Happy Valentines Day Dear

Since I am too cheap to buy you a real gift...

1. I love your soul
2. I love your face
3. I love your faith
4. I love your mind
5. I love being married to you
6. I love you body
7. I love your optimistic personality…even if it annoys me at times
8. I love that you homeshool our kids
9. I love that you have faith in me
10. I love the taste of the salt on your skin
11. I love waking up in the morning with your hair in my face
12. I love your smile
13. I love your hair…even when you cut it short, but don't get any ideas
14. I love you during labor
15. I love how hot you look when pregnant
16. I love that you stay home with the kids
17. I love that you support my working out
18. I love that you feel safe in my arms
19. I love how you cuddle up next to me in the winter for warmth
20. I love your laugh, the nice one, not the witch-like cackle
21. I love that you don’t like to go shopping
22. I love when you wear blue jeans and diamond stud earrings
23. I love you when you cry
24. I love that you can’t balance a checkbook and might not even know where we bank – that’s trust
25. I love to watch you sleep
26. I love that you don’t call me at work 20 times a day..oh wait I work from home now...
27. I love how you can nurse a baby and coach a soccer game at the same time
28. I love when you make my breakfast or lunch
29. I love when you rub my shoulders
30. I love when you hug me from behind
31. I love that you are the pick of the litter
32. I love when we pray together
33. I love that we are BFF’s
34. I love your eyebrows (plucked or not)
35. I love your warmth even though you are always cold
36. I love when you try and do new things on the computer
37. I love that you are more beautiful at 43 then you were at 16 when we met
38. I love how you are selfless
39. I love that I love your more today than the day we were married
40. I love TTN
41. I love when you wear jeans...you know the ones
42. I love that you started working out and lost weight and are even sexier than normal

Happy Birthday Hunny

Blessed the Husband of a Good Wife

Don’t you just hate it when the readings from Mass convict you and make you feel like dirt? Or in my case dirt from Three Mile Island.

Both of the readings below made me realize how truly blessed I am to have found and married such a wonderful woman. Ok realized isn’t the best word, of course I’ve known it all along. It’s not like it just dawned on me. I’ve known she was special since the first time I met her 25 years ago. Reminded is probably a better word. Sadly I tend to take my bride for granted. She is so wonderful and I am so lucky to have her that I just assume she will always be there for me and the kids (which she is) but she doesn’t get the thanks and recognition that she deserves for putting up with me and the little blessings from God.

Anyway between the readings below and having her down and out for a month after her c-section, I got a great reminder during that time of how much I have to be thankful for.

The first reading from a few Sunday’s ago

I prayed, and prudence was given me;
I pleaded, and the spirit of wisdom came to me.
I preferred her to scepter and throne,
and deemed riches nothing in comparison with her,
nor did I liken any priceless gem to her;
because all gold, in view of her, is a little sand,
and before her, silver is to be accounted mire.
Beyond health and comeliness I loved her,
and I chose to have her rather than the light,
because the splendor of her never yields to sleep.
Yet all good things together came to me in her company,
and countless riches at her hands.
Wisdom 7:7-11

Then this reading at a wedding last weekend that we attended

Blessed the husband of a good wife, twice-lengthened are his days; A worthy wife brings joy to her husband, peaceful and full is his life. A good wife is a generous gift bestowed upon him who fears the Lord; Be he rich or poor, his heart is content, and a smile is ever on his face.
A gracious wife delights her husband, her thoughtfulness puts flesh on his bones; A gift from the Lord is her governed speech, and her firm virtue is of surpassing worth. Choicest of blessings is a modest wife, priceless her chaste soul. A holy and decent woman adds grace upon grace; indeed, no price is worthy of her temperate soul. Like the sun rising in the Lord’s heavens, the beauty of a virtuous wife is the radiance of her home.
Sirach 26:1-4, 13-16

Ok I know the first reading is talking about wisdom not wives but I decided it was talking to me about my wife and what a gift she is to me. A gift to be cherished and loved and protected and placed above all other gifts. As for the second reading from Sirach, the author could have had my wife in mind when he wrote it. With the possible exception of “governed speech”. She does like to talk every now and again ;)

“...no price is worthy of her...” Sam you truly priceless to me. Thank you so much for saying yes all those years ago.

