Tuesday, September 30, 2008
I Wish I Was an Oscar Meyer Weiner
Well maybe not so much now. At least not in Philly. They don't like them there. They blow-up weiners there. Probably the cheesesteaks did it, outta jealousy.
PHILADELPHIA (AP) - After a bomb scare at the Philadelphia Phillies' ballpark, authorities pointed the finger at a fuzzy green suspect - The Phillie Phanatic.
Hours before the Phillies-Atlanta Braves' game on Wednesday night, a film crew shot a commercial of the mascot shooting heavily wrapped hot dogs from a launcher.
But someone inadvertently left three of the duct taped hot dogs outside the ballpark, sparking security fears. Stadium employees were evacuated and the bomb squad was called in.
Only after the packages were blown up did authorities realize they'd just exploded some sausages.
Have we become such a nation of weenies (pun intended) that a few duct taped hot dogs brings out the bomb squad? Do we see terrorists behind every tree, bun and frankfurter now? How many times are we going to cry wolf before people finally chill?
And I know what people are going to say, 'better safe than sorry'. You know who says that? Pansies! That's who!
How long is this going to go on? Until we are totally paranoid police state? Well we are getting there. It would be funny to see us become like our former enemy, the Soviet Union. Not funny ha-ha, funny uh-oh.
We are all ready treated like prisoners in our own airports by the brainless thugs who work for the TSA. Stand in line here, papers please, now go here, now take off your shoes and belts, what's this nail clippers? Now go over there, get striped-searched and get felt-up, complain and get tasered or worse. When did we become a nation of eunuchs? Are we related to the same people that founded this country? Fought the British (twice)? Pushed the Indians out of the way (to put it mildly)? Tamed the wilderness?
Just you watch today it's blowing-up our weiners - tomorrow they will be closing down the newspapers, eliminating free-speech, imprisoning people without cause, pulling the tags of their mattresses, going through the express line with more than 10 items, stealing our milk money. Oh wait they are already doing that with their bailout plan. What's that? It failed? There is a God. Don't worry you bailout junkies, the Feds will be back with one hand held out and the other holding a gun.
Anyway people, leave the defenseless hot dogs alone. What did they ever do to you? I mean other than all the health problems they cause.
PHILADELPHIA (AP) - After a bomb scare at the Philadelphia Phillies' ballpark, authorities pointed the finger at a fuzzy green suspect - The Phillie Phanatic.
Hours before the Phillies-Atlanta Braves' game on Wednesday night, a film crew shot a commercial of the mascot shooting heavily wrapped hot dogs from a launcher.
But someone inadvertently left three of the duct taped hot dogs outside the ballpark, sparking security fears. Stadium employees were evacuated and the bomb squad was called in.
Only after the packages were blown up did authorities realize they'd just exploded some sausages.
Have we become such a nation of weenies (pun intended) that a few duct taped hot dogs brings out the bomb squad? Do we see terrorists behind every tree, bun and frankfurter now? How many times are we going to cry wolf before people finally chill?
And I know what people are going to say, 'better safe than sorry'. You know who says that? Pansies! That's who!
How long is this going to go on? Until we are totally paranoid police state? Well we are getting there. It would be funny to see us become like our former enemy, the Soviet Union. Not funny ha-ha, funny uh-oh.
We are all ready treated like prisoners in our own airports by the brainless thugs who work for the TSA. Stand in line here, papers please, now go here, now take off your shoes and belts, what's this nail clippers? Now go over there, get striped-searched and get felt-up, complain and get tasered or worse. When did we become a nation of eunuchs? Are we related to the same people that founded this country? Fought the British (twice)? Pushed the Indians out of the way (to put it mildly)? Tamed the wilderness?
Just you watch today it's blowing-up our weiners - tomorrow they will be closing down the newspapers, eliminating free-speech, imprisoning people without cause, pulling the tags of their mattresses, going through the express line with more than 10 items, stealing our milk money. Oh wait they are already doing that with their bailout plan. What's that? It failed? There is a God. Don't worry you bailout junkies, the Feds will be back with one hand held out and the other holding a gun.
