I Was Featured on One of my Favorite Financial Sites

Recently I was asked to do a guest post on one of my favorite financial sites, Mad Fientist

At the risk of sounding very self-promoting, check it out Here

Everyone was very kind with their comments and it was a great experience

Beware Getting too Much Financial Help from Granny

Grandparents spending too much on your kids (with or without your ok)? Do grandma and grandpa spoil the kids too much for your tastes? Are they always buying the kids’ stuff, taking them places, bringing them treats (donuts and other junk food), getting them the latest electronics?

Sure some of those things are great in small doses; needed clothes, the occasional treat or special outing. But it needs to be special not a regular occurrence. Otherwise the kids are gonna grow-up spoiled and with a sense of entitlement.

Gently suggest alternatives. Just spending time with grandma without spending money, educational toys, presents the entire family can enjoy, subscriptions to magazines, back to school supplies, family passes to museum, savings bonds or savings accounts in the child's name.

Another consideration is that grandma/grandpa might not really be able to afford it. We don't want to be stressing them financially also. Don't let the geezers bankrupt themselves because they are helping you out.

Or maybe it’s the parent’s always bugging granny for money because the parents are slackers and over-spenders and can't manage their finances. In that case, you as a grandparent need to, in the word's of Barney Fife, Nip it in the Bud. Do not be an enabler for your overspending offspring. Trust me your grand-kids won't go hungry.

Oh and grandma, if you are helping out financially, don't blackmail your kids and think you get a say in how the grand-kids are raised. You don't. You had your chance when raising your own kids.

Obviously this applies to all family and friends, not just grandparents.

Don’t get me wrong, we have gotten plenty of help from the grandparents on both sides of our family and it has been extremely helpful. But it hasn’t been over the top. And my kids, and us, are very appreciative and don’t expect it. Just try and find a balance.

***all posts applying to my family only - your results will be different***

Large Families are too Expensive to Raise

HAHAHA - funny people like to use this line on me. Usually Yuppies and DINKS. Maybe it eases their guilt.

"The current cost of raising a child is nearly $235,000 from birth to age 17." More in the Northeast where I live. (from cnn.com)

Let's start there. That means my13 kids will cost me over $3 million dollars to raise. Parents of large families know that these figures are typical government propaganda. My income over my 45 years of working probably won't be that much. For 12 kids, 1 is out of the house on her own, that works out to $167,000 per year. Way more than my annual salary.

The estimated expenses for a baby's first year are $32,000. What are these people buying their kid? Designer breast-milk from a Super Model? Gold lined diapers? A Swedish Nanny? Silk wipes for their poop-butts?

People; get a used crib, buy a decent car seat and stroller. Find a place that sells used baby clothes. Breast feed. Have your family and friends throw you a shower.

With our first kid we spent under $2,000 on her. That includes medical expenses and diapers, plus everything else. (my bride says we spent less than $200 on actual baby stuff, so throwing in some diapers (we used mainly cloth) and some medical co-pays, we probably spent closer to $1,000 than $2,000)

Here is an interesting article from MSN on why it's so much more expensive for modern parents (note its not really that much more expensive these days, it's what I call the "guilty parent syndrome") compared to in the past.

I few highlights/low-lights

Housing-1/3rd of that $235,000 is housing. This is because modern parents find it "unacceptable" for kids to share rooms. So what do they do. Buy huge McMansions so their 1.8 kids can have their own room and space. We bought an 8 bedroom (5 at the time, we added 3 bedrooms) foreclosure that cost the same or less than most 3 bedroom houses in town. Some of our older kids do have their own room, most of the kids do not.

Food-supposedly people spend more on food now cause they are eating healthier. You wouldn't know it by looking at the size of people. We are a country of fatties. Another reason given for parents spending more these days on food is the amount they spend on bottled water (50% increase in the past 10 years) and dining out more. See my post from August 5th on our food costs.

Transportation-Gas prices have doubled in the past 4 years. No arguing that. But you can drive less, combine trips, bike, walk, run etc...The article also mentions that of today's "modern" parents, 41% bought their kid their first car!? Seriously! Crazy folks. If my kid's want a car, they pay for it themselves. That includes: purchase price, insurance, tags, gas, repairs etc...

