Good Thing You Look Great in Stripes Honey

Cause you could end up in jail too. I told you checking out 100 romance novels at a time from the library would get you in trouble. Is getting a glimpse of Fabio's chest-hair on the covers really worth getting locked up?

GRAFTON, Wis. - A Grafton woman has been arrested and booked for failing to pay her library fines. Heidi Dalibor, 20, told the News Graphic in Cedarburg she ignored the library's calls and letters as well as a notice to appear in court.

The incident cost Dalibor about $30 for the overdue paperbacks "White Oleander" and "Angels and Demons" and her mother nearly $172 to get her out of custody.


With all the books, cd's and videos that you and the kids check out each week, it's only a matter of time before some of them slip through the cracks, don't get returned, and you get locked-up.

I'm not saying the kids want to get rid of you, but I did see Cecilia flushing books down the toilet the other day.

Of course you would probably welcome a stay in prison. 3 meals a day, no laundry,no teaching, no puking kids, lots of time to sleep...

Wait just a dog-gone minute, this might explain why you wanted to use my library card the other day. You are trying to set me up. I can see it all so clearly now. You were going to check out Oprah's Book of the Month, not return it and ignore all the late notices until they came and locked me up, weren't you? Good thing my library card was expired. Ha, thought you had me didn't you? I'm not as dumb as I look. Ha!

This Dude Lives Better Than I

SAO PAULO, Brazil (AP) - Officials in northeastern Brazil say they confiscated the equivalent of more than $170,000 and two pistols from an imprisoned drug trafficker (Genilson Lins da Silva) whose jail cell was equipped with a plasma TV set, a refrigerator and gym equipment.

I've got about a Buck 3.80 in cash, a 12 inch TV and a bunch of broken water pistols. We do have an old treadmill and TWO refrigerators, so there. Oh, I've also got nicely graffitied van.

This dude was living large. I need to get sent to prison for awhile. 3 squares a day and your own room. It has to be quieter than this house is, even during the prison riots, and there are probably less food fights at supper time.

I wonder if you get to run in the prison yard and if they allow shipments of running shoes on a monthly basis. Assuming that is allowed I think I could do some serious prison time. It's also assumed that I won't become some large bald guy named Bubba's girlfriend - The Donk would be jealous.

I need to get this guy to fix up my cell (work office) for me. The office has 4 empty walls, no windows, 3 plain metal desks and chairs, and I share it with 2 guys from another country whose accents I can't understand. On my desk I have a stapler, a tennis ball, a nose-shaped pencil sharpener and a coffee mug.


As Genilson was dragged off to solitary confinement he was heard singing:

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
Im just a poor boy,I need no sympathy-
Because Im easy come,easy go,
A little high,little low,
Anyway the wind blows,doesnt really matter to me,
To me