McDeath

Since most of you probably don't live in the DC area where this add is running....



Sure it's a cheap-shot, sure I would never go vegetarian (blah), put it does make a point. The very ironic thing is that I am typing this while eating a McDonald's breakfast - hey I was running late and didn't have time to have a good breakfast.........

My Deepest Apologies

After years of mocking Al Gore and all the other tree-huggers and spotted owl kissers for going crazy over this global warming hoax I have to apologize (I mean the man did give us the Internet, isn’t that enough? What more can we ask of him). It appears that they were right along and I was mistaken (there is always a first time) and the earth is indeed heating up. It’s my entire fault for taking the lack of proof at face value and assuming they were wrong. I mean just because we are having milder and a cooler summer than normal how was I to know that it was actually getting hotter? I just assumed that since it has been colder than normal this summer that it was...well...actually colder than normal. Stupid me.

But finally I have proof and have seen the errors of my ways. I now will be selling my 15-passenger van and buying a Smart Car. I’m sure I can stuff all 14 of us into it somehow. Maybe a roof rack. We will also be selling our big house and moving out into the country and building a log cabin and eat granola for the rest of our lives. We will be getting rid of our clothes that are made in an environmentally unfriendly way and become one with nature – it won’t be pretty.

What is this proof that could make me change my lifestyle so drastically? Well see for yourself. Scary isn’t it? See ya at Whole Foods.

Pet Peeve Phriday

Pet owners -
Not just any pet owners but one specific kind. You probably know a couple like this

· Decided not to have kids because of the poor environment but has two pretentious pure breed dogs
· Met with the breeders ahead of time and paid thousands of dollars for the dogs
· Talks about their dogs as if they were their children and also has some ‘cute’ story to tell about them
· Feeds the dogs designer dog food and spends more money of dog food than I do on groceries
· Buys their dogs Christmas gifts and dresses them in sweaters
· Sends pictures of their dogs in their Christmas cards
· Takes their dog to the groomers monthly
· Spends $20,000 for the dog to have a hip replacement instead of $50 to have it put down
· Hangs out at dog-parks drinking Starbucks coffee with other losers
· Let their dogs sit on their laps while driving
· Takes their ‘babies’ to doggie daycare while at work and checks in on them throughout the day on the doggie webcam
· Can never do anything fun at the last minute cause they have dogs to care for
· Spends more on medical care for their 2 dogs annually than I do for my 12 kids
· Hauls them around in a Volvo station wagon with ‘Coexist’ and ‘Practice Civility’ bumper stickers on it (one of these days I’m going to flatten one of those cars with my Suburban)
· Say things like “isn’t he so cute”, as their dog is rubbing on your leg or sniffing your crotch

I hope they have fun with those dogs when they are old and can’t take care of themselves. I’m sure an Akita can change depends just as well as one of their non-existent children could.

Doesn't Look Like $72.83 Worth of Steak

Does it?


We wouldn't normally spend that much on meat for a week let alone one meal. So how did this happen? Well it happens when you are buying a whole bunch of groceries and not paying all that much attention to what you are buying. Oh and when you confuse a $ (dollar sign) for a Lb. (pound sign).

Quick math lesson - A steak that is labeled "net wt 1.29lb, unit price $9.99/lb" does not cost $12.90 total for almost 10 pounds of meat for a cost of $1.29 per pound! Never mind that that one little steak in no way, shape or form looked anything like 10 pounds of beef. Compound that fact times 6 steaks and you get one pricey meal.

Now doesn't that make y'all feel better about any financial mistakes you've made recently? Just doing my part to make others feel good about themselves. Our normal 'buy a bunch sale price' for meat is $1.99lb or less. So that's why more than one steak was purchased.

For the record the steaks were great! We also had red beans & rice, salad and garlic bread.

BTW - Cooking over a charcoal grill on a day when the temps are pushing 100 is a real treat. Apparently I wasn't as dehydrated as I thought I was from the trail run earlier in the day. Oh well the sweat must have added some extra flavor.

Cecilia (Hunter) wasn't impressed.