Health Care-health care costs are way up and go up every year. That is true. But I bet we spend about the same on health care as a "normal" 4-person family. The key is not being a "Nervous Nellie" parent. Don't rush your kid to the doctors for every sniffle or every time they fall down or cut themselves. We have saved tons over the years by trusting our parental instincts and not rushing to the ER for every hangnail and splinter that our kids have had. Don't be that mom that takes the kid to the doctor at first hint of a cold.

Extracurricular activities-ah, extracurricular activities, one of my major pet peeves (if it's major can it be a pet peeve?). The amount of activities that some people are involved in is mind-boggling (if you have the time and money, and that's the lifestyle you like, go for it). You know what's a good extracurricular activity? Playing outside with your siblings and friends and a stick. Play tag, catch, kickball, spud, kick the can, spin the bottle...Sure our kids do some activities. 4, scratch that, make that 3of them are playing soccer this Fall. The others are either to old or to young. (you have to be 9 to play sports at our house) And 2 of the kids may take piano during the school year, at home, if the price is right...and if my wife can talk me into it.

Technology-"20% of third-graders have their own mobile device, as do 39% of fifth-graders and 83% of middle-schoolers" Elementary and middle-school kids have cellphones! Crazy world, crazier parents. Our cellphone rule: you can get a basic cellphone when you are 15 and you can pay for it yourself. There is also a list of rules that come with the privilege of having a phone. iPods, you have to be 13 and pay for it yourself, of course. It also comes with a list of rules. Computer, we have a desktop in the kitchen for the kids to share. Computer use also has a list of rules, see my wife's blog for all the rules. College age kids buy their own laptops.

Child care-"the cost of having an infant or toddler in full-time day care runs as much as $14,000 per year". Whatever, our child care cost is $0. Next.

College-Our kids all go to community college for 2 years and then transfer to a State University for the final 2 years. Some commute, some live at school. All pay for it themselves. (Are you seeing a trend here? We are NOT our kids' piggy-banks, they are being prepared for the real world) Community colleges are around 1/3rd of the price of 4-year schools. All my kids get grants, scholarship and other aid. Between summer jobs and working during the school year they make it work. One has already graduated from school, including her Masters. 4 others are currently in college. 2 seniors, 1 junior and a freshman. See here for a fuller explanation of our college strategy.

The more kids you have, the less it costs per child. It's called "economies of scale". Or in layman's terms, Cheaper by the Dozen.

***all posts applying to my family only - your results will be different***

Frugality and Happiness

Living a Frugal Lifestyle does not equal misery. People are under the impression that being careful with your spending and saving for retirement, means we are living a deprived life. People think we have a lifestyle like a third world country. That we eat only rice 3 times a day. Wear old sacks for clothes. Recycle toilet paper. Reuse our dental floss, ok I have done that. And live in a mobile home with no a/c. Not true. (well we do eat a lot of rice)

Everyone needs to find their own balance between frugal living now and having enough to live on in the future. You could live like a monk now and save every dollar you can for the future. Or you could spend everything you make now, plus take on debt, and live like a pauper later in live. Or you could find a balance between the two that works for you.

Spend money on what makes you truly happy and on what you enjoy. Did buying another purse when you have 30 in your closet really make you happy? How about that new golf putter you just bought when you have 6 of them getting dusty in your garage? Do your boys really need to go to the barbershop to get their haircut when you could buy a $20 hair-clipper set from Amazon or StuffMart?

Mrs Sardonic and I are working on balancing the two extremes. We enjoy live and do plenty of activities. We just choose carefully and spend wisely. But the choices are ours to make, we are not being dictated to by our finances, we are dictating to our finances. We are in charge and make the decisions.

The thing that people need to understand is that we don’t feel deprived or poor. We still spend money, on ourselves, on our kids, on others. We pick and choose carefully. And when we buy something we take our time and research the purchase. Sure at times we make fast, rash choices, we learn and move on. I’m still mulling over purchasing a new iPod Shuffle ($46 at Amazon) to replace the old one that died a week ago (I sweated it to death while running).

We go on vacations. One week at the beach every summer with the whole Fam. Our kids play sports, one in the Fall and one in the Spring. We take the summer and winters off, to save money, to de-emphasize sports a bit, for more family time and less running all over the damn place being chauffeur to our kids.

Growing up we didn’t: play every sport there was, take horseback riding lessons, take archery, participate in plays, do gymnastics, take ballet, go to a different camp every week of the summer. No, we did a few things and spent a ton of time playing outside with our friends (pickup sports, spud, kickball, tag, bb-gun wars, riding bikes). And somehow we survived. I like to think we enjoyed childhood, looking back it seems like it was great. Maybe I'm mis-remembering it, but I don't think so.