Anyway people, leave the defenseless hot dogs alone. What did they ever do to you? I mean other than all the health problems they cause.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Mary's B-Day
Our sweet Mary is 5 today. She is probably our child with the sweetest disposition. She is the sunshine to my grayness. Sure she could end up being an axe murderer, but for now we are just enjoying her sunny outlook.
Happy Birthday Sweetie! We Love You!!!
Happy Birthday Sweetie! We Love You!!!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Move Over Chubby Hubby
it's time for our newest flavors from Ben and Jerry's, Lactating Lady, Boobie Bonanza and Milky Momma.
PETA asks Ben & Jerry's to use breast milk
MONTPELIER, Vt. (AP) — Ice cream made from breast milk? That's what the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants Ben & Jerry's Homemade Ice Cream to consider making.
The Virginia-based nonprofit group sent a letter to company co-founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield on Tuesday asking them to use human breast milk instead of cow's milk in their products.
PETA said the health of consumers and cows would benefit from the switch.
Ben & Jerry's spokesman Rob Michalak said the company applauds PETA's creative approach to bring attention to an issue, but believes that a mother's milk is best used by a child.
Now I would normally ignore anything coming from PETA but this was just too good to pass up. I realize that PETA knows it's not realistic for Ben and Jerry's to switch from cow's milk to human breast milk and that they are just tyring to make a point. Even they have to realize that it would take a few million Pamela Anderson's to replace all the cow's milk that they use in ice cream.
PETA asks Ben & Jerry's to use breast milk
MONTPELIER, Vt. (AP) — Ice cream made from breast milk? That's what the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants Ben & Jerry's Homemade Ice Cream to consider making.
The Virginia-based nonprofit group sent a letter to company co-founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield on Tuesday asking them to use human breast milk instead of cow's milk in their products.
PETA said the health of consumers and cows would benefit from the switch.
Ben & Jerry's spokesman Rob Michalak said the company applauds PETA's creative approach to bring attention to an issue, but believes that a mother's milk is best used by a child.
Now I would normally ignore anything coming from PETA but this was just too good to pass up. I realize that PETA knows it's not realistic for Ben and Jerry's to switch from cow's milk to human breast milk and that they are just tyring to make a point. Even they have to realize that it would take a few million Pamela Anderson's to replace all the cow's milk that they use in ice cream.
Starbucks Offers Free Coffee for Homeschool Parents
Since I like to rag on Starbucks I thought in fairness I should let people know when they do something nice.
This is from an HSLDA e-mail that someone forwarded me.
This coming Monday, September 29, homeschool parents will be able to pick up a complimentary tall size (12 fl. oz.) cup of Pike Place Roast from Starbucks.
This promotion is part of Starbucks “Great Start for Great Teachers” promotion, and is now open to all teachers.
HSLDA intervened when we were alerted that homeschool parents were not included in the promotion.
We are pleased that Starbucks is recognizing the contribution of homeschool parents by extending their program to us.
In order to pick up your free cup of Pike Place Roast you will need to present evidence that you are a homeschooler.
Any one item on the following list should be accepted by Starbucks:
Home School Legal Defense Association membership card.
Membership card from a state homeschooling organization.
Notification from a school district or state government recognizing compliance with compulsory attendance.
Paperwork submitted showing intent to establish a homeschool program.
Paperwork showing the establishment of a private school.
If you don’t have one of the items on this list be creative and try to provide other proof of homeschooling.
Please note: the final decision about whether to accept proof of homeschooling resides with Starbucks
Friday, September 26, 2008
More on the Proposed Bailout of the Moochers and Looters
The best line of the bailout debate goes to Congressman Ron Kind who said that phone calls to his office were "running 50-50. 50% 'No' and 50% 'Hell No'.
Today's Workouts
14 miles on my lunch 'hour'. For a 2-day total of 42 miles. Legs are sore but the rest of me is good.
Stuff Catholics Like
The Rosary is Old School
Real Catholics say The Divine Mercy (DM) also. Most Catholics learned the rosary at one time or another. Either as a child from their parents or CCD teachers or as adults in a RCIA or catechism class. But a lot of Catholics haven’t even heard of the Divine Mercy, let alone know how to say it. It is definitely for the hard-core Catholic. To relate it to music, everyone has heard of The Beatles and The Rolling Stones but only the cool kids have heard of Vampire Weekend. The Divine Mercy is the Vampire Weekend of the Catholic prayer world.