And thanks for putting up with:

• My running all the time
• My skanky toenails from running
• My joking about trading you in for 2 20 year-old (twins)
• The hair sprouting on my ears
• My smart-assedness (I’m pretty sure that is a word)
• HT and TTN
• My taking you for granted
• My complaining about the house
• (Insert all other faults of mine here)

Just don’t let it go to your head.

Maybe I Should Have Married the Baker or the Candlestick Maker

Instead of The Butcher

The first picture is Eric before he was mauled by Sam the Slayer. Look how cute he is. Now look at the after picture. What a train wreck. Obviously he’s still got a cute face; he is my son after all. She could have at least had it done professionally. I mean I am grateful that she saved me some moolah but come on he looks almost as bad as Don King or Carrot Top on a good day.

And no I’m not one of those aging hippies who can no longer grow hair and is trying to live vicariously through my children...ok well maybe I am one of those but that’s beside the point. He looks like he has the mange or as been mauled by a cranky pit bull. Heck he was so traumatized by the haircut that it damaged his eyes.




Well it could have been worse...He could have ended up looking like this kid



But I do think it's a lot worse that my Blogging Sister's bad haircut experience no matter what she says.

Lessons Learned

As some of you know Sam went on a retreat from Thursday evening until Sunday night. Here are a few lessons that I learned will watching the kids alone.

• Wii is a great babysitter

• Chocolate cake left out on the counter over night still makes a great breakfast

• Kids can go 72 hours just fine on pizza, nachos and fluff sandwiches

• Diapers don’t need to be changed nearly as much as women think

• Ronald Regan was right, ketchup is a vegetable

• If you haven’t seen your 18 month-old in half an hour – bad things are probably happening

• Our kitchen sink is big enough to hold all the dishes we own

• It’s possible to clean a 5,000 sq foot house in 30 minutes before the mom gets home

• Baths are optional

• Yelling at your 3 year-old for wearing miss-matched socks might indicate that your have consumed too much coffee

• cotton-candy is very very very sticky

• My kids are great and I wouldn't trade any (well almost any) of them

• My wife is a much better mother than I

Stuff Catholics Like

Long Hair - Ok so this doesn't just apply to Catholics, so sue me.

#12 May be Delayed Longer Than Expected



AKA - Sam cut her hair again.

No she didn't really shave it off ala Brittany Spears. But it's around shoulder length now. It's gotten progressively shorter over the years. So a 'Brittany' hair-do in the near future isn't that far-fetched. 5 years ago, when she really loved me, it was down to her waist. Sure it might have hung in the toilet when she sat down and yes on occasion it would get caught in the car door on exiting (its not like anyone ever drove away when it was stuck in the door). All those things are a small price to pay for love.

The first time she really whacked it off she made me do it! First she tricked me (not hard to do) into saying yes to a haircut. She said she wanted to donate to 'locks for love' so some little girl with cancer could have a wig to wear while going through treatments. Now how am I supposed to say no to that? Even I'm not that cold-hearted. Then to save money she had me cut it off. Sam has nice long straight hair so she had me cut off 24 inches...2 feet! That is a whole lot of hair. I imagine some girl has a beauitful wig now becuase of it...ok so that was worth it.

I know I know, what is it with us guys and long hair on our women? Why do we like it so? Is it a leftover gene from our caveman days when we used to drag women around by their hair? Is it because we love to get our hands all tangled up in it and smell it? Or maybe it's because the norm in society is for men to have short hair and we have Hair-Envy?



Don't get me wrong, she's still stunningly beautiful. And hopefully there will be a 12 soon, sure can't hurt to try.

Of course I'm not saying she has to have it down to the ground. It is possible to have hair that is too long. Unless you are locked in a castle tower of course. Then anything goes.

Foxy and Smart - You Got it All Babe

We already knew you were healthier from a previous post

But now this new study just came out...

Curvy women are cleverer too

It was already known that men find curvy women more attractive and that they live longer. Now research suggests that women with an hourglass figure are brighter and have cleverer children, too.

The study found that women with large hips and small waists are more intelligent than those with either “apple-shaped” or linear bodies.


So not only are you totally hot, you are also brilliant, and because of you so are the kids.