Remember when kids used to ride their bikes to places? Now parents drive them to sports practice, drive them to the 7-11, drive them to “play dates”. What in the heck is a play date anyway? What a bunch of dorks people have become, I blame the yuppies.

I hear that nowadays parents even let their kids decide where they want to go to high school. If their kids choose a private high school, mom or dad gets a second job. When I was a kid I was told where I was going to school, at least through high school. And that's another reason why our kids are home-schooled, it's almost free. It actually costs less than the 'free' public schools (with their fees, new clothes, peer pressure purchases). We spend under $200 a year to school a bunch of kids.

Letting our kid’s do all and every activity is hardly a great way to prepare them for the future. We wouldn’t be doing them any favors if we gave into their every whim. I wasn’t put on earth to give them everything they want, I was put here to help get them to heaven (which is crazy hard sometimes).

And believe it or not you don’t have to spend money to have fun. But that’s a good subject for a future post.

Dave Ramsey sums it all up pretty well, “If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.”

Heard Around the House

The Mom to CeCe (4) "If you lick your sister's hippopotamus again I am putting soap in your mouth"

Eric (4) and Kolbe (2) standing around the potty going pee. Kolbe has just learned to go standing up like his big brothers and thinks he is cool. Both boys peeing at the same time and shouting "Fire in the hole!"

What's Been Going On the Last 15 Months

• Still crazy madly in love (with Sam, my wife of 23 years). Love that woman more and more each day
  
• Sam is more lovely than ever. She has recently lost a significant amount of weight. She has gone from beautiful to gorgeous
• I have still been running everyday and qualified for the Boston Marathon, which I will be participating in on April 16th
• I work from home everyday now instead of just a few days a week...usually its a good thing
  
• Still have 12 kids - we did have a miscarriage last fall
• Our oldest child, Alexandria, finished grad school last May at age 21
  
• Alexandria (22) was married last August and is living a few miles down the road
• Josh (20) is home from the seminary and going to University of Maryland and studying Kinesiology
  
• Caleb (19) is a junior at Towson University and studying Athletic Training
• Lizzie (17) is a freshman at the local community college, Anne Arundel CC not the ghetto Prince George's CC
• Barbara (15) is a junior home-schooled high schooler. She goes to a tutor school for homeschoolers two days a week
• Joey (14) is a freshman home-schooled high schooler. She goes to a tutor school for homeschoolers two days a week
• Robert (12) is homeschooled and in 7th grade
• Dominic (10) is homeschooled and in 5th grade
• Mary (8) is homeschooled and in 3rd grade
  
• Cecilia (6) is homeschooled and in 1st grade
• Eric (4) is terrorizing the household
• Kolbe (2) is cute as can be and was recently potty-trained. First time in 22 years with no one in diapers...bittersweet

So Its Been Awhile

But that doesn't mean that I have been slacking, well not totally.

We were at the beach (Bethany Beach, DE) for a week. Great weather, Great food and good times.

I have been running, pretty much everyday.

Working now and again.

Watching the NBA finals and World Cup Soccer - Go Italy - the US too but seriously do we expect them to really fine it? With all the illegals we have shouldn't we be better at soccer?

I still have the most awesome wife around. The kids are ok too.....for kids ;)

The oldest one, Alex (20), graduated from college with honors (4.0 gpa) with a degree in social work. She started Grad school a week later.

The Army hired me to come up with a new uniform since they are repealing their "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy. Here is the finished product:

Got Snow?

Pro-Life Ad to Air During Super Bowl

University of Florida football star Tim Tebow and his mother with star in a pro-life ad during the Super Bowl.

See story here on Fox News

Of course the women's "rights" groups have their panties (if they actually wear them) all in a bunch over the ad and are trying to get it banned before the big game. We can have ads with flatulent horses, women with shirts cut down to their navels, erectile dysfunction drugs and pop-stars singing and 'dancing' like they belong in a strip club. But airing an ad about a sick mother who decides to keep her baby against doctor's advice is considered bad. God is a lot more patient than I could ever be.

Focus on the Family is the one doing the ad so they are facing the brunt of the attack of the un-shaven legged and un-washed masses from NOW and other Femi-Nazi groups. Is it just me or do these pro-death proponents all look like women who wouldn't be likely to get pregnant anyway...so what's their problem? At the risk of sounding more uncharitable than usual, I have been to a bunch of pro-life rallies and protests where the NOW-COWS were counter protesting. And they were all ‘double-baggers’ and of questionable sexual orientation.