Don’t believe me? Take a poll. First go to a Mall and ask teens and young adults if they have heard of Vampire Weekend. The kids with the torn jeans and retro Iggy and the Stooges t-shirts will say yes. And then go ask the kids with the high-waters wearing Garanimals who look like they eat their boogers when no one is looking, they will answer no.
The Divine Mercy is along the same lines. All the hip (young or old) Catholics are saying the DM. Since the DM is also said on rosary beads it’s hard to tell what prayers some one is saying. And it would be kinda tacky to take a poll of people sitting in church praying – not that that would stop me. but one way to tell is this; if the person is wearing a t-shirt like the ones below, then they are probably praying the DM and not the rosary, or they may be saying both with a set of beads in each hand (the showoffs).
The prayers of the Divine Mercy are shorter than the rosary. So if you saw the person's hands flying over the beads than they are probably saying the DM not the rosary. Although I do know some people who can knock out a rosary in 10 minutes or less (he types while blushing).
You get bonus points (or indulgences) for saying the Divine Mercy at 3 in the afternoon (the hour that Christ died).
This is not to say that the Rosary is passé or lame. I mean it's not the Vanilla Ice or Milli Vanilli of the prayer world. No it’s still the Mother of All Catholic Prayers.
For those of you not familiar with the Divine Mercy see here for more information
Real Catholics say The Divine Mercy (DM) also. Most Catholics learned the rosary at one time or another. Either as a child from their parents or CCD teachers or as adults in a RCIA or catechism class. But a lot of Catholics haven’t even heard of the Divine Mercy, let alone know how to say it. It is definitely for the hard-core Catholic. To relate it to music, everyone has heard of The Beatles and The Rolling Stones but only the cool kids have heard of Vampire Weekend. The Divine Mercy is the Vampire Weekend of the Catholic prayer world.
Don’t believe me? Take a poll. First go to a Mall and ask teens and young adults if they have heard of Vampire Weekend. The kids with the torn jeans and retro Iggy and the Stooges t-shirts will say yes. And then go ask the kids with the high-waters wearing Garanimals who look like they eat their boogers when no one is looking, they will answer no.
The Divine Mercy is along the same lines. All the hip (young or old) Catholics are saying the DM. Since the DM is also said on rosary beads it’s hard to tell what prayers some one is saying. And it would be kinda tacky to take a poll of people sitting in church praying – not that that would stop me. but one way to tell is this; if the person is wearing a t-shirt like the ones below, then they are probably praying the DM and not the rosary, or they may be saying both with a set of beads in each hand (the showoffs).
The prayers of the Divine Mercy are shorter than the rosary. So if you saw the person's hands flying over the beads than they are probably saying the DM not the rosary. Although I do know some people who can knock out a rosary in 10 minutes or less (he types while blushing).
You get bonus points (or indulgences) for saying the Divine Mercy at 3 in the afternoon (the hour that Christ died).
This is not to say that the Rosary is passé or lame. I mean it's not the Vanilla Ice or Milli Vanilli of the prayer world. No it’s still the Mother of All Catholic Prayers.
For those of you not familiar with the Divine Mercy see here for more information
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Today's Workouts
28 miles running this morning. Felt pretty good for the first 25 miles or so. Last 3 were a bit of a struggle. Sore cheeks, hamstrings and calves by the end.
Brother Can You Spare a Dime?
Make that around $100 with inflation
Timing is everything. A few weeks ago the Feds decide Lehman Brothers could go ahead and fail. Then Merrill Lynch gets bought out by Bank of America. Then AGI almost goes under a few days later and the Feds save it. And then they decide a few days later to spend trillions of dollars (you don’t really think it’s ‘only’ going to cost the taxpayers $700 billion, do you?) to ‘save’ every financial company.
The 24,000 that lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers have to be thinking “what about us?”. If the company had only hung on for one more week they would have been covered by Uncle Sugar’s proposed bailout plan (still not passed at this writing - so there is hope that we won’t get screwed over and have our tax dollars wasted again).
