Tipping Thursday

Twilight Tuesday

Sure its an easy target to mock but it's still fun to do 

Demotivational Monday

Because the weekend is over and Mondays are just horrendous at times

Saturday Silliness

Tipping Thursday

Saturday Silliness

Feeling Old Friday

Tipping Thursday

Drive Thru Ashes at Church?! Really?!

Ohio church offers drive-thru for Ash Wednesday

CINCINNATI (AP) - An Ohio church is offering a drive-thru Ash Wednesday blessing for parishioners pressed for time or reluctant to come inside the church for the Lenten observance.
The Rev. Patricia Anderson Cook of Mt. Healthy United Methodist Church in suburban Cincinnati offered the ashes Wednesday evening for people of all faiths beginning around 5 p.m. in the church parking lot.......

Is this what we have come to? What's next drive thru confession? Communion? Maybe a quick shot with a squirt gun and call it a Baptism. Yo Padre I'll have the #3 combo - Absolution with a rosary on the side, and make that absolution a super-size cause mardi gras was a hum-dinger. And could you hurry up I gotta get home and watch Oprah reruns.

I gotta admit that I didn't know churches other than us Catholics did the ash thing. But the total tonnage of things I don't know is enough to fill the grand canyon or one of Roseanne Barr's dresses.

Be that as it may, is this what it has come to? Drive thru church? Are we really that busy that we can't get out of the car and go into the church for ashes? How long would it take for this chick playing church to actually trace a cross on someone's forehead, assuning it wasn't Herman Munster's.What is so important that we have to get on down the road for? See who Kim Kardashian is sleeping with this week? What drug Lindsy Lohan got busted for? Hit Starsux for a $6 Frappuccino Caramel Macchiato Mocha Soy Latte with skim milk of course. Turn on the news to see what civil right the Obama administration has violated now? (here's a clue, all of them have been violated by him)

This is almost as bad as the long lines at the McDonald's near our house. The drive-thru is bumper-to-bumper out to the road and the parking lot is empty. Hey people it would actually be faster to get your super-sized lard-butts OUT of the car, walk in, order, get your grease, and walk back to the car. At least you will burn a few calories and save a few quarters, no make that dollars (can't drill for new oil or import it from Canada in the land of the free), worth of gas.

Sigh, I am getting too old. When I was young I would have considered things like this just silly and something to be mocked. Maybe get in the car with some buddies and grab a few beers, drive thru the right Reverend Patricia's Ashes to Go r' Us (does she have a large black cross in the parking lot instead of golden arches?) and gotten my head tattooed up and told Patty she had a nice ash. Now instead of laughing it off it actually angers me......I am only one step away from being the old guy that sits on the front porch and yells at the neighborhood kids to get off his lawn and curses at the teens driving by in their rice-burners with the bass booming while playing their rap "music"

 Rev Pattie-kins finger painting foreheads....hey where has that finger been? And is she using the middle finger?

Priest Gives Obama's Mandate "The Finger"

Saw this on Danielle Bean's site first. Enjoy ;)

This Is Why I No Longer Wear An iPod

ps-You know that it's not really me, right? I wouldn't be caught dead in a Starsux...or live for that matter

Harvard names a restroom after an interesting alum donation

WASHINGTON - Professional sports teams often play in stadiums emblazoned with corporate monikers, but there's a new trend in the sale of naming rights: bathroom stalls.
A growing number of colleges and universities are getting some financial relief by naming restrooms after people who make large donations. Even the Harvard Law School now has a restroom named after alum.
William Falik, a Harvard Law School graduate, donated $100,000 to his alma mater. And yes, the pronunciation is exactly the same as the term used in Freudian psychology....." 

What a great new way for schools to get more money, as if the $50,000 a year Harvard charges wasn't enough, got a potty or body part for a name? Get a can named after you. What's next? The sink? Toilet Paper holders (that would seem appropriate at some colleges-stock them with the diplomas)? How about the Tampon machines? The Bertha Butz toilet seat. Ugo's Urinal. Paula's Plunger.


Every John, Dick and Harry must be rejoicing. Not to mention the Peters, Johnson's and Butkas'.

I wonder if you have to use your own name. Or could I have a urinal named after someone else? Like the name a star scam. Who you ask....oh I don't know who....maybe something like the Pelosi Potty.....or the Clinton Crapper....the Obama Outhouse......just thinking out loud. Or how about:: the Newt Necessary......the Romney Restroom.....the Santorum Shi...on second thought Santorum sounds like an euphemism for a bathroom all by itself.

Vintange Ads Part 3

Lose weight and clean the house at the same...It's a win-win...for husbands...