I guess Alexandria should call you and thank you for the 1400 she got on her SAT. She owes it all to your hips. If I had married some scrawny Ally McBeal type who looks like they haven't had a good meal since the stock market was doing well, Alex would be practicing saying: "would you like fries with that order?" or "would you like a smiley-face sticker" instead of being in her 3rd year of college at age 18.

I'm just glad all that Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch that I've bought you over the years wasn't a waste of money. I'd hate to think I was keeping those Spotted-Owl-Kissers in business just for the yummy factor of their products.

I'm not sure how this all correlates with all the people that seem to have their brains in their hind parts. Does it just apply to us regular folks who have their brains up top in their melon? Obviously we will need a government funded study to figure this one out.




There are always exceptions

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Credit Card, No Service

I’m not going to name names, but someone who I live with and who I’m related to by marriage, lost their credit card last week. Unfortunately said person’s card and mine have the same number so I had to call and cancel them and have new ones issued. That’s a 6-10 day process. Why? I don’t know. Maybe there is a plastic shortage, maybe they make them by hand, or maybe they are coming from China like everything else that’s sold in this country.

Whatever the case may be, it’s day 4 and the new cards still haven’t come yet. I was kinda hoping the 6-10 estimate was an extreme case scenario. The kind they give so people aren’t calling every few days to asking where in the heck their cards are.

So what’s the big deal? Why am I writing about this? Well I’m just surprised at how dependant we have become on credit cards. We used that card for everything. Anything that could be charged was put on that card. (don’t worry I pay it off each month – no finance charges for me).

We do this for a few reasons. One is convenience. It’s just easier than carrying around cash or a checkbook (yeah we have a check card but see reason two). Two, I like the idea of using someone else’s money for free for a month. And three, it was a Shell MC. We got rebates on gasoline purchases. Usually around $50 a month. Not a huge dent in the $400-$500 we spend every month on gas but better than a kick to the head by a Donk.

So not having a card for a few days is a lot more annoying than I thought it would be. We don’t keep much money in our checking account. So now I have to figure out a way to pay for a week’s worth of expenses without using credit. No it’s not the end of the world but when you are used to pulling up to the gas pump and using the card to put $100 worth of gas in the van and no longer can, you have to come up with a new plan. Used to buying things online like we are? Opps. Fortunately I had some cash on hand that I keep for emergencies and we did have some money in the checking account. So between the cash and the check card it’s working out.

Plus we had to connect various companies that charge our card automatically every month and tell them to stop using that card. And then we will have to call them back with the new card info when it shows up. Plus all the account information at the online stores we use (most running shoe stores) is going to have to be updated with the new card info too.

This experience makes me wonder if that’s what happened to Lehman Brothers. Did they lose their credit card for a week and couldn’t pay their bills for the week? No money to pay for salaries, office supplies, $10 million bonuses, or even worse Coffee!

I’m still having trouble deciding which card to give to Sam and which one I should keep…

Pack the Bags Hunny, We are Heading to Wisconsin This Morning

Win five times your wife's weight in beer.

The second annual wife-carrying championships are Saturday.

Runners-up win her weight in cranberries, bratwurst, mustard or cow manure.

All you have to do is carry your wife through a 300-yard obstacle course that includes grass, sand, waste-deep water, hurdles and hills.



With all that running I've been doing and your recent weight-loss, I think we have a good chance to win this thing. I know you don't drink beer sweetie, but we could sell it and you could go on that Victoria Secrets shopping spree you have been always dreaming of. I know, I know it sounds to good to be true. But soon that Daisy Duke outfit you have been wanting could be yours.

After we win the race I want you to shove as many rocks in your pockets as possible. The more you weigh at the end - the more beer we get.

Man I hope we get first place and the beer. Al tough the cranberries and bratwurst sound great too. I'm not so sure about the mustard - 100 pounds is quite a bit. I guess we could eat mustard sandwiches for the next few years. And as far as the manure goes, with the 11 kids, that's about our daily production anyway.

Good Thing You Look Great in Stripes Honey

Cause you could end up in jail too. I told you checking out 100 romance novels at a time from the library would get you in trouble. Is getting a glimpse of Fabio's chest-hair on the covers really worth getting locked up?

