Heard Around the House

The Mom to CeCe (4) "If you lick your sister's hippopotamus again I am putting soap in your mouth"

Eric (4) and Kolbe (2) standing around the potty going pee. Kolbe has just learned to go standing up like his big brothers and thinks he is cool. Both boys peeing at the same time and shouting "Fire in the hole!"

Life with Cecilia aka Hunter

Can be interesting at times to say the least

Pre-dinner conversation with Cecilia (age 3) last night

Cecilia (in the bathroom going potty) yelling "someone come wipe me"

Me "what did you go?"

Cecilia "I went pee"

Me "Then wipe yourself"

Cecilia "I don't want to have to wash my hands again before dinner so I want you to wipe me"

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Cecilia has out grown her naps, kinda. This basically means she is a monster most of the afternoon and then falls asleep right before dinner for an hour and then can't fall asleep at night until 10pm and is always coming downstairs and annoying us with requests for food, stories, a can of beer etc...



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Cecilia is going to the local public school system's special ed school two afternoons a week for a pre-school program for help with her speech - not that we really want to understand some of the things that come out of her mouth. And no that rather beefy woman is not Sam. She is the bus aide. And yes we actually put our precious little 3 year old on the short bus with that tattooed-up woman. For the record Cecilia did not try and bum a smoke from her.



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This morning for some unknown reason Cecilia decided to take a black marker (the permanent kind) and 'color' her momma's favorite family picture. On the plus side, at least she wasn't sniffing the marker. Cecilia would be the cute blonde kid in the lower right. And no it won't come off and yes maybe we should have replaced the glass...whatever



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Yet despite all this she can be incredibly cute at times.

Alice Cooper Wannabe

This is why she's known as 'Monster Baby' and 'Hunter'. Any questions?

Happy Birthday Cecilia

Cecilia aka 'Hunter' aka 'Monster Baby' aka 'Tinker Bell' is 3 day. It's been a long 3 years with this. She is the #10 child in the family and I'v pretty much decided that every 10th child is a lemon, so we are stopping at 19 kids for sure....

When Cecilia is happy she is great to be around but when she's not happy...watch out!!!

But I Don't Want to be a Fairy

Cecilia aka Hunter (2) is officially obsessed with Peter Pan, in particular with Tinker Bell. When you call her Cecilia or Hunter she says "No, I Tinker Bell".

So of course everyone in the house has to be a character from Peter Pan. You don't want to cross Hunter - it's not pretty. She will go savage on you.

So the standard question everyone has to ask Cecilia each morning is:

"Cecilia who am I today?"

The answer seems to depend on her mood.

Some days I'm 'Bad' Captain Hook. Sometimes I'm 'Good' Captain Hook or Peter Pan or even a Merman. But lots of times I'm "Boy Tinker Bell"!? Boy Tinker Bell? Is there such a thing? I mean outside of San Francisco.

I don't want to be a Boy Tinker Bell! I don't want to be this 'guy'! Heck I'd rather be Richard Simmons or even The Donk!!!

Daddy Poopy

So this afternoon Cecilia (2) says she has to go potty. This is a big deal since she is just getting the hang of this potty training thing.

I run her to the potty and she goes. When she’s done she gets off the pot and says “daddy poopy and baby poopy” and points into the toilet.

Sure enough there was a big one and a little one in the toilet. (no I did not take pictures)

I guess it’s ok if she compares me to pooh if it helps with the potty training.

I’m a Joker, I’m a Smoker, I’m a Midnight Toker...

...I sure don’t want to hurt no one.

Well except for the 12 pounds of ribs and the 4 pound pork roast I slow-cooked in the smoker for 6 hours yesterday. Yeah it’s a good size smoker. Heck a kid or two could smoke in it.

No not this kind of smoking.

This kind of smoking.

The Hunter has become the hunted

We cooked so much because we were expecting to have company over for dinner. But we couldn’t find anyone to play with. You’d think 11 kids fighting and yelling over the dinner table would be a big draw. We have cowards for friends.