Afterwards we had family movie night. Tonight was the 'classic' The Sandlot (rated PG for some language - you have been warned)

Ham Porter: Hey, Smalls, you wanna s'more?
Smalls: Some more of what?
Ham Porter: No, do you wanna s'more?
Smalls: I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?
Ham Porter: You're killing me Smalls!

Ham Porter: This pop isn't workin', Benny! I'm bakin' like a toasted cheese-it! It's so hot here!

Give the Prez a Break

Now I think y'all know how I feel about The Messiah Wannabe in Chief and politician's in general. And I can't believe I'm going to stick up for one of those Washington leaches, but....Did y'all see this on the news?

WASHINGTON (AP) - The group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants the flyswatter in chief to try taking a more humane attitude the next time he's bedeviled by a fly in the White House.

PETA is sending President Barack Obama a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher, a device that allows users to trap a house fly and then release it outside.

"We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals," PETA spokesman Bruce Friedrich said Wednesday. "We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals."
Are you people freaking serious? Don't you have something better to do? Like playing with poisonous snakes or with matches? Or running with a fork maybe?

I got to give The "O" credit for getting that fly. He's kinda like Ralph Macchio in the Karate Kid cathcing that fly with chop sticks.

What is PETA going to want next? The Whitehouse staff to catch mosquitoes and release them at a swamp. Maybe humanly trap Whitehouse mice and rats (there are plenty I'm sure) and then let them go at the capitol building where no one will be able to tell the difference between the senators, congressmen and the rodents?

I for one am going to go out of my way to kill all the flies I can this summer. With the number of times the little darlings leave the doors open, I should have plenty of game to hunt. Come on people we are talking about FLIES people! FLIES! You can legally jab a needle into a partially born baby's head and kill it but we shouldn't swat FLIES? I sure hope there is a special place in hell for people like this.

I've had just about enough out of these tofu and bean sprout eating, spotted owl tongue-kissing fly-huggers, to last about a life time. Now if you will excuse me the charcoal on my grill is hot and I need to go cook up some dead animal flesh for supper.

Happy Thanksgiving

Did you go with a traditional turkey? Or maybe something more exotic like a Turducken.

We went the turkey route. But here are some pictures of a Turducken we had at a party a few years ago. It was yummy.

How to Live Longer

How different lifestyle changes can add years to your life


1.8 years

Be a winner


2 years

Eat chocolate


2.5 years

Have lots of sex


3 years

Be religious – and have friends


3.6 years

Eat less meat


3.7 years

Keep active


4 years

Drink wine


4.1 years

Have low blood pressure and cholesterol


5 years

Be educated and play golf


6.6 years

Eat well


7 years

Lose weight


7.5 years

Stay positive


8 to 10 years

Don't smoke


10 years (men)

Get married


10-plus years

Be happy


14 years

Change your lifestyle - Researchers found that those who exercised regularly, ate five portions of fruit and vegetables a day, didn't smoke, and had a moderate alcohol consumption lived an average of 14 years longer than those who adopted none of these behaviours.


20 years

Be wealthy and live in the right neighbourhood

Where's the Beef?

Well it's right here!

CLEARFIELD, Pa. - It took Brad Sciullo 4 hours and 39 minutes to finish a marathon. A meat marathon, that is.

The 5-foot-11, 180-pound western Pennsylvania chef is the first person to eat a monstrosity called the Beer Barrel Belly Bruiser: a 15-pound burger with toppings and a bun that brought the total weight to 20.2 pounds. The mountain of beef is the product of Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub, about 100 miles northeast of Pittsburgh in Clearfield.

The burger included a bun, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, onions, mild banana peppers and a cup each of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard and relish, pub owner Dennis Liegey said.

For completing the challenge in the under-five-hour time limit, Sciullo won $400, three T-shirts, a certificate “and a burger hangover, as I call it,” Liegey said.

A meat marathon?! Why didn't I think of that? Sounds like a lot more fun than the running kind of marathon I did a few weeks ago. Instead of having sore legs for a week, I'd have a sore stomach and rear-end. I wonder if it comes with some laxatives on the side - that thing looks like it could seriously stop up the old plumbing (I guess you could always call Joe the Plumber).