GRAFTON, Wis. - A Grafton woman has been arrested and booked for failing to pay her library fines. Heidi Dalibor, 20, told the News Graphic in Cedarburg she ignored the library's calls and letters as well as a notice to appear in court.

The incident cost Dalibor about $30 for the overdue paperbacks "White Oleander" and "Angels and Demons" and her mother nearly $172 to get her out of custody.


With all the books, cd's and videos that you and the kids check out each week, it's only a matter of time before some of them slip through the cracks, don't get returned, and you get locked-up.

I'm not saying the kids want to get rid of you, but I did see Cecilia flushing books down the toilet the other day.

Of course you would probably welcome a stay in prison. 3 meals a day, no laundry,no teaching, no puking kids, lots of time to sleep...

Wait just a dog-gone minute, this might explain why you wanted to use my library card the other day. You are trying to set me up. I can see it all so clearly now. You were going to check out Oprah's Book of the Month, not return it and ignore all the late notices until they came and locked me up, weren't you? Good thing my library card was expired. Ha, thought you had me didn't you? I'm not as dumb as I look. Ha!

Today's Workouts

Josh is home from his New Hampshire school for the weekend. He came home for Father's Day and we also went to an ordination to the priesthood this morning (pictures of that to be posted later).

32 miles cycling this morning before the ordination.

Josh and I went for a 3.2 mile run this afternoon. It was very hot out. Here we are pre-run. He's getting too tall. Or maybe I'm shrinking.



Josh and The Sweet Momma

For Men Only

Does this conversation sound familiar?

The Wife: ‘honey can we go out to dinner or a movie sometime?”

The Husband: ‘Why? One of the reasons I got married was so I didn’t have to go out on dates anymore. Dates are big pain in the rear and cost too much. Can't we just watch Ultimate Fighting on TV instead. And yes I’ll go make myself comfortable on the couch for the night’.

It took me years to realize the importance of dating your spouse. Women evidently love that type of thing. I on the other hand thought everyone liked to sit around the house at night and not talk – go figure. I think it's some type of emotional bonding thing that makes them feel closer to their husbands. Whereas all it takes men to get emotionally attached to their spouse is something that comes in one of these bags.


I’ve come to realize that dating your spouse is not optional; it’s a ‘gots to do’. This is especially true for stay at home moms whose only adult conversation comes from talking to the mailman or Amway salesman. Heck Sam rushes out of the house once a month when the guy comes to read the power meter just to get in some talking time. She was driving him so crazy they no longer read the meter and we get free electricity now.

It doesn’t have to be expensive…go for a walk, have dinner at home then go out for coffee and dessert, sit in the car by yourselves and neck like 'white-trash'…I’m sure our wives can come up with a 1000 things they would like to do other than the ONE thing we would like to do. And who knows, do something they like to do and you just might get to do something you like to do.

Try and dress up a bit too. Nothinig fancy but no looking like this dude.

Note to regular readers - this is not a picture of The Donk. The Donk wishes he was that good looking.

It also sets a good example for your children. It shows your sons how they should treat women and it shows your daughters how they should expect to be treated.

So Tuesday I was working from home and me and the Hunny went to the local Italian Grille. Nothing fancy and it only took an hour and cost 20 bucks. But it was an hour of conversation without interruption. No kids asking for a drink or snack, no kids butt's to wipe, no breaking up fights over Happy Meal toys, no yelling at the teenagers to get of the phone and do their chores. Just the two of us hanging out and talking and playing footsie under the table.

Maybe other guys already knew this and I'm just slow. Momma always did say I was special. But I put this out there as Public Service Announcement to my fellow husbands. Because sleeping on the couch is fun once in awhile but does get old after awhile.

I'm not sure why I titled this post 'For Men Only'. I think only women and The Donk read this blog.

Day 4 of Rob Held Hostage.