I would have invited the Donk but everyone knows pigs and donkeys are distant cousins so it would have been like cannibalism. Plus it’s hard to eat ribs with hooves. And he's probably in his basement listening to his Queen 8-tracks and looking at his Freddy Mercury posters.

I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree
Stevie Miller

Mary Poppins - Everyone Should Have One

We have our very own Mary Poppins (well we share her with others – begrudgingly). You know the type. Always showing up at just the right time to help out…with the kids, meals, the house etc…they are the ones who, when someone has a baby or kicks the bucket, that organize the meals and make sure the house is running smoothly. They are the ones who when someone is in financial need, takes up collections and help them out. They are the back bone of communities, quietly going about doing good deeds.

We have our own extra special Mary Poppins – only hotter than Julie Andrews. Hunter (2) and Mary (4) love Mrs. Poppins. They think she exists to play with them. MP will show up at just the right times. Usually it’s when Sam is in the middle of school lesson with the other kids and Mary and Hunter are distracting everyone and in danger of bodily harm. Poppins will take them to run errands or to McDonalds or to her house to play. But it doesn’t really matter where they go or what they are doing with her, just the fact that they are with ‘their’ Mary Poppins is enough to make their day.

Mr. Poppins is also a great help to our family (and I’m not just saying that because he reads this blog). Joey has gotten many a ride to and from baseball practices/games thanks to him. Whether he is naturally nice or just doing it because he’s afraid of his wife like all good husbands are is irrelevant. Either way we win.

I must admit I’m a little leery of Mary Poppins’ niceness. It’s always the quiet nice ones who turn out to be the axe murderers and serial killers. You watch the news and they are interviewing the next door neighbors of someone who just offed his whole family. The neighbors always say something like "he was such a nice quiet fellow".

I also love when they interview the neighbors of someone who just died in a car accident or some other tragic way. The neighbor always says something like "it’s such a shame, he was great lovable fellow". Just once I want a neighbor to say something like ‘he was a no good scoundrel. He got what he deserved’.

Um, where was I? Oh yeah...Mary Poppins.

MP thanks for all you do for our family. We love you.

Mr. Poppins you might want to hide any axes that you own…just in case.

Well Scratch Me Behind the Ears and Call Me Sparky

It's a new grill.

My honey (Sam not the UPS Man) got me a new grill for our Anniversary the other day.

My old gas grill bit the dust over the winter. It was a bigger fire hazard than a government housing project. I decided to switch to charcoal. I have enough gas already, just ask my wife. Plus I was thinking that switching from gas to charcoal would give me some more man-points. I mean the baby is 9 months old and Sam is not pregnant yet. She hasn’t actually said anything yet, but I know that secretly she is questioning my manhood. Darn tight spandex bike shorts.

It’s the mother of all grills. Many a critter will meet their demise on it this summer.

The Beverly Hillbillies got nothing on us

Now That's a Fire! Roll Cecilia around, she be alright.

Get off my grill little girl

No actual animals were hurt in the production of this post

There Hasn't Been a Jail Built That Can Hold Me

Elmer's Glue, a Sharpie, a Two Year Old and a Shower

As I was returning from my early morning bike ride yesterday morning Sam was heading to church to run some chick retreat she had been planning and working on for the last month.

All the kids over the age of 10 were doing other things. So it was just me and the youngest 6. I put a movie on, put the 10 year-old in charge and hopped in the shower. I was gone for maybe 5 minutes or so. I mean seriously my shower's are quick. I'm short, thin and don't have a ton of hair so my showers ain't all that long people.

And this is what I return to. How can a 2 year-old get into this much mischief in such a short time? This why we call Cecilia, Hunter.

What a waste of glue. That could have been used to make fake nails or at least as a snack.

Busted!

Oh and all this happened a little bit before I had to leave to pick Caleb up at car-wash at church and take him and the little ones to his soccer game. So that's how Cecilia went out too.

Oh and one other thing, those are pajamas Hunter is wearing...who knew...well other than her mother who pointed that out to me when she got home that evening.

I Almost Got Some of the Mascara On My Eyelashes