Doesn't say if dude went to the bathroom a lot during the 4+ hours. I'm guessing binge n' purge was against the rules. So no Super Models need apply.

Man that is a really cool looking burger. I think I need to take the family there for dinner. One of those should just about do us. I checked out Mapquest and it's only around 225 miles away. Hey Hunny, you up for a road trip?

Here is the website for Denny's Beer Barrel Pub. They have a whole assortment of different burgers. 2 pound, 3 pound, the 15 pound one mentioned above ($49.95), a 50 pounder ($179.95) and a 100 POUND PLUS sucker that goes for $379.95 - No I don't think my family could eat that one.

Coffee and chocolate are the key to long life

Chocolate, coffee and tea are among the key foods and drinks needed to live a long and healthy life, according to a leading nutritional scientist.

Speaking at his inaugural lecture as professor of functional foods at Leeds, Prof Williamson added: "Although they might not be essential for growth and development or the maintenance of major body functions, there is increasing knowledge concerning their potential for health maintenance or disease risk reduction throughout adulthood and during ageing."

The 20 foods are:

• apples
• blackberries
• black tea
• blueberries
• broccoli
• cereal bran
• cherries
• cherry tomatoes
• coffee
• cranberries
• dark chocolate
• green tea
• oranges
• peaches
• plums
• raspberries
• red grapes
• red onions
• spinach
• strawberries

I can live with that list. There is nothing on there I wouldn't eat...with a nice big helping of meat of course.

Maybe it was Esskay and they only like Oscar Meyer

Why is everyone so afraid of Pork Products?

First we had Weiner-Gate in Philly and now we have Bacon-Gate in Ohio.

WEST CHESTER, Ohio -- One of Rep. John Boehner’s local offices was evacuated Monday afternoon after a suspicious package arrived in the mail.

Staffers received the letter from Georgia by U.S. mail. After noticing it was leaking an oily substance, they called the Capitol police in Washington, who advised them to evacuate as a precaution and call in local authorities.

Ok first off, why are people in West Chester, OH (wherever that is) calling the cops in DC? What in the heck are they supposed to do from 300 miles away? Tell them to fry it up and make BLT's out it? I mean if you lived in Houston would you call the cops in Detroit if you were being mugged or if you lived in Chicago and your baseball team hadn't won a world series in a 100 years would you call the LA police for help? Plus it’s not like they called the FBI or something. They called the Capitol Police. These are the ones who keep little kids on field trips behind the velvet ropes so as not to disturb all the important work going on at the Capitol (ok that was hard to type with a straight face). Calling them is like calling Barney Fife to help catch a serial killer.

After an X-ray analysis, investigators determined the package contained bacon.
Boehner voted twice last week for a $700 billion bailout of the financial industry, which passed Friday and was signed into law by President George W. Bush.
Some critics have charged that the legislation contained unnecessary giveaways, which are sometimes referred to as “pork barrel” spending.

I just fine this whole thing hilarious. Mailing bacon to a congressman! Classic! I wished I had thought of it.

No injuries were reported, and the incident remains under investigation.

Wow that was close. Cause we all know how harmful bacon can be. It can cause a mean paper cut. I'm sure they will track down the poor dude that sent it and arrest him on some made up charge. Maybe using the US mail for unauthorized transportation of swine. Maybe I shouldn't assume it was the US mail. Now way it would have gotten there this soon after the vote last week. It must have been UPS or FedEx.

Me? What would I have done? Fried up some eggs and hash-browns to go with it of course.

Boehner is from Ohio, same place as crazy dress up like a cow lady. Coincidence. I think not.

I'll spare everyone another tirade about what a bunch of sissies we have become.


Our public servants hard at work keeping us safe from menacing pork products. At least they didn't blow the bacon up like they did the poor defenseless weiners in Philly

They just went a little Hog Wild in OH. What a load of Hogwash. So this wasn’t Ham-Let. Sorry to Boar you. But don’t be Bacon me mad. That’s enough for now; I need to go watch the Squeal of Fortune.