Who did Lehman tick off in DC? Did they not payoff, I mean make campaign contributions, to the right senators and congressmen? Did their lobbyists wine, dine and bribe the wrong folks inside the beltway? Did they go to the salad bar illegally? Wear stripes with plaids? Try and cross breed dogs and cats?
Whatever went wrong you got to feel bad for the regular employee’s who worked there and their families. This is not the time to be an unemployed financial sector worker, especially in NY. Besides Lehman dropping 24k workers on the job market, all the other big companies have been shedding employees faster than Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan shed clothes.
Let's assume for a minute that it really will only cost $700 billion to bail out these companies...sorry I'm back...I was laughing so hard while typing that...I wet myself and had to change my jeans...
Just how much money is $700,000,000,000? I don’t know about you but once you get to a million I have a hard time getting a handle on how much a billion is, let alone 700 billion.
$700 billion is about what the U.S. has spent on the Iraq war so far.
$700 billion is more than the total annual budget of the Pentagon.
$700 billion is a stack of $100 bills 475 miles high.
$700 billion is enough money to buy 8,235,294,117 pairs of my running shoes.
$700 billion is $100 for every person on earth.
$700 billion represents $2,300 for every man, woman and child in the United States. guess I should just mail the Feds a check for $29,900 right away.
Does bailing out companies make the remaining companies more responsible? (that would be a rhetorical question) or like our children, does always bailing them out make have a devil-may-care attitude and not worry about the consequences of their actions?
And what about us regular Joe's, do we pay attention to the health of the banks where we keep our money? Or do we not even worry about it because the accounts are FDIC insured?
Timing is everything. A few weeks ago the Feds decide Lehman Brothers could go ahead and fail. Then Merrill Lynch gets bought out by Bank of America. Then AGI almost goes under a few days later and the Feds save it. And then they decide a few days later to spend trillions of dollars (you don’t really think it’s ‘only’ going to cost the taxpayers $700 billion, do you?) to ‘save’ every financial company.
The 24,000 that lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers have to be thinking “what about us?”. If the company had only hung on for one more week they would have been covered by Uncle Sugar’s proposed bailout plan (still not passed at this writing - so there is hope that we won’t get screwed over and have our tax dollars wasted again).
Who did Lehman tick off in DC? Did they not payoff, I mean make campaign contributions, to the right senators and congressmen? Did their lobbyists wine, dine and bribe the wrong folks inside the beltway? Did they go to the salad bar illegally? Wear stripes with plaids? Try and cross breed dogs and cats?
Whatever went wrong you got to feel bad for the regular employee’s who worked there and their families. This is not the time to be an unemployed financial sector worker, especially in NY. Besides Lehman dropping 24k workers on the job market, all the other big companies have been shedding employees faster than Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan shed clothes.
Let's assume for a minute that it really will only cost $700 billion to bail out these companies...sorry I'm back...I was laughing so hard while typing that...I wet myself and had to change my jeans...
Just how much money is $700,000,000,000? I don’t know about you but once you get to a million I have a hard time getting a handle on how much a billion is, let alone 700 billion.
$700 billion is about what the U.S. has spent on the Iraq war so far.
$700 billion is more than the total annual budget of the Pentagon.
$700 billion is a stack of $100 bills 475 miles high.
$700 billion is enough money to buy 8,235,294,117 pairs of my running shoes.
$700 billion is $100 for every person on earth.
$700 billion represents $2,300 for every man, woman and child in the United States. guess I should just mail the Feds a check for $29,900 right away.
Does bailing out companies make the remaining companies more responsible? (that would be a rhetorical question) or like our children, does always bailing them out make have a devil-may-care attitude and not worry about the consequences of their actions?
And what about us regular Joe's, do we pay attention to the health of the banks where we keep our money? Or do we not even worry about it because the accounts are FDIC insured?
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Today's Workouts
10 mile run yesterday morning and 5.5 miles at lunch time today. Both runs featured fantastic weather.
No Shirt, No Shoes, No Credit Card, No Service
I’m not going to name names, but someone who I live with and who I’m related to by marriage, lost their credit card last week. Unfortunately said person’s card and mine have the same number so I had to call and cancel them and have new ones issued. That’s a 6-10 day process. Why? I don’t know. Maybe there is a plastic shortage, maybe they make them by hand, or maybe they are coming from China like everything else that’s sold in this country.
