Perspective

Guys will rag, get stressed out about, or angry with their wives and/or girlfriends for the following:

$150 for a haircut and color
$200 for new place settings
$120 for designer jeans
$300 at a Day Spa for a Swedish Massage, European Facial, salt scrub and a body wrap - I have know idea what that means

But we will think nothing of Spending:

$700 for a new putter
$300 for a custom made monogrammed bowling bowl
$150 Fantasy Football league fees
$800 for Hank Aaron's rookie card
$100 to entry a March Madness bracket pool

Warning signs that you need to get your, um, stuff together

Warning signs that you are in financial distress

1)      No savings. You don’t have a rainy day and an emergency fund.

2)      Your credit card(s) are maxed out.

3)      Once you have paid down your card you go shopping.

4)      You don’t pay your credit card off in full each month (unexpected expenses are not an excuse. You should have a rainy-day fund and an emergency fund. See #1).  You only pay the minimum.

5)      You apply for a new credit card because yours are maxed out.

6)      You have been denied credit.

7)      You take cash advances on your credit card.

8)      You are still spending money on non-essentials when you have credit card debt and no savings. You know, stopping for a latte, going out to eat, doing every activity your kids want to, buying your kids new clothes for every function under the sun when they have perfectly good clothes at home….

9)      You keep refinancing your house and taking money out. You owe more than your house is worth. Or you have two or more mortgages.

10)   You can’t refinance your mortgage to take advantage of low rates because you credit score is lower than a politician’s IQ.

11)   You haven’t pulled a credit report in the past year, or ever. Want one? You are entitled to one free one each year. Don’t go to one of those websites that you see ads for.  Go to www.annualcreditreport.com, the only official site, to get them. All other sites are trying to up-sell you something.

12)   You borrow from friends and relatives to meet everyday expenses.

13)   You have no money leftover at the end of the month.

14)   You bounce checks.

15)   You lie about your finances to your spouse, family and friends.

16)   You are stressed about money and can’t sleep.

17)   You fight with your spouse about finances.

If more than a few of these apply to you. Through your own fault (overspending, not saving etc...). Or through happenstance (long term unemployment, medical emergency etc...) Get help. There are plenty of free financial counselors out there. Check local organizations first; churches, civic groups, your town government, assuming your town actually balances their budget.

Saturday Silliness

Happy Valentines Day Dear

Since I am too cheap to buy you a real gift...

1. I love your soul
2. I love your face
3. I love your faith
4. I love your mind
5. I love being married to you
6. I love you body
7. I love your optimistic personality…even if it annoys me at times
8. I love that you homeshool our kids
9. I love that you have faith in me
10. I love the taste of the salt on your skin
11. I love waking up in the morning with your hair in my face
12. I love your smile
13. I love your hair…even when you cut it short, but don't get any ideas
14. I love you during labor
15. I love how hot you look when pregnant
16. I love that you stay home with the kids
17. I love that you support my working out
18. I love that you feel safe in my arms
19. I love how you cuddle up next to me in the winter for warmth
20. I love your laugh, the nice one, not the witch-like cackle
21. I love that you don’t like to go shopping
22. I love when you wear blue jeans and diamond stud earrings
23. I love you when you cry
24. I love that you can’t balance a checkbook and might not even know where we bank – that’s trust
25. I love to watch you sleep
26. I love that you don’t call me at work 20 times a day..oh wait I work from home now...
27. I love how you can nurse a baby and coach a soccer game at the same time
28. I love when you make my breakfast or lunch
29. I love when you rub my shoulders
30. I love when you hug me from behind
31. I love that you are the pick of the litter
32. I love when we pray together
33. I love that we are BFF’s
34. I love your eyebrows (plucked or not)
35. I love your warmth even though you are always cold
36. I love when you try and do new things on the computer
37. I love that you are more beautiful at 43 then you were at 16 when we met
38. I love how you are selfless
39. I love that I love your more today than the day we were married
40. I love TTN
41. I love when you wear jeans...you know the ones
42. I love that you started working out and lost weight and are even sexier than normal

Nothing Says Love like...Sewage?