Hogs and Kisses

Are You Part of the $500 Club?

Sam made the monthly trek to BJ's wholesale club yesterday afternoon (after stopping at the bank to take out a 2nd mortgage). Maybe I can default on that loan and get the morons in DC to bail me out too. Oh wait they only bailout politically connected big banks, never mind. Anyway it was a new record high - Yea! But it's really not a lot of stuff. Ever spend a small fortune on groceries and still can't find anything in the house to eat?

This wasn't fun-stuff shopping either. There are no running shoes on this list. Nothing black and lacy. No Chia Pets, mood rings or pet rocks. No Ribeyes for the grill. No this is your basic boring family stuff; toilet paper (lots of tushes here), diapers (once again the tush thing), laundry detergent (30+ loads a week), mini-pads with wings (they fly?), 300 pack of Dum-Dums for Halloween (our house is going to get egged for giving those out), plus trash bags, butter, milk etc...the excitement of it all is killing me.

And yes I realize that olives, cinnamon gum and Slim Jims are on the list. Don't hate us cause we know how to live large. But the 6 year-old pays for the Slim Jims (2-100 packs)and then he sells them to his siblings for a quarter each, making a tidy profit. The olives are Sam's, she's got a wicked martini habit. The gum, Sam got that for me. Apparently I have dog-breath. But no more. Look for an announcement about #12 soon.

On the bright side, there was a $1.50 instant rebate on an 18-pack of light bulbs. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

Spending $577.43 on a trip to the grocery store wouldn't be so bad if this was food for a few weeks. But it's not. It's just some of the basic food and household items. We hit BJ's every month or so for this stuff. All our regular (meats, produce, dairy etc...) grocery shopping is done weekly.

Food is now the number 1 expense in our budget. It passed the mortgage in the last year or so. The prices really have gone up quite a bit on the basics. In spite of what the official government inflation figures might say. While our mortgage has stayed pretty much the same over the years.

I've tried everything to save money on food, short of going Hannibal Lecter or inducing an eating disorder in my kids. All the meats we buy are on sale and borderline gangrene, we use generics when they are a better deal, we get day old bread, we've eaten the kids goldfish, we only have dessert on even number days and the kids have volunteered to give up their vegetables to help out. Brings a tear to my eye when they are so considerate.

Plus people are always giving us food. Leftover from parties, church functions etc...we are the drop-off point for excess food. We are like some hurricane Katrina refuge camp. So I guess I should just be grateful that the bill wasn't a whole lot more.

Udderly Ridiculous

Woman Wearing Cow Suit Charged With Disorderly Conduct

MIDDLETOWN, OH -- A Middletown woman is accused of being disorderly in public -- while wearing a cow suit.

A police report filed about the incident said Michelle Allen allegedly chased children in her neighborhood while wearing the suit on Monday evening.

Allen also urinated on a neighbor's front porch, the report said, and was warned by officers to go home and stay there.

Allen was charged with disorderly conduct after an officer found her causing traffic problems on North Verity Parkway.

The officer's report stated that Allen was verbally abusive to him on the trip to jail and smelled of alcohol.

The report did not speculate as to why Allen was wearing the cow suit.


Let's review the pertinent details of this story. Shall we?

A police report filed about the incident said Michelle Allen allegedly chased children in her neighborhood while wearing the suit on Monday evening.

This is where all the Vegans of the world come from. They may not become full fledged sprout munchers, but at the very least those kids will be eating at Chick-fil-a for the rest of their lives. If I were the police I'd see of Ms Allen has any ties to the local Chick-fil-a.

Allen also urinated on a neighbor's front porch.

While I do realize that if you gotta go you gotta go. But this crosses the line. Cows put out a serious amount of urine.

Allen was charged with disorderly conduct after an officer found her causing traffic problems

Don't you just hate it when cows won't get out of the fast-lane? She's lucky no one plowed into her and turned her into ground beef.

The officer's report stated that Allen was verbally abusive to him

Mooing curse words at the officer I imagine. How do you say 'dirty pig' in cow?