Whatever the case may be, it’s day 4 and the new cards still haven’t come yet. I was kinda hoping the 6-10 estimate was an extreme case scenario. The kind they give so people aren’t calling every few days to asking where in the heck their cards are.
So what’s the big deal? Why am I writing about this? Well I’m just surprised at how dependant we have become on credit cards. We used that card for everything. Anything that could be charged was put on that card. (don’t worry I pay it off each month – no finance charges for me).
We do this for a few reasons. One is convenience. It’s just easier than carrying around cash or a checkbook (yeah we have a check card but see reason two). Two, I like the idea of using someone else’s money for free for a month. And three, it was a Shell MC. We got rebates on gasoline purchases. Usually around $50 a month. Not a huge dent in the $400-$500 we spend every month on gas but better than a kick to the head by a Donk.
So not having a card for a few days is a lot more annoying than I thought it would be. We don’t keep much money in our checking account. So now I have to figure out a way to pay for a week’s worth of expenses without using credit. No it’s not the end of the world but when you are used to pulling up to the gas pump and using the card to put $100 worth of gas in the van and no longer can, you have to come up with a new plan. Used to buying things online like we are? Opps. Fortunately I had some cash on hand that I keep for emergencies and we did have some money in the checking account. So between the cash and the check card it’s working out.
Plus we had to connect various companies that charge our card automatically every month and tell them to stop using that card. And then we will have to call them back with the new card info when it shows up. Plus all the account information at the online stores we use (most running shoe stores) is going to have to be updated with the new card info too.
This experience makes me wonder if that’s what happened to Lehman Brothers. Did they lose their credit card for a week and couldn’t pay their bills for the week? No money to pay for salaries, office supplies, $10 million bonuses, or even worse Coffee!
I’m still having trouble deciding which card to give to Sam and which one I should keep…
Whatever the case may be, it’s day 4 and the new cards still haven’t come yet. I was kinda hoping the 6-10 estimate was an extreme case scenario. The kind they give so people aren’t calling every few days to asking where in the heck their cards are.
So what’s the big deal? Why am I writing about this? Well I’m just surprised at how dependant we have become on credit cards. We used that card for everything. Anything that could be charged was put on that card. (don’t worry I pay it off each month – no finance charges for me).
We do this for a few reasons. One is convenience. It’s just easier than carrying around cash or a checkbook (yeah we have a check card but see reason two). Two, I like the idea of using someone else’s money for free for a month. And three, it was a Shell MC. We got rebates on gasoline purchases. Usually around $50 a month. Not a huge dent in the $400-$500 we spend every month on gas but better than a kick to the head by a Donk.
So not having a card for a few days is a lot more annoying than I thought it would be. We don’t keep much money in our checking account. So now I have to figure out a way to pay for a week’s worth of expenses without using credit. No it’s not the end of the world but when you are used to pulling up to the gas pump and using the card to put $100 worth of gas in the van and no longer can, you have to come up with a new plan. Used to buying things online like we are? Opps. Fortunately I had some cash on hand that I keep for emergencies and we did have some money in the checking account. So between the cash and the check card it’s working out.
Plus we had to connect various companies that charge our card automatically every month and tell them to stop using that card. And then we will have to call them back with the new card info when it shows up. Plus all the account information at the online stores we use (most running shoe stores) is going to have to be updated with the new card info too.
This experience makes me wonder if that’s what happened to Lehman Brothers. Did they lose their credit card for a week and couldn’t pay their bills for the week? No money to pay for salaries, office supplies, $10 million bonuses, or even worse Coffee!
I’m still having trouble deciding which card to give to Sam and which one I should keep…
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Truth in Advertising
I love a retailer with a sense of humor. Very biblical.
This picture is from a gas station in Nashville where they had gas 'shortages' for a few days due to worry about hurricane Ike. What they really had was people panicking and rushing out to fill up their cars (got to love lemmings), and gas stations running out for a few days. Of course the Feds didn't help matters by having Bush come on TV and threaten to bring the hammer down on stations that raised prices. Have these morons never heard of supply and demand? Raising prices would have cooled sales down and there would have been enough gas.
