Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Today's Workouts

13 mile run at lunch time in Saucony Tangents 3's (sweet shoes) in just a tad bit of heat. Around 88 at noon and humid which is just about normal for us.

Why I Don't Tweet on Twitter

"Cause, what the world needs now
Is another folk singer
Like I need a hole in my head"


I decided to keep track of random thoughts throughout the day, you know the kind that people throw up on Twitter. Just to see what it would be like if I did use Twitter.

• 7:23am – eating a fried egg and cheese sandwich and wishing I had made coffee too
• 8:06am – at work and bored already
• 9.32am – if you aren’t suppose to stick Q-Tips in your ears, where are you supposed to stick them?
• 9:47 – First Farrah Fawcett then Michael Jackson die, who’s next? The Fonz
• 11:30am – heading out for a 7 mile run on the trails
• 11:47am – running in the mud is awesome
• 12:47pm 2 cans of sardines and a pack of Scooby Doo fruit chews make a decent lunch in a pinch
• 1:14pm – gotta go check my killer blog and see if anyone left a comment on one of my witty posts
• 1:58pm – 6 cups of coffee a day makes you have to pee quite a bit
• 2:32pm – I wonder if we have any banana pudding at home? Its really good when it has that skin on top
• 2:53pm - Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
• 3:00pm – 1 hour tele-conference meeting. someone shoot me in the face
• 3:03pm – my toenails look like hell
• 3:12pm – the NBA Draft was on TV the other night, who actually watches that?
• 3:22pm – business meetings are like being pecked to death by chickens
• 4:07pm – driving home from work is much better now that the public schools have let out. It would be nice if they stayed closed permanently
• 5:52pm – Sam looks really hot pregnant
• 6:17pm – when are these kids going to bed?
• 6:49pm – I wonder if Sam wants to makeout?
• 7:14pm – Finally the little darlings are in bed
• 7:28pm – I bet I could sell my old Farrah poster on Ebay for a pretty penny
• 8:18pm – there sure are a lot of different choices in feminine hygiene products. And why are there commercials for them on ESPN?
• 9:04pm – I can’t believe how much time I wasted tweeting on Twitter…I better bring my Blackberry to bed in case I think of something else to say in the middle of the night

And that my friends is why I don't Tweet. Who wants to read that garbage all day long? What's that you say? How is that different from my blog? Um...I'll get back to you that...

Monday, June 29, 2009

Today's Workouts

A 7.5 mile trail run during lunch time while wearing my Asics Trail Attack running shoes. The trails have pretty much dried up from all that rain we had this month. So there weren’t as many fun puddles to run through. Also wildlife was a bit scarce today. I saw 1 woodchuck, 1 deer and numerous Bushy-Tailed Rats (which some people insist on calling squirrels). I did kill one horsefly that was annoying me.


In the "You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up" department. Here is how the feds are using more of your stolen tax dollars.

President Obama will sign into law a program NHTSA is calling the Car Allowance Rebate System (CARS). This is a government program that helps you purchase a new, more fuel efficient vehicle when you trade in a less fuel efficient vehicle.

See the website if you want all the details. But I’ll give you a few.
You can get a $3,500 - $4,500 credit on the purchase of a new car (if its fuel efficient enough) when you trade in an old car that gets low gas mileage.

What happens to the cars that are traded in? Will Obama be running a used car lot out of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave? Do you get to try and bargain him down on the price of "84 Chevy Citation and demand that he Show You the Carfax? While that would be hilarious and a much better use of his time, here is what the new law says: “...crushing or shredding of an eligible trade-in vehicle...” They are going to be destroyed it appears.

So I could take my well-running '98 Suburban and trade it in and the government will give me $4,500 dollars that they stole from y'all to but towards buying a SmartCar or Prius or Camry etc....Then they are going to take a perfectly fine Suburban and crush it like certain South Carolina governor's presidential dreams.

How much $$$$ is available for this program? “There is hereby appropriated to the Secretary of Transportation $1,000,000,000, of which up to $50,000,000 is
available for administration, to remain available until expended to
carry out this section.” So the Feds are going to spend up to a Billion dollars to try and get the new Obama Motors cars to sell.

Hey if you are planning to ditch your old clunker for a new car you might as well look into the program. The government is going to go broke sooner rather than later so you might as well reap some benefits. And it’s not like its real money; they are just borrowing it from the Chinese and have no intention or ability to pay it off anyway.