Now I’m not a constitutional lawyer and I didn’t stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night, but I’m pretty (yes I am) sure that the constitution doesn’t really speak to the issue of which Super Bowl ads should be banned. I don’t think the founding fathers anticipated that situation. I’m pretty sure it’s up to the networks and the FCC standards.

Is this thing still on?

Man it's a little dusty around here. Looks like I need to find my feather duster and tidy up a bit. Maybe a bit of wd-40 to get rid of the old rust too.

I am actually alive and well -more or less- just been busy and haven't had a lot to say. Christmas went well. And the kids are all doing great. My running has been hit or miss. Not that I'm not doing, I've been running everyday, just that my mileage is way down due to by screwed up back. Instead of getting in 70-90 miles a week I have been putting in 40-55 a week. Going to a chiropractor and working on my core so I am hopeful I will be able to run long distances again someday. But don't worry I have still been getting cool new running shoes. I just got 3 new pair on closeout 2 weeks ago. Got a great deal on K-Swiss Kona's, New Balance 904's and a pair of Brooks running shoes.

Still trying to decide if I can handle another season of American Idol. Last year was painful at times, especially the guest performers. I've seen bits and pieces the past few weeks. But I don't care about the early audition shows much. Too many delusional people getting made fun of. Plus when I turned it on the first night guest-judge Victoria Beckham frightened me. A 100 pound woman who is 30% boobs is not something to behold before bed. So while I think I will watch it starting next week with Hollywood week I have to see if I feel like writing about it. I'm getting lazy in my old age.

So how about y'all? How have you been?

Shunning the Family Bed. Who Benefits Most?

From Mercola.com

According to Dr. Jay Gordon, babies sleeping on a safe surface with sober, nonsmoking parents respond to their parents, and the parents respond to them. The chance of SIDS occurring in this situation are close to zero. Babies in a crib or in a room away from their parents, on the other hand, will breastfeed less and are at greater risk of infections, including life-threatening ones.

The medical profession, as it often does, is approaching the entire idea of the family bed backward. A baby in the same bed with his or her parents is surrounded by the best possible surveillance and safety system. It must be the responsibility of the manufacturers and proponents of cribs and separated sleep to prove that such disruption is safe, not the other way around.

Newborn babies breathe in irregular rhythms and even stop breathing for a few seconds at a time. To put it simply, they are not designed to sleep alone.

Read the Rest of the Article Here

Our babies pretty much sleep with us when they are newborns. What do the rest of you do? Just curious. Not trying to start a big debate or anything.

Ok so its been awhile since I posted something

I hope y'all have enjoyed the break.

So what have I been up to? Not much really. Just life.

• Hanging out with the family and my lovely bride
• Sam is potty training Eric. How come I don't get a piece of candy when I go in the toilet?
• Still running and it has been getting better. I had to skip my big 50 mile race last week due to back/hip pain. I have been going to the chiropractor for the past 3 weeks and it's getting better. Always doing strengthening and stretching exercises at home.
• Thanksgiving was ok. We cooked a 22 pound turkey and 6 Cornish game hens. Looked like a family of birds had been slaughtered.
• The kids have another week and half of school and then they are done for the holidays.
• Bought a new pair of running shoes with some birthday money. Shocking I know.
• Trying to figure out what races I want to do next year
• Cecilia (Hunter) turned 4 yesterday

Life with Cecilia aka Hunter

Can be interesting at times to say the least

Pre-dinner conversation with Cecilia (age 3) last night

Cecilia (in the bathroom going potty) yelling "someone come wipe me"

Me "what did you go?"

Cecilia "I went pee"

Me "Then wipe yourself"

Cecilia "I don't want to have to wash my hands again before dinner so I want you to wipe me"

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Cecilia has out grown her naps, kinda. This basically means she is a monster most of the afternoon and then falls asleep right before dinner for an hour and then can't fall asleep at night until 10pm and is always coming downstairs and annoying us with requests for food, stories, a can of beer etc...



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Cecilia is going to the local public school system's special ed school two afternoons a week for a pre-school program for help with her speech - not that we really want to understand some of the things that come out of her mouth. And no that rather beefy woman is not Sam. She is the bus aide. And yes we actually put our precious little 3 year old on the short bus with that tattooed-up woman. For the record Cecilia did not try and bum a smoke from her.