...and smelled of alcohol

Wow what a shock that alcohol was involved. Just what do cows drink? Spiked milkshakes? Cream de minth? Hot Buttered Rum?

The report did not speculate as to why Allen was wearing the cow suit

Well besides the obvious, alcohol. Maybe she had some bad childhood experiences (everyone else uses that excuse). She might have been tipped over a lot as a kid. Or maybe she grew up next to a slaughterhouse. This story would make more sense if she was from WI and not OH. If she was from WI I'd just assume she was a Cheesehead who was upset that Brett Favre left the Packers.

This is no Bull. I wouldn’t Steer you wrong. I don’t want to Cow you into liking this post. I guess I've Milked this story for all it's worth, sorry I couldn't do Butter. You have probably Herd enough. I guess this story wasn't the Cream of the crop. I'll MOOve on now. I guess you aren't in the MOOed for more so I'll stop now. I promise I won't Udder another word.

I gotta admit it really is a sweet looking cow suit

Move Over Chubby Hubby

it's time for our newest flavors from Ben and Jerry's, Lactating Lady, Boobie Bonanza and Milky Momma.

PETA asks Ben & Jerry's to use breast milk

MONTPELIER, Vt. (AP) — Ice cream made from breast milk? That's what the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants Ben & Jerry's Homemade Ice Cream to consider making.

The Virginia-based nonprofit group sent a letter to company co-founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield on Tuesday asking them to use human breast milk instead of cow's milk in their products.

PETA said the health of consumers and cows would benefit from the switch.

Ben & Jerry's spokesman Rob Michalak said the company applauds PETA's creative approach to bring attention to an issue, but believes that a mother's milk is best used by a child.

Now I would normally ignore anything coming from PETA but this was just too good to pass up. I realize that PETA knows it's not realistic for Ben and Jerry's to switch from cow's milk to human breast milk and that they are just tyring to make a point. Even they have to realize that it would take a few million Pamela Anderson's to replace all the cow's milk that they use in ice cream.

I Hate the Color Lime

Isn’t that what color green and pink make? I think it is. I was never good at figuring that out in grade school. I was too busy eating paste or sticking erasers up my nose or trying not to get beat up during recess.

Any who, I now hate both of those colors. I cringe every time I see them on TV or in a magazine add Those colors now make me see red. It didn’t use to be so. I used to like pink and green. Heck I have a few pink shirts in the closet (I’ve got 11 kids so back off). Now I don’t know if I can ever wear them again. And every spring I have green grass for a few weeks before the kids destroy the yard.

Let me explain.

It’s this whole ‘let’s jump on the Green (environmental) and Pink (cancer) bandwagons’ that’s drive me nuts. Disclaimer: it’s not that I want people to get cancer or the earth to get trashed. Everyone wants a cure for cancer. We all have family and friends that have died from cancer.

Pink is everywhere. Pink football jerseys, major league baseball players using pink bats, Obama pledging to paint the White House pink if he wins, pink ribbons, pink t-shirts, pink Dell laptops, pink IPod and cell phone holders, there is even a whole line of pink running gear.

And the purchase of these Pink products helps cancer research, supposedly. How much of the actual purchase price actually goes to cancer research and what groups are getting the money? Are those groups doing legitimate research? Or are their research procedures and groups they grant money to, doing things contrary to Catholic Moral teachings? Like the Susan G Komen group (donors to Planned Parenthood and supports embryonic stem-cell research).

The final straw was an ad for Oakley sunglasses in my latest running magazine. Pink Oakley’s with a portion of the proceeds going to cancer research. Another “look at how great and caring our company is” advertisement.

The companies that are suddenly ‘Green’ are driving me crazy too. Maybe it’s good business but it just strikes me as self-serving and insincere. Is anyone falling for it? I’ll take some dirty unshaven hippy tree huggers over these corporate phonies any day. I expect it from hairy-legged, granola eating women in a VW bus. But not from Wal-Mart, Bank of America and IBM and every other company that is slapping green all over themselves and shouting it as loud as they can.