But you need to hurry; this program ends November 1st 2009. Well that is until they extend it or come up with another hair-brain scheme to sell their unwanted cars.

Can someone please find the clause in the Constitution that allows the federal government to give kickbacks to people who trade in a car? Or in keeping with the times that the Constitution was written, trade in a horse and buggy for a model that eats less hay.

And if this is allowed under the Constitution can I get some money for the old washing machine I just got rid of? The new one I bought uses less electricity and water. I should get two kickbacks for that.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Billy Mays - RIP

Billy Mays hawker of OxiClean, Mighty Putty, the Awesome Auger, Simoniz Fix It, the Quick Chop and lots of other Chinese gadgets and gizmos that Americans can't seem to do without...Died today at the age of 50.
He's probably in front of the pearly gates right now trying to sell St. Peter a whole lot of OxiClean for the angels robes.
RIP Billy!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

What Religon is Your Bra?

A primer on bra's for men. Credit for this goes to my bride even though she will be ticked-off that I gave her credit.

What Religion is Your Bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the
woman behind the counter and said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.'

'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'

'Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape,
size, color and material imaginable.

'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of
bras to choose...'

Relieved, the man asked about the types.

The saleslady replied:
'There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist
types. Which one would you prefer?'

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple... '

The Catholic type supports the masses.

The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen.

The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright.

And the Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used
to define bra sizes?

If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it
is about time you became informed!

{A} Almost Boobs...

{B} Barely there..

{C} Can't Complain!

{D} Dang!

{DD} Double dang!

{E} Enormous!

{F} Fake.

{G} Get a Reduction.

{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up !

They forgot the German bra.


Friday, June 26, 2009

Today's Workouts

12 hot and muggy miles on the trails through the woods wearing my Asics Trail Attack shoes. Saw 2 wood chucks, 1 black squirrel, a woodpecker, numerous mosquitoes and horseflies and 4 deer. One of the deer was a buck with only one antler. I stopped for a minute to check out the deer and the buck just stared at me with a look that said “yeah I have one missing antler. So what? You should see the other guy plus I have 3 doe’s with me”

Pet Peeve Phriday

Wearing hats sideways and droopy pants.

Ok so maybe I’m old but I can’t stand when people (mainly punk teens) wear their baseball hats sideways. I have, after many years, gotten used to kids wearing them backwards. But the folks that wear them at an angle look like a bunch of trailer-park trash morons and most of them confirm that description when they open their mouths to speak. These are the same yahoo’s who were the baggy jeans that are hanging halfway down their butts. Don't you just want to yank them up and staple-gun them to their hips?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Michael Jackson - RIP

While, like Farrah, I didn't have a poster of MJ on my wall growing up, I did enjoy his music. Especially his music with the Jackson 5 and his early solo music.

Despite his well publicized scandals and peculiarities, I’m saddened by his death. He was an incredibly talented singer and dancer. In the 80’s he was as big as Elvis had been at his climax. He was part of the background of my life up during my teen years. And unlike a whole lot of music videos, his actually had something to do with the song lyrics.

And as Mike Drabik so correctly reminded me on my Farrah post

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon them.
May the souls of the faithful departed,
through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

Today's Workouts

"I've been swimming in a sea of anarchy
I've been living on coffee and nicotine"

Sheryl Crow

24.36 mile run early this morning. Headed out at 5am to beat a bit of the heat and humidity that is slowly rolling in here. At mile 18 I hit the local High School's track to run on a soft surface for a few miles. Those were my fasted miles - and I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that the Cheerleading Camp girls were jogging on the track at the same time...I mean its not like I'm a show-off or anything...

Farrah Fawcett Dead at 62

RIP - Farrah Fawcett

She was my first crush (sorry hunny - hey it could be worse. I could be a SC Governor who likes to disappear to Argentine). I had the bathing suit poster of her up on my bedroom wall as a young lad and Charlie's Angels was must watch TV.

Remember it's all about the hair.

Cigarettes, Whisky and Wild, Wild Women

No that's not a title for a new FOX show, it's what the world's current oldest living man, Henry Allingham of England, attributes (somewhat tongue in cheek) his longevity too. Mr. Allingham celebrated his 113th birthday on June 6th.