Go ahead and annoy the 50% of the population that actually purchase sweaters


I see the company was too afraid to put their name on the ad


Like anyone is actually looking at her slide-show


Yes we men are like that

14 nails?! She cooking with her toes too?


You could run ads like that in the 60's?

More Vintage Ads from the Good Old Days

Husbands you too can have a perky wife

All that sugar is ok if she's taking her PEP vitamins

You needs sugar and vitamins if you have cocaine tooth drops

A Subaru? Really? Maybe it would be fun if you loaded up on PEP vitamins, sugar and cocaine drops

I wonder how much therapy that kid needed as an adult

I promise to never drive alone again. I wonder what De Fuhrer likes to listen to on the radio

Of course she can, she's hopped-upped on cocaine

The New Marlboro Man

Indonesia's smoking toddler kicks habit

JAKARTA (AFP) – A two-year-old Indonesian boy who smoked about 40 cigarettes a day has kicked the habit after receiving intensive specialist care, a child welfare official said Thursday.

Ardi Rizal shocked the world when a video of him drawing heavily on cigarettes appeared on the Internet in May and drew attention to Indonesia's failure to regulate the tobacco industry.


Read the rest of the story here


Now I thought about getting all high and mighty and preachy, but this is how I spent my lunch hour with my 3 year-old toddler, Eric. After taking him to the tattoo parlor we hit McDonald's



Now I know eating at McDonald's isn't the same as smoking-not done daily and maybe not as unhealthy as smoking. But we all know that stuff they call food isn't really food and it surely isn't healthy. And I don't eat there everyday, in fact that is probably the second or third time I have been to a McDonald's this year. Yet lots of people eat there regularly and look like it. They are fatter then the smoking porker in the story. So I find it amusing that fat western society is criticizing Indonesia for their smoking policies. I don't know but something about removing the plank from their own eyes comes to mind.

My kids also happen to be very active so they can get away with eating junk food on occasion. Unlike the fat kids and their fat parents who spend most of their time in front of the TV, Video games and computer screen.

When I was at McDonald's today there was no one in line inside for food yet there were a dozen cars waiting in line for the drive-thru. Those people could have parked their cars, waddled a whopping 25 yards inside, gotten their food and been back in their cars and on their way in half the time. But I don't think it even occurs to people to actually walk somewhere when they can drive.

Schools are open now and I run in the mornings when the little darlings are getting to school. The number of parents that drive their kids a block or two is amazing. And I'm not talking about 6 year-old kids crossing major roads. I'm talking about upper elementary and middle-school kids in safe neighborhoods. On quiet roads that have sidewalks. Is it really necessary that you drive your "little" darlings a quarter mile down the road on a lovely morning?

As for me and my house, we shall keep the kids active; scrubbing toilets, playing sports, hand-washing my running clothes, changing the baby's and cleaning the lint out of my belly-button. Cause I don't want Eric to grow-up to be this guy.

Update to Today's Earlier Post

For Karen-
Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!

Laura-that is great that your hubby is running and I love your eye doctor.

We were at the ER last Friday when Mary broke her leg. Mary, who is 6, tells the nurse who is putting the temporary splint on her leg "and sometimes when my dad is mad he says he's gonna rip our face off". I am expecting Social Services any day now.

I heard "I'm gonna rip your face off" daily growing up and so have my kids now.

Fortunately the nurse was a young girl who was one of six kids and thought it was hysterical

Politically Incorrect Day

Been up since 4:30 and I am in a feisty mode. Today is Global Forgiveness Day. Yeah I've never heard of it nor know what it is either. Sounds like some commie think that pantsuit wearing nuns came up with in the 70's. If I want forgiveness I just go sit in the penalty box at church on Saturday afternoons...a few Hail Mary's later and I am good to go.

In honor of Global Forgiveness Day I present the following jokes designed to offend all. And no I don't want your forgiveness.

Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar.

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment.

Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek ?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.

Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a recipe along with a description of the animal.

Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A. A northern fairytale begins, ...'Once upon a time...'
A southern fairytale begins, ... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh!t.'

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States

THE PERFECT HUSBAND

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: 'Hello'

WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?'

MAN: 'Yes'

WOMAN: 'I am at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000. Is it OK if I buy it?'

MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'

WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new Models. I saw one I really liked.'

MAN: 'How much?'

WOMAN: '$90,000'

MAN: 'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'

WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000'

MAN: 'Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $ 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 80 thousand if it's really a good deal.'

WOMAN: 'OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!'

MAN: 'Bye! I love you, too.'

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.

He turns and asks: 'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'

Sign of the Times?

Everyone Needs a Dug

I Hate Squirrels


The Squirrel gets dead.


I was Hiding Under Your Porch Because I Love You