Of course the poor guy that owns the gas station in the picture above is probably in Guantanamo right now.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Prayer Request
For a woman (duh, if it was a man that would be really interesting - not that a man could handle it) in labor. See one of my wife's other blog's for details.
Today's Workouts
Workouts for the last 3 days:
Saturday - 4.2 mile run with Joey riding his bike along and keeping me company.
Sunday - 5.2 mile run with Joey riding his bike along and keeping me company.
Monday - 5.5 mile run at lunch time.
Saturday - 4.2 mile run with Joey riding his bike along and keeping me company.
Sunday - 5.2 mile run with Joey riding his bike along and keeping me company.
Monday - 5.5 mile run at lunch time.
Oh Hunny, I Got a New Diet for You!
Lose weight with a naked lunch
How it works: Most of us would be repulsed by the sight of ourselves stuffing food into a body where love handles are on show. Taking your clothes off before you eat, to make you feel self-conscious about every fattening mouthful, is one option.
But if that doesn't work, curb your cravings by eating naked in front of a full-length mirror. This is only recommended when dining solo - and definitely not in restaurants.
Not that you need to lose weight. But you have said recently that you are trying to. I do realize that since we have kids this would mean that you would have to take your meals in the bedroom. But I'm willing to sacrifice and come in there with you so you don't have to eat alone. I'll even do the cooking. Deal?
One suggestion...no hot soup or drinks...ouch...
How it works: Most of us would be repulsed by the sight of ourselves stuffing food into a body where love handles are on show. Taking your clothes off before you eat, to make you feel self-conscious about every fattening mouthful, is one option.
But if that doesn't work, curb your cravings by eating naked in front of a full-length mirror. This is only recommended when dining solo - and definitely not in restaurants.
Not that you need to lose weight. But you have said recently that you are trying to. I do realize that since we have kids this would mean that you would have to take your meals in the bedroom. But I'm willing to sacrifice and come in there with you so you don't have to eat alone. I'll even do the cooking. Deal?
One suggestion...no hot soup or drinks...ouch...
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Pack the Bags Hunny, We are Heading to Wisconsin This Morning
Win five times your wife's weight in beer.
The second annual wife-carrying championships are Saturday.
Runners-up win her weight in cranberries, bratwurst, mustard or cow manure.
All you have to do is carry your wife through a 300-yard obstacle course that includes grass, sand, waste-deep water, hurdles and hills.
With all that running I've been doing and your recent weight-loss, I think we have a good chance to win this thing. I know you don't drink beer sweetie, but we could sell it and you could go on that Victoria Secrets shopping spree you have been always dreaming of. I know, I know it sounds to good to be true. But soon that Daisy Duke outfit you have been wanting could be yours.
After we win the race I want you to shove as many rocks in your pockets as possible. The more you weigh at the end - the more beer we get.
Man I hope we get first place and the beer. Al tough the cranberries and bratwurst sound great too. I'm not so sure about the mustard - 100 pounds is quite a bit. I guess we could eat mustard sandwiches for the next few years. And as far as the manure goes, with the 11 kids, that's about our daily production anyway.
The second annual wife-carrying championships are Saturday.
Runners-up win her weight in cranberries, bratwurst, mustard or cow manure.
All you have to do is carry your wife through a 300-yard obstacle course that includes grass, sand, waste-deep water, hurdles and hills.
With all that running I've been doing and your recent weight-loss, I think we have a good chance to win this thing. I know you don't drink beer sweetie, but we could sell it and you could go on that Victoria Secrets shopping spree you have been always dreaming of. I know, I know it sounds to good to be true. But soon that Daisy Duke outfit you have been wanting could be yours.
After we win the race I want you to shove as many rocks in your pockets as possible. The more you weigh at the end - the more beer we get.
Man I hope we get first place and the beer. Al tough the cranberries and bratwurst sound great too. I'm not so sure about the mustard - 100 pounds is quite a bit. I guess we could eat mustard sandwiches for the next few years. And as far as the manure goes, with the 11 kids, that's about our daily production anyway.
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