And no hunny I'm not planning to follow Mr. Allingham's advice for a long life...at least not at this time...But why is that governments try and limit and/or ban all the fun things....cigarettes, booze, riding a motorcycle without a helmet? If they want to be useful why not ban the truly dangerous things: rap 'music', Cher concerts, reality shows, Oprah etc....

From The Independent -

"Having spent 113 years and 14 days on this earth, Henry Allingham is used to breaking records.

He is one of three British men still alive who actively served in the First World War, is the last surviving founder of the Royal Air Force, has long held the record for being the oldest man in Europe and earlier this year he became Britain's most ancient man ever after overtaking John Evans, a Welsh former coal miner who died in 1990 aged 112 years and 295 days.

But when Mr Allingham woke up yesterday morning at St Dunstan's care home for blind ex-service personnel, in Ovingdean, near Brighton, the supercentenarian was informed that he had suddenly achieved the highest age-related accolade for men.

Tomoji Tanabe, a Japanese retired civil engineer, had died peacefully in his sleep overnight. He was 113 years' and 274 days' old and had more than 50 great-grandchildren. Having foregone alcohol and cigarettes all his life, Tanabe had became the world's oldest man in January 2007.

That mantle has now passed to Mr Allingham – the first time a British person has ever held such a title.

A St Dunstan's spokesman said that the oldest man on Earth greeted the news by simply returning to bed after breakfast for a celebratory nap."

See the rest of the story here

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Today's Workouts

6.04 mile run at lunch time on the roads. Its warming up a bit here - I was drenched in sweat at the end of the run. Wore one of my many pairs of Asics DS Trainers.

Welcome to the USSA

"You grow up and you calm down
You're working for the clampdown
You start wearing the blue and brown
You're working for the clampdown
So you got someone to boss around
It makes you feel big now
You drift until you brutalize
You made your first kill now

~The Clash

Sure I'm beating a dead horse. But hey it's fun. Yet another story of how we are sliding towards a police state. Sure its minor (just like all the other incidents and laws that are happening). But they are slowly adding up. Very slowly. Just like the proverbial frog being boiled in a pot of water.

Warning some potty language in the CNN story.

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Steve Bierfeldt says the Transportation Security Administration pulled him aside for extra questioning in March. He was carrying a pocket edition of the U.S. Constitution and an iPhone capable of making audio recordings. And he used them.

On a recording a TSA agent can be heard berating Bierfeldt. One sample: "You want to play smartass, and I'm not going to play your f**king game."

Bierfeldt is director of development for the Campaign for Liberty, an outgrowth of the Ron Paul presidential campaign. He was returning from a regional conference March 29 when TSA screeners at Lambert-St. Louis (Missouri) International Airport saw a metal cash box in his carry-on bag. Inside was more than $4,700 dollars in cash -- proceeds from the sale of political merchandise like T-shirts and books.

Read the rest of the lovely tale here

Good for you Mr. Bierfeldt. Most passengers would have just rolled over for the TSA Nazis. I feel so much safer flying these days with these joyous Brown Shirts harassing, feeling-up, confiscating dangerous items (like hand sanitizer and nail clippers) and just generally intimidating us regular Joe's. I'm so glad the Feds are spending billions of Our tax dollars on these goons to help keep us safe.

And no I didn't post this because Bierfeldt is helping to support my boy Ron Paul.....well at least that's not the whole reason.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

If it's the 20th of the Month

It must be Date Night or Date Day and yeah I know it's the 23rd but we were busy over the weekend.

Working from home today and lots of activities going on tonight, so lunch at the local Italian Grille. Fried Calamari for starters. Caesar salad and pizza for my bride and shrimp scampi for myself.

Today's Workouts

12.16 mile run this morning wearing my Saucony Tangent running shoes. The weather this morning was fantastic - mostly sunny around 70 and with the humidity not miserable.

RIP Ed McMahon

Alas even though he never saw fit to show up at my door and give me a $5 million dollar check from Publishers Clearing House, you will still be missed. You were a great wing-man for Carson.