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This morning for some unknown reason Cecilia decided to take a black marker (the permanent kind) and 'color' her momma's favorite family picture. On the plus side, at least she wasn't sniffing the marker. Cecilia would be the cute blonde kid in the lower right. And no it won't come off and yes maybe we should have replaced the glass...whatever



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Yet despite all this she can be incredibly cute at times.

Kids Running Amock

"Yeah runnin down a dream
That never would come to me
Workin on a mystery, goin wherever it leads
Im runnin down a dream"
~Tom Petty

Truxton Park Triathlon - Father's Day Morning
Joey (11) and Robert (9) did a kid's tri the other morning. I got them up bright and early - 5:30am - and we headed over to Annapolis.
The race was a 100 meter swim, 4 mile bike and a 1 mile run. The results still aren't posted so I don't know their times or how they placed but both did a great job and had a blast. Here are some pics from the day.

My Fathers Day Goodies

So I made out like the only dame at a sailors convention. Besides being surrounded by my loving family...I got a bunch of loot too (all of it deserved of course).

My oldest child gave me the following t-shirts - don't know were she got this impression of me ;)





My bride gave me this t-shirt...and yes...she got a matching one...man we are going to look like dorks. I hope she doesn't make me wear them out in public. She probably has some couples retreat/encounter group lined up for us to go to together. You know, one of those things where you have to talk about stuff like your relationship and feelings.....lead by some middle-age touchy-feely ex-hippies who are more screwed up them I am......I get the chills and nauseous just thinking about it.

And no gift giving occasion would be complete with out some new running kicks.

For those keeping score at home: The blue and white running shoes are Asics DS-Trainer 14's and the red and white ones are Mizuno Wave Runner 12's
Shoe review to follow in a few weeks.

I also received some cash from one of my kids (one who actually works) to buy running shoes. And a veggie chopper (so I can cook more for my wife?) and some Epsom salts to soak my sore dogs in.

As an added bonus two of my boys did a kids Triathlon Father's Day morning...post on that tomorrow...

Keeping Kids Katholic

note - this post has nothing to do with this post of my bride's. It's not like I have to prove that I can be serious. I think I remember being serious during the either the Reagan or Carter administrations...she's just jealous.

Not letting the light of faith go out in our children should be every Catholic parent’s main goal in raising their children. Their faith is more important to them then food (shocking I know), medical care, shelter and clothing (heck going around naked can be fun). We go out of our way to have our kids vaccinated, to feed them properly and provide for them, but do we worry about and do as much about keeping their faith alive? I know that I usually don't. I'm a slacker and a slug most of the time.“For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul?” Mark 8:36

Speaking as a dad and husband, it seems that we guys have a tendency to leave this responsibility up to our wives. We consider it ‘women’s work’ and unmanly. Whoa I just read the title I used for this post, unfortunate initials. Where was I? But this is really our responsibility…it falls under that whole head of household thing. If we aren’t going to take charge and lead, we should at least be supportive of our wives when they do it.

I’ve been sorely lacking in this department. What brought this to mind was a young college girl who spoke at our church this past Sunday. She belongs to a nationwide college campus group called FOCUS (The Fellowship of Catholic University Students). This group helps to promote the faith on college campuses across the country.

Part of her talk was to share some stats regarding Catholics kids and their faith:
250,000 catholic kids start college each year. By the end of their freshmen year, 50% have stopped attending church and by graduation the number is 70%. This doesn’t even include kids who stopped going back in high school.

So would you rather spend the time and effort to help mold them into fine young Catholic men and women? Or neglect your spiritual headship and take the chance that they will grow up to have multiple tattoos and piercings in places you haven’t even heard of and live in your basement for years playing Guitar Hero and Resident Evil and smoking weed? Or maybe they well wind up going around Saturday mornings two-by-two trying to sell The Watchtower to unsuspecting homeowners just trying to keep their grass neat and garden gnomes clean. It’s really hard to say which outcome is worse. Those JW’s can be damn persistent. They are harder to get rid of then herpes. I’ve tried the garden hose, answering the door with a automatic weapon in my hand and shouting in Arabic, no trespassing signs, pit bulls, answering the door naked, drawn a chalk outline of a body on my front porch and even sicked all my kids on them. All to no avail. I really thought that last one would work. Any suggestions would be welcome.

What better time than Lent to work on this (teaching our kids the faith not running off the jw's). Here are some ideas and resources to help us dads out.