NYC sewage plant to offer Valentine's Day tours

NEW YORK (AP) - It may not smell like a rose but a New York City sewage plant is offering tours for lovers on Valentine's Day.
The tour host and superintendent of the Newtown Creek Wastewater treatment plant in Brooklyn tells the Daily News it'll be a unique date, and one that special someone will never forget.
Jim Pynn says the highlight of the tour will be the plant's giant egg-shaped digesters, which break down the noxious waste into harmless sludge and gas.
Pynn says each Valentine's Day visitor will get a Hershey kiss...and at least something to talk about.

 

0 Down...12 to Go?!

We are going backwards, it used to be 2 down 9 to go.

Two years ago around this time I was "bragging" how we had 2 down 9 to go. Well 1 new baby and 2 of the college kids moving back home and we are at 14 bodies bursting the plaster seams of this old house.

What this means in practical terms is more money spent on food, utilities, clothes, home maintenance, schooling etc...More cars in the driveway (and street), there are 7 out front right now although one of the vans is gonna be sold soon...we hope. It's the lovely van that Mary was so kind to decorate a few years ago. We got a new to us van a few weeks ago and no family should have 2 15-passenger vans, not even the Duggars. Our new van is great. Only 2 years old and fairly clean since we haven't skanked it up to much yet. But I will kinda miss the old van. In addition to Mary personally decorating it we have broken down on the side of the road at least twice in it while on vacation. You just can't buy family fun like that. I mean who doesn't like to be stuck on the side of the road in the summer heat far from home with a 10 or so kids, a van full of suitcases, no idea where you are or where to get a tow or where to have the van towed to. Not to mention the joy of spending the next 10 years vacation budget on car repairs. Yes indeed I will miss the old family truckster. Word of advice to growing families looking to upgrade to a full-size van. Don't Buy a Doge Van! Thankfully they have stopped making them. It's a wonder Dodge is in business at all anymore if their vans are any indication of the rest of their line of vehicles. We have owned two of them over the years and they were garbage. Our two Ford vans have been much better.

Um, shoot where was I? Oh yeah kids still at home...We had two kids moved out, one at college and one at seminary so we were down to 9 kids at home (yeah us!) Well Sam went and had another baby (I can't keep her off me) and the two oldest have moved back home. So we are at 14 kids age 11 months to 20 years old living at home. We have juggled rooms around and turned the classroom into a bedroom (why would a homeschooling family need a classroom anyway?). We have 2 adults and 12 kids stashed in 8 bedrooms - thank God for cheap old roomy Levitt houses.

We have reached and passed the Mortgage vs Food tipping point. Our monthly grocery bill has now exceeded our monthly mortgage payment. That actually happened a few years ago. I had hoped with kids moving out that would change but no such luck. Maybe we should start keeping chickens or goats or spotted owls...

So for now, and the foreseeable future we will have all 12 kids at home. Which is a good thing for the most part.

Here is a rundown of what the kids are up to:

#1 Alexandria (20) - In grad school for a Masters in Social Work. Graduates next May
#2 Joshua (19) - At Community College and working various jobs
#3 Caleb (17) - At Community College, working at a gym and playing on the college soccer team
#4 Lizzie (16) - Finishing up her last year of homeschool high school and working on getting her drivers license and just got a part-time job at a grocery store (can dad get a discount?)
#5 Barbara (14) - Doing her second year of high school (or maybe it's first year of HS...not really sure) and playing soccer for a local school that lets homeschoolers play
#6 Joey (12) - In 7th grade and playing CYO soccer
#7 Robert (10) - In 6th grade, playing CYO soccer. Also does swim-team and the occasional triathlon during the summer.
#8 Dominic (8) - In 4th grade, playing soccer. Also does swim-team and the occasional triathlon during the summer. Will become an Altar Boy in the spring.
#9 Mary (6) - In 2nd grade and recovering from her broken leg. She will make her First Communion in the spring
#10 Cece (4) - In kindergarten and feisty as ever
#11 Eric (3) - A Special Child is he. He is our roughest and naughtiest kid we have. He is lucky that he is very cute.
#12 Kolbe (1) - Best behaved baby out of the bunch but in to everything now. We are trying not to let Eric destroy and/or corrupt him