Kids Running Amock

"Yeah runnin down a dream
That never would come to me
Workin on a mystery, goin wherever it leads
Im runnin down a dream"

~Tom Petty

Truxton Park Triathlon - Father's Day Morning
Joey (11) and Robert (9) did a kid's tri the other morning. I got them up bright and early - 5:30am - and we headed over to Annapolis.
The race was a 100 meter swim, 4 mile bike and a 1 mile run. The results still aren't posted so I don't know their times or how they placed but both did a great job and had a blast. Here are some pics from the day.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Today's Workouts

7 muddy trail miles wearing my Asics Trail Attack shoes. Which are now virtually unrecognizable as shoes, they have so much mud on them. :)

Saw 3 deer, 1 woodchuck, 1 owl (what was he doing up during the day. Worry about the economy going down the crapper) and 1 stinking squirrel.

My Fathers Day Goodies

So I made out like the only dame at a sailors convention. Besides being surrounded by my loving family...I got a bunch of loot too (all of it deserved of course).

My oldest child gave me the following t-shirts - don't know were she got this impression of me ;)

My bride gave me this t-shirt...and yes...she got a matching one...man we are going to look like dorks. I hope she doesn't make me wear them out in public. She probably has some couples retreat/encounter group lined up for us to go to together. You know, one of those things where you have to talk about stuff like your relationship and feelings.....lead by some middle-age touchy-feely ex-hippies who are more screwed up them I am......I get the chills and nauseous just thinking about it.

And no gift giving occasion would be complete with out some new running kicks.

For those keeping score at home: The blue and white running shoes are Asics DS-Trainer 14's and the red and white ones are Mizuno Wave Runner 12's
Shoe review to follow in a few weeks.

I also received some cash from one of my kids (one who actually works) to buy running shoes. And a veggie chopper (so I can cook more for my wife?) and some Epsom salts to soak my sore dogs in.

As an added bonus two of my boys did a kids Triathlon Father's Day morning...post on that tomorrow...

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Saturday, June 20, 2009

The Nanny State is Alive and Well

By U.S. News & World Report
At age 18, Americans become eligible to vote, enter the military, serve on a jury and marry without parental consent, in most states. But starting in February 2010, there will be one less opportunity with that milestone: getting a credit card.

On May 22, President Barack Obama signed into law the Credit Card Accountability, Responsibility and Disclosure Act of 2009. The bill restricts credit card issuers from raising interest rates without warning, penalizing customers who pay on time and levying excessive fees.

There's also a provision that specifically concerns young people: Under the new law, no one under age 21 can get a credit card unless a parent, guardian or spouse is willing to co-sign or unless the young adult has proof of sufficient income to cover the credit obligations.

So at 18 you are an adult and can decide what is best for you... or maybe not. The Feds are telling adults and the banks (who they have by the cojones due to the idiots at the banks accepting bailouts) that you can't have a credit card until you are 21. Why 21? Why not 20 or 25 or 30? There are plenty of 40 something people who can't handle credit cards. What is it with the government and their arbitrary ages they assign to what you can and can not do.

I swear each day this country gets more and more like the old Soviet Union. At 18 you can enlist in the army and get sent overseas to fight in a war but you better not apply for a credit card until you start making a sufficient income - whatever that may be.

Never mind that that's 3 more years that 18 year old's have to wait until they can start building credit history. Good luck to all you college graduates in trying to lease an apartment or buy a car upon graduation. When our oldest turned 18 last year I took her to my bank and had her open a checking account and get a credit card. She's now had the credit card 18 months and has had no problems handling the responsibility. She pays off the balance each month and there are no charges on her statements from "Tribal Piercings and Tattoos" or "Ajax Liquors".

Well at least you at 18 you can still get tattooed and buy a pack of smokes.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Today's Workouts

11 miles on some real muddy trails - it was fabulous.

Pet Peeve Phriday


Did you get that? Yeah me neither. See below for the 'translation'.

Today's pet peeve is the lack of people (myself very much included) being able to write in coherent complete sentences due to emailing, IMing, texting, face booking, blogging and now tweeting.

People, mainly young people but older peeps too, have gotten way to used to to using abbreviations. Colleges and employers are complaining that finding young people who can write a good essay or business memo are scarce. No one it seems, except old women, write letters to people any more.

As Tigger would say, TTFN (Ta Ta For Now). I guess Tigger was the guy that started all this abbreviation stuff.

*Dear Friend how are you today?
Me? Help! I'm Out Of Coffee. Don't Go Anywhere I'll Be Back Later. Got To Go Pee.