These companies put in a few solar panels and some Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs and say look at how great we are. Ok maybe every little bit helps, and saving energy and money is a good thing. But this ‘look at how great we are attitude’ is nauseating. “Don’t let the left-hand now what the right-hand is doing”.

Man I should have bought stock in Green and Pink paint companies. I bet they are doing better than Lehman Brothers, AIG and Fannie Mae stock.

Well if you can’t beat them join them. I’m going to change the background of this blog to Pink and for every hit this site gets I’m going to donate a penny to the makers of the “Save the TaTa’s” bumper stickers. And in order to be Green I promise to never whack a baby seal in the head with a baseball bat unless the seal attacks first or tries to steal my running shoes. And I will never again eat Spotted Owl…they taste like chicken anyway…

Time to Get a New Hobbie People?

The Italian Association for Defense of Animals and the Environment, which has a white bunny logo, has started an online petition signed by nearly 1,900 people asking Pope Benedict to stop wearing ermine on his hats and robes.

Come on the ermine looks like a white weasel. If I want to see a weasel I'll just go visit The Donk. Aren't there some baby seals or whales that need saving instead?

Leave his Holiness alone dudes. He's got a whole lot of other things to worry about, like whether or not the Sign of Peace is a pinko-commie plot (it is). Plus I think the lid looks pretty cool on him.

Petitioners gave their reasons for signing on the Web site.

“The pope has a cat he loves a lot, so why doesn't he use it for one of his capes?” wrote one of the petitioners, who signed as Sergio Porcelli from Ercolano, near Naples.

Not a bad idea. "I thought I saw a puddy cat"

Soy Will Ruin Your Love Life

Soy Linked to Infertility

WEDNESDAY, July 23 (HealthDay News) -- Eating half a serving of soy food a day lowers sperm concentrations and may play a role in male infertility, particularly in obese men, Harvard University researchers report.

We've been down this Soy is Bad road before.

So I can eat tofu, soy milk (how in the heck do you milk a soy bean? do the beans have teats?) and risk losing my Man-Card or I can stick with steak, ribs, sausage etc...and stay a whole man.



This might explain the abundance of kids we have, since we are a soy-free house. Well other than soy sauce. I was on a toe-cheese, I mean tofu, kick around 15 years ago...it lasted about 2 weeks.

No matter how much sauce or flavoring I put on the tofu it still tasted like The Donk's old running shoes. Yes, that bad.

So according to the two latest studies, soy will make you lose your mind and not be able to um...you know (yeah I know the article mentions infertility not dysfunction - allow me a little fun please). On the bright-side, at least if your memory is gone you might not even remember that you ever could do the other thing.

I'm having a hard time deciding which one below to have for supper; the scrumptious steak or the block of tofu that looks like the modeling clay my kids use to make spiffy Christmas gifts with. Actually I'm sure the modeling clay tastes better than the tofu. I base this on the fact that the paste I used to eat in kindergarten tasted better than tofu.

There are around 25 other reasons not to eat soy

To quote Mikes Hard Lemonade Commercials "We don't do Soy"

Meat Eaters Rejoice

Tofu causes dementia

Eating high levels of some soy products - including tofu - may raise the risk of memory loss, research suggests.

The study focused on 719 elderly Indonesians living in urban and rural regions of Java.

The researchers found high tofu consumption - at least once a day - was associated with worse memory, particularly among the over-68s.

I knew that hippie tree-hugger food was bad for you. Besides tofu tastes like toe-cheese. Don't ask me how I know what toe-cheese tastes like. It was a long time ago and involved alcohol and a triple-dog-dare. Plus I never could eat tofu because I always felt so bad for the poor soybeans that had to die to make it.

If the choice is between a heart-attack and Dementia, I'll take the heart-attack and enjoy my meals in the meantime.

So go eat a nice big fat juicy steak!!! It tastes like spotted owl with a hint of snail darter.

Yeah Yeah I know it doesn't say to rush out and eat red meat - I'm reading between the lines. Don't be such a buzz-kill people...sheesh.