Sam, Lizzie (13), Barbara (12) and baby Eric all flew up to New Hampshire on Friday morning to see our second oldest child Josh at the HS-seminary he goes to. They are having a big Mother’s Day celebration up there. It’s too much stress, money and hassle to take the whole family up there. So Sam’s Mother’s Day present was to fly up there and see her boy. Lizzie and Barbara both babysit like crazy so they asked if they could go (girls aren’t usually allowed at the school and they have never been) if they paid for their own tickets. $49 each way on southwest, cheaper than driving…almost. And of course baby Eric travels wherever the Boobs go. (lucky boy). So that left 7 home for me to keep an eye…not too bad. And no this won’t be a whining post. I know I’m not going to get any sympathy from the mom’s who read this blog and the dad’s will be too afraid to support me.

I dropped them off at the airport at 4:45am on Friday – Sam wanted to get up there as soon as possible. They rented a car and drove to the school. They are staying at a nice widow ladies house that lets us stay for free when we visit. It sounds like they are having a good time…other than eating 4 meals so far off the McDonalds Dollar Menu – yuck. They have eaten at a few real places too. I think Sam is just trying to save money…good wife. The weather has been beautiful up there too.

Here is a conversation we had Friday after she left the airport and was driving to the school.

Me: “did the flight go ok?”

Sam: “yes”

Me: “did you get the rental car ok?”

Sam: “yes’

Me: “what kind of car did they give you?”

Sam: “It kinda of silvery colored”

Silence

Me: “um, what make and model?’

Sam: “I don’t know”

Me: “Never mind I’ll ask Josh when you get to the school.”

Me to myself: ‘Women”

So anyway here it is ‘Day 4 of Rob Held Hostage’ and we are all surviving - sorta. I just did a head count a little while ago and everyone is here. But around 6am the power went out. We have had lots of rain and wind the past 2 days so I guess that did it. I got up when the power went out and went outside. The next door neighbor has power lines down in his backyard and the transformer that is on a pole in the trees in his backyard was on fire. They fire dept hung around all morning watching it burn and making sure it didn’t spread. Not much chance of that in this downpour.

Caleb (15) and I drove over to my dad’s house and swiped his generator. Then we stopped and bought $50 worth of gas for the sucker…that’s enough for a day and a half. We got it setup and I know have the FIOS running so we have internet, phone and the oh so important ‘Dad’s Best Friend’ the TV. I also got two of our refrigerators running and almost as important, the coffee grinder and pot.

6 trucks from the local utility company have just pulled into the court and are back in the woods with chainsaws in the pouring rain…better them than me. So I’m hoping we have power by this evening when my lovely bride gets home. I need to pick her up at the airport around 7pm. I can hardly wait. Man I miss that woman! It’s lonely here without her.

Halfway to 80 Babe and Looking Great

Today is my beloved bride Sam’s 40th birthday.
I’ve decided to keep her after all and not trade her in for two 20 years-olds (twins…girls), like I’ve been saying for years that I would do when she turned 40. Her response was always “If you think you can handle them dear, go right ahead”. That always shut me up.

For your 40th – 40 things I Love About You.

1. I love your soul
2. I love your face
3. I love your faith
4. I love your mind
5. I love being married to you
6. I love you body
7. I love your optimistic personality…even if it annoys me at times
8. I love that you homeshool our kids
9. I love that you have faith in me
10. I love the taste of the salt on your skin
11. I love waking up in the morning with your hair in my face
12. I love your smile
13. I love your hair…even though you cut it short
14. I love you during labor
15. I love how hot you look when pregnant
16. I love that you stay home with the kids
17. I love that you support my working out
18. I love that you feel safe in my arms
19. I love how you cuddle up next to me in the winter for warmth
20. I love your laugh, the nice one, not the cackle
21. I love that you don’t like to go shopping
22. I love when you wear blue jeans and diamond stud earrings
23. I love you when you cry
24. I love that you can’t balance a checkbook and might not even know where we bank – that’s trust
25. I love to watch you sleep
26. I love that you don’t call me at work 20 times a day
27. I love how you can nurse a baby and coach a soccer game at the same time
28. I love when you make my lunch for work and put notes in it
29. I love when you rub my shoulders
30. I love when you hug me from behind
31. I love that you are the pick of the litter
32. I love when we pray together
33. I love that we are BFF’s
34. I love your eyebrows
35. I love your warmth
36. I love when you try and do new things on the computer
37. I love that you are more beautiful at 40 then you were at 16 when we met
38. I love how you are selfless
39. I love that I love your more today than the day we were married
40. I love TTN