will still be missed. You were a great wing-man for Carson.

Byts and Peaces

From the AP - "Despite new estimates that say President Barack Obama's budget would generate unsustainable large deficits averaging almost $1 trillion a year (for the next 10 years), the White House insisted Friday that the flood of red ink won't swamp its costly agenda."

Which part of the above is more disturbing? The $1 trillion a year deficits or that Obamanation thinks it won't affect his agenda.

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Smarties banned in schools from the WSJ (paraphrased) - "kids are now "smoking" Smarties candy--pulverizing them into powder and then inhaling and exhaling them as "smoke"--and they are already being described as a "gateway drug": "Jody Puryear, whose son Grant attends [Hewitt-Trussville Middle School in Trussville, Alabama], says smoking Smarties could be a gateway leading "to smoking cigarettes or pot or anything else like that." In fact, the principal of the school has already banned this dangerous substance: "I have made it clear to our students that possession of Smarties (or similar candy) will result in a Class II offense [which usually results in detention]," she wrote to parents."

Smarties compared to Weed?! Are you serious people? Remember the good old days when you could buy candy cigarettes from the Ice Cream Man? The time is way past due to dismantle the public school system.

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Is Princess Bride one of the greatest movies or what?

"Anybody want a peanut?"

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."



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From CNN - Palin slams The Chosen One for his remarks about the Special Olympics

"This was a degrading remark about our world's most precious and unique people, coming from the most powerful position in the world,"
Palin said

At the risk of offending all you people who drank the Palin Kool Aid, this just sounds like part sour-grapes part publicity-hound. Listen I loath The Loser in Chief. But he made a small mistake and he apologized...Get Over It People. And yes I realize that Palin's son Trig has down's.

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Obama the Financial Advisor from The Tonight Show - "Look, first of all, everybody should have complete confidence in the banks. [Their] deposits are protected. They shouldn't be putting it in their mattresses."
This one is easy.......since it's always best to do the opposite of what government officials tell you.......I've got one lumpy mattress

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From the Washington Post - Auto Parts supplies to get $5 billion in stolen bailout money.

It's just a matter of time until auto dealers, carwash businesses, pizza delivery dudes, Jiffy Lubes, those taxi cab drives with the beaded seat covers and hula-girls on the dashboard and anyone else even slightly related to the car companies tries to gain some of the ill-gotten auto-industry bailout booty

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Police: Naked boy, 14, on walk with dog, pushes woman, breaks phone

A 14-year-old Saginaw boy has been charged with strong-arm robbery and assault in juvenile court after he pushed a woman and broke her cell phone while taking a walk naked with a large white poodle in Hart Township Monday, police say.

Lt. Craig Mast of the Oceana County Sheriff’s Office said a 14-year-old youth walked away from a youth behavioral treatment facility Monday morning, stripped down, and was with a “giant” white poodle when he approached a woman working in her yard

Ok I can understand how a disturbed kid can escape from a treatment faciity, and the naked part makes sense since he's probably a little nuts.....but where did he get a Giant White Poodle from? Giant White Poodles R' Us?

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RIP Natasha Richardson

Bring Out Your Dead

Inventor of T-Ball Dies

From the AP

By JAMES PRICHARD – 3/9/09

ALBION, Mich. (AP) — Jerry Sacharski crafted his first batting tee from metal piping, some pieces of rubber and part of a garden hose. Half a century later he still was coaching T-ball, a game that introduced baseball to millions of kids from backyards to the White House lawn.

Many in this college town of 9,100 give Sacharski the nod for being the architect of T-ball, though that kind of recognition made the longtime teacher uncomfortable. He figured that somebody, somewhere, had previously put a baseball on a tee

RIP Mr. Roarke

Ricardo Montalban, aka Mr. Roarke, dies at 88

What kid watching TV in the late 70's - early 80's didn't want to go to Fantasy Island?

He also played in many other shows, musicals and movies. Including Khan in Star Trek-The Wrath of Khan. But he will always be best remembered as the disher-outer of fantasies in Fantasy Island.

88 years is a pretty good run so don't be sad. As Mr. Roarke would say "Smiles, everyone... smiles!"

RIP Gus

We hardly knew you.

World’s ugliest dog dies after battle with cancer

GULFPORT, Fla. - A one-eyed, three-legged dog that won the title of world’s ugliest pooch this summer has died.

The St. Petersburg Times in Florida reports that Gus, a Chinese crested dog, had cancer. He was 9.

Gus was rescued from a bad home and went on to win the annual World’s Ugliest Dog contest at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in northern California.

RIP Bozo

LOS ANGELES - Larry Harmon, who turned the character Bozo the Clown into a show business staple that delighted children for more than a half-century, died Thursday of congestive heart failure. He was 83.

Bozo was a staple of my childhood (no not my father - kidding). I watched him on TV a lot in my younger years.

Although I must admit that clowns kinda creep me out a bit. I mean just exactly who is lurking behind that disguise?

But not nearly as much as Mimes. They are down right freaky. With all that Black and white makeup they could at least have the common decency to be Goth.

Pretending you are inside an invisible box is not fresh or entertaining.

Say something Freak!!!

Who Do You Love?

Bo Diddley dead at 79. Rest in Peace Bro.

Actor Harvey Korman Dead at 81

LOS ANGELES, California -- Comic actor Harvey Korman has died at 81, according to the UCLA Medical Center.

Although he is probably best know for being a regular on "The Carol Burnett Show"(a great show from my childhood). I remember him best for his role as Hedley Lamarr in the Mel Brooks movie "Blazing Saddles"

Here are few of his lines from the movie that I can print:

"Go do that voodoo that you do so well!"

"My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives"

"You will be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost-certain Academy Award nomination for the Best Supporting Actor."

"My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention."

"Where's my froggy?"

"Alright, I'm through being Mr. Goodbar, the time has come to act and act quickly"