Grace at meals
Bed time prayers
Prayers for the dead
Celebrating Feast days and Holy Days – everyone is always looking for an excuse for a party
Nightly rosary or partial rosary
Monthly confession
Hitting daily mass once and awhile
Visiting nearby shrines, basilicas, cathedrals etc…
Reading from the Bible or Lives of the Saints books

Keeping Your Kids Catholic by Beret Ghezzi

Do I Have to Go? - 101 Questions About the Mass, the Eucharist, and Your Spiritual Life

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters - 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know

Boys Should Be Boys - 7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons

Building Better Families - A Practical Guide to Raising Amazing Children

Gun Digest 2009: The World's Greatest Gun Book Just seeing if anyone is paying attention

Successful Fathers - The Subtle But Powerful Ways Fathers Mold Their Children's Characters

Parenting With Grace - Catholic Parent's Guide to Raising (almost) Perfect Kids

You Have How Many Kids?

In regards to large families...again

Once again let’s start with a disclaimer. This is not directed at the following people: those who can’t conceive, those who are destitute and live in a cardboard refrigerator box, those who are mentally or physically unable to have anymore, those who just flat out hate kids and anyone else I may have left out. There! Happy?

With all the recent publicity of the octuplets birth, large families are in the news and getting scrutinized more – for better or worse.

A lot of people have been critical of the woman who had the 8 babies, that’s not what this article is about. Whatever people think about her maybe our best response should be to pray for her and all of her children. I’m thinking they are going to need it. Because, Damn! A mother and father together raising one child is hard enough. Besides everyone and their mother has been chiming in on the Octo-Mom. From the publicity hound Duggar’s to her parents and grandmother to Angeline and Brad. I think O even mentioned it in his state of the union address.

But her story has lead to some sweeping generalizations about large families. How we are irresponsible. That we can’t possibly raise all those children properly and provide for them. That the children won’t get enough attention and will feel neglected. That we are killing the earth by using up more resources than ‘normal’ size families. Or how we are just plain weird…um, let’s skip that one.

I recently read some of the comments after this article in the NY Times. It was actually a pretty good article. But the comments from readers will give you a good idea of how some view large families. I know I know it’s readers of the NY Times commenting but still probably representative of America in general. Well maybe not, it seems The Times is mortgaging its building to make payroll. So maybe nobody reads it anymore. Does anyone actually buy a newspaper anymore? I haven’t in about 15 years but that’s material for another post.

Issue 1 – We are using too many resources and killing the earth.

In some cases maybe we are but so what? Who says you get to decide who gets what resources? We pay for our expenses…unlike many. Last time I check we were still technically a Republic, although we are on the fast-track to socialism now. In a lot of cases we really don’t use much more than ‘normal’ size families. For example my gas and electric bill is lower than my dad’s and step-mom’s because we keep the thermostat lower in the winter and higher in the summer. That’s our choice and that’s theirs. So 14 people are using less power to heat and cool their house than two. Neither of us is right or wrong, that’s just how we choose to live.

We own a 15-passenger van (of course we do) and it gets around 12 mpg (sure it does). I’ll admit that was kinda rough last summer when gas was north of $4. But we are using less gasoline per person than the ‘regular’ couple with their perfect ‘1 boy and 1 girl family’ driving a mini-van that gets 22 mpg. I’m too lazy to do the math, but you get the point. Besides let’s be honest here folks - mini-vans are dorky. I mean seriously, is there anything more pathetic than a guy who commutes in a minivan? Who wears the jock in that family? Well middle-age guys driving around in Sebring convertibles are dorkier, yeah like they are getting dates. Excuse me, what’s that? Well yeah I do drive a Teal Chevy Prism. What’s your point? That car is a total chick magnet.

Besides if these minivan drivers really cared about the earth they would have no kids and drive a Prius or a rickshaw and use reusable cloth toilet paper (I think I'd rather use a power washer than those). That would give them a really small carbon foot fungus. Side note - Is the Prius the whitest car ever made or what? I mean really how many brothers have you ever seen drive one? I’ve done an informal survey of Pruis’ I’ve seen around town, out of about 25 cars 24 were driven by white-folks. And I’m pretty sure the one black dude I saw driving one was a CPA or an actuarial. Has there ever been a more Pretentious-Look-at-Me-I’m-Such-a-Wonderful-Person-I-Love-the-Earth-but-I’m-Really-a-Trendy-Douchebag car made? If I see one more story about some rich movie actor who owns a Pruis I’m going to throw-up in my mouth. I just love the photo ops of the stars driving around in a Prius. It’s probably the only time the car has ever been out of their garages. Hey don’t get me wrong, I’d love to get 45 mpg but not at $24k for a little tin can that in an accident would get crushed like The Donk’s heart when I workout with someone else.