God Loves You And So Do I

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Give the Prez a Break

Now I think y'all know how I feel about The Messiah Wannabe in Chief and politician's in general. And I can't believe I'm going to stick up for one of those Washington leaches, but....Did y'all see this on the news?

WASHINGTON (AP) - The group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants the flyswatter in chief to try taking a more humane attitude the next time he's bedeviled by a fly in the White House.

PETA is sending President Barack Obama a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher, a device that allows users to trap a house fly and then release it outside.

"We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals," PETA spokesman Bruce Friedrich said Wednesday. "We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals."
Are you people freaking serious? Don't you have something better to do? Like playing with poisonous snakes or with matches? Or running with a fork maybe?

I got to give The "O" credit for getting that fly. He's kinda like Ralph Macchio in the Karate Kid cathcing that fly with chop sticks.

What is PETA going to want next? The Whitehouse staff to catch mosquitoes and release them at a swamp. Maybe humanly trap Whitehouse mice and rats (there are plenty I'm sure) and then let them go at the capitol building where no one will be able to tell the difference between the senators, congressmen and the rodents?

I for one am going to go out of my way to kill all the flies I can this summer. With the number of times the little darlings leave the doors open, I should have plenty of game to hunt. Come on people we are talking about FLIES people! FLIES! You can legally jab a needle into a partially born baby's head and kill it but we shouldn't swat FLIES? I sure hope there is a special place in hell for people like this.

I've had just about enough out of these tofu and bean sprout eating, spotted owl tongue-kissing fly-huggers, to last about a life time. Now if you will excuse me the charcoal on my grill is hot and I need to go cook up some dead animal flesh for supper.

Today's Workouts

I know y'all have been missing my daily updates on my running...really I know. You can pretend you don't care. But I know you do. Your lack of comments inquiring about my workouts aren't fooling me at all. I know y'all are out there...lurking...just waiting for me to post a running workout update. :P)

Any who here is what I did today. 22.43 mile long run in the pouring rain. Lighting during miles 10 thru 15. Yes I considered stopping but it seemed to be getting further away. Assuming counting 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi etc...is reliable. Besides I have tons life insurance, Sam would be set.

And have no fear, just because I haven't been boring y'all with my workouts doesn't mean that I haven't been running everyday, because I have. Just ask my bride who has to smell all those sweaty running clothes that are perfuming our bathroom while the sweat dries out of them.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Pet Peeve Phriday

(the return of pet peeve phriday - so Jo doesn't have to do laundry)

People who can't make change or do simple math without some type of computer.

Go to any retail store, especially fast-food places, and everything is computerized. Now this is not a bad thing in and of itself. It makes sales lines move along faster and its more accurate. But heaven help the store employees if the power goes out. The stores practically shut down.

As a test, next time you are paying for something change the amount of cash you are giving the cashier AFTER they have punched in the amount and the computer has told them the amount your change should be. If the total bill is $17.21 at first just give them a $20.....after they have let the computer tell them the amount of change, give them 21 cents and see if they can actually figure it out in they head.

Heck at fast food places they don't even have numbers for the cashiers punch in, they have pictures of the food.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The 2012 Pelosi GTxi SS/RT Sport Edition

If you feel so empty
So used up, so let down
If you feel so angry
So ripped off, so stepped on

You're not the only one
Refusing to back down
You're not the only one
So get up

Let's start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot

Three Days Grace

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Vote Early and Vote Often

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
when you're perfect in every way
Mac Davis/Kenny Rogers

Apparently I've been nominated for a Catholic Media Award for Best Blog. Shockingly I was not nominated for the Most Spiritual Blog award (although my Bride was). I was nominated in two different categories "Funniest Blog" and "Most Entertaining Blog".

I would love to act humble and say that I'm surprised and undeserving of these awards. But I'd be kidding myself and you. Of course I deserve and want the award. I hope its a Major Award.....like maybe a Leg Lamp or Leg Warmers or a Leg of Lamb or a Leg Tattoo or a Leg Waxing or a Leg Up. Or maybe new running shoes....no that's too much to ask I guess.

Voting Starts next week so go to the website and VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!

And to those who nominated me, thanks the check is in the mail.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Chia Obama

I just ordered a case of them for the boys to use for target practice with their BB g.u.n.s.

Loving the green fro.