Shoot where was I? (man I need to get that Concerta prescription refilled) Oh yeah large families and how we are using more than our ‘fair’ share of resources. Well other than food I’d say we use less per person than then our critics. On the more food charge I’ll plead guilty, we love to eat. But heck this country wastes millions of tons of food each year so it’s kind of moot point.

Issue #2 - Our children will feel neglected and won’t get enough attention.

LMAO – this one kills me, really. Our kids ALWAYS have someone to play with…or fight with. They are almost never bored. And if they are they won’t admit it around us. Bored is a 4-lettered word around this house. Claim you are bored and you will me scrubbing toilets faster than you can say Tidy Bowl. Plus we have lots of friends with large families (defined here as 3 kids or more) in the neighborhood and other kids are always here and some or our kids are always there.

As far as spending time with mom and dad, well maybe they don’t get as much one-on-one time with their parents as other kids. But I kinda doubt it. Most of the small families (talking about 2 kids or less…not midgets) I know drop their kids off at 7 in the morning at daycare or before school care and then don’t see them again until dinner time. Then it’s a couple of hours of homework, lather, rinse, repeat. Sam spends all day with the kids homeschooling them during the school and at the pool during the summer. I work from home 2 days a week and I’m home the other 3 days by 4:30.

Plus, let me let you in on a little secret, once kids reach a certain age, they don’t’ want to spend a lot if any time with their parents.

Issue #3 – Kids cost too much to raise.

Well that all depends on your lifestyle and how you raise them. We live a fairly simple and normal life. We aren’t dirt poor and we aren’t wealthy. But we always have food and clothes (good thing, you don’t want to see this body naked). We go on vacation once a year. The kids play sports and do other activities. Sure they wear hand-me downs but they also get new clothing too. They get plenty of birthday and Christmas gifts, too many probably. We bought our house in 2000 from a foreclosure sale and fixed it up. And we bought less house than we could afford so there isn’t stress (well not a lot of stress) about making the mortgage payment each month and the house will be paid off in 4 years. Sadly I got a feeling there will be plenty of opportunities for people to buy foreclosures in the next few years.

What about the cost of college you ask? What about it? To quote Judge Smails in Caddyshack, “the world needs ditch diggers too’. Seriously when did college become the Holy Grail? What is wrong with going to a trade school, getting an apprenticeship or starting your own business right out of high school? I know people who have done all those things and done quite well. And I know people who went to college and are total losers. My major in college was economics….and I test software for a living. Jeez I’m boring. Anyway our 3rd is heading to college in the fall and so far it’s worked out for us. Our oldest child went to community college for 2 years (for free – scholarships and grants) then she transferred to a State College as a junior. It’s not free but with scholarships and grants it was doable for her. Our second son is in the Seminary (free). That’s the best route to go. Send your kids to a Seminary or Convent. Might as well get something out of your tithes ;). #3 kid will be heading to community college in the fall. We are waiting to see how much financial aid he gets, but aid or not it will be affordable. That is our plan for the rest of the kids, 2 years of community college and then off to a State University, assuming they want to go to college in the first place.

Are those of us with large families that threatening to some? Are the critics just a bunch of busybodies who like to tell others how to live? Do we make them feel somehow inferior (I hope not)? Or is the real reason that we make them feel guilty about their choices? I really have no idea. I can’t figure out where the hostility from some people comes from. Maybe they are just jerks. Thankfully they seem to me a small, but vocal, minority. Most of the people we encounter are pretty supportive or at least tolerant of our family size.

At least I’ll have plenty of kids to take care of me when I get old. I mean all 12 of them can’t hate me at once, can they? Y’all blasting us for our big families, have fun in that nursing home. I hear Lawrence Welk Karaoke night is a hoot. And who wouldn’t want to sit around in a wheelchair all day slobbering on one’s self? Good times. Well that assumes that in the near future the Feds aren’t whacking the old and the ‘useless’ to save on social security and Medicare. Speaking of which, the only reason you are going to have any chance of even getting a dime from social security, is because of all my taxpaying and future taxpaying children. Heck three of them already have/had part-time jobs and have gotten to know what it feels like to have the government steal money from them each payday.

But in order to just get along with everyone, we have decided to sell our 15 passenger van and get this new SUV hybrid that just came out.

Catching up

Some highlights from the past month or so that I haven’t been blogging

• Barbara, Joey, Robert and Dominic are taking piano and seem to be doing well
• Advent was good but crazy busy at times
• Sam’s family all came over for Christmas the Sunday before Christmas. 60+ people – surprisingly all the valuables still seem to be here
• Cecilia (Hunter) was in a pres-school CCD play. She was an Angel – a real stretch of her acting ability. She wanted to be a rock but that part was taken apparently. Sam directed said play.
• We always buy our tree on Christmas Eve (tradition and we are cheap). This year all the lots in town were out of trees by then. Almost went the fake tree route but the kids revolted. Found one a few towns over.
• Eric (The World’s Fattest Baby) pulled all the TV equipment off the shelves, broke the DVD player. Second one he has broken in the past 6 months
• The economy still stinks but my job is going well and we are hanging in there ok.
• Sam is getting new French doors that are desperately needed but not the second set of washers and dryers she covets. Hey I gave her a baby too – you can’t have everything. We are in a recession after all
• Alex (18) is home from college break and is sharing a room with Mary (5) and Cecilia (3). She doesn’t seem to thrilled that we gave away her room and she has to share with the little girls
• Caleb got his learners permit 2 months ago and is doing well learning how to drive
• Christmas day we went to 8am mass then spent the day at the grandparents. The big gift this year was a Wii from my brother and assortment of games and accessories for it from my dad and stepmom.
• My Christmas haul was mainly triathlon related stuff: Rollers for biking indoors (basically something to kill yourself on – google them), swim mp3 player (can listen to music underwater), Garmin GPS watch (can use it to tell how far and fast you have run), French Press (indirectly workout related since it lets me get caffeine into me in a tastier way), and an assortment of clothes.
• Josh is still at the seminary and wasn’t home for Christmas. We will go up and see him in April. Over New Years I took Joey, Robert and Dominic to NH for a retreat. We stopped for the night each way in CT at Josh’s seminary. We had dinner, morning mass and breakfast with him each time. He is happy and doing well.
• Lizzie is also doing well – probably because she has her own room (Alex’s old room)
• Barbara is babysitting a lot and has more money than God
• We currently have 11 rolls of toilet paper in the house, enough for 3...4 days tops - if we conserve. I'm planning on going to DC to ask congress for a bailout plan to get us some more TP.

A Weekend in the Life

Haven't done one of these in awhile.
Here was our life this past weekend starting Friday.

Friday

5-6am Sam at Holy Hour

6-6:30 Sam at grocery store

6:15am 4 littlest guys wake up

6:30-7am Sam at daily Mass

8-11am Homeschool

9-9:30am Sam back to grocery store

11-11:30am Lunch

12-1pm Holy Hour for Vocations

8am-4pm Dad at work

3:30-5pm Joey to a leadership training workshop

3:30-5pm K4J (Catholic Kids Club) at our house. Sometimes it is at the park down the street when the weather is nice. 15 boys. Girls club meets at a neighbors house, 2 of our girls go to that

5-7pm Dominic's birthday party. 7 boys invited.

6pm Caleb and Elizabeth leave for weekend retreat - home Sunday in time for lunch

6-8pm Barbara at Girl's club meeting

7pm-next morning Joey at slumber Birthday Party


Saturday - aka Dominic's birthday

7am dad grocery shopping

9-10:15am CCD for 3 of the kids

10:30-1pm Barbara at oratory

11:30-2pm Joey at year-end soccer party

noon-3pm Dominic lunch and birthday shopping with his aunt

3pm Alex home from college for weekend

5-9pm Barbara at year-end soccer party

5-8pm relatives over for Dominic's birthday dinner


Sunday - aka my birthday

7-8am Dad goes running

10am Mass

11:30am Caleb and Lizzie home from retreat in time for lunch

11:30am-1pm Lunch with Dad and Step mom at the Chinese buffet for my birthday

3-6pm Sam at church for and Internet Safety Forum

3-5pm Barbara had friends over

3-7:30pm Donk and Family over for dinner

7-8pm Friends over for cake and ice cream

8pm Alex heads back to college

8:30-11pm Redskins vs Cowboys game