First My Wife Now the Feds

A guy can't get a break.

From CNN
Court allows agents to secretly put GPS trackers on cars

(CNN) -- Law enforcement officers may secretly place a GPS device on a person's car without seeking a warrant from a judge, according to a recent federal appeals court ruling in California.

Drug Enforcement Administration agents in Oregon in 2007 surreptitiously attached a GPS to the silver Jeep owned by Juan Pineda-Moreno, whom they suspected of growing marijuana, according to court papers.

It was bad enough that my wife secretly had a GPS chip implanted in my head while I was passed out after my bachelor party (shh she doesn't know that I am on to her) but now the cops can plant a GPS device on my car without a warrant. What is this country coming too? I'm sure the founder father's would have been more than ok with King George putting a tracking device under their horse's saddle.

I mean I accept that behavior from my wife, I figure it's implied in the marriage contract. It does present some difficulties after going for a run if I stopped for any length of time. "Honest honey I was in the porta-potty for half and hour, that chili con queso you made last night did a number on me. What's that? Why yes the porta-potty was inside a Hooters restaurant. Go figure."

Listen I am not advocating growing marijuana, at least not unless you are gonna share with a stressed-out father of 12. But do we really want the police sneaking around our houses and putting tracking devices on our private property? What's next? Mind reading chips? National identity cards (oh yeah they are in the works)? Medical information chips under the skin (oh wait another bad example)? There is a line of Brazilian lingerie that has built in GPS! Really! How romantic can you get?

Of course if they could implant a GPS device in my teenagers I just might change my mind....

THE PERFECT HUSBAND

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: 'Hello'

WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?'

MAN: 'Yes'

WOMAN: 'I am at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000. Is it OK if I buy it?'

MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'

WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new Models. I saw one I really liked.'

MAN: 'How much?'

WOMAN: '$90,000'

MAN: 'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'

WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000'

MAN: 'Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $ 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 80 thousand if it's really a good deal.'

WOMAN: 'OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!'

MAN: 'Bye! I love you, too.'

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.

He turns and asks: 'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'

Sign of the Times?

So Its Been Awhile

But that doesn't mean that I have been slacking, well not totally.

We were at the beach (Bethany Beach, DE) for a week. Great weather, Great food and good times.

I have been running, pretty much everyday.

Working now and again.

Watching the NBA finals and World Cup Soccer - Go Italy - the US too but seriously do we expect them to really fine it? With all the illegals we have shouldn't we be better at soccer?

I still have the most awesome wife around. The kids are ok too.....for kids ;)

The oldest one, Alex (20), graduated from college with honors (4.0 gpa) with a degree in social work. She started Grad school a week later.

The Army hired me to come up with a new uniform since they are repealing their "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy. Here is the finished product:

How Adam Got Eve

Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely...

So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?'

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion.

And that it would be a woman.

He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you.

And when you discover clothing, she will wash them for you.

She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you.

And will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement.

She will praise you!

She will bear your children.

And never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.

'She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love whenever you need it.'

Adam asked God, 'What will a woman like this cost?'

'An arm and a leg.'

Then Adam asked, 'What can I get for a rib?'

Of course the rest is history

Things You Don't Say To Your Wife

50th Wedding Anniversary

A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together.

Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad", gushed son number one. "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient.....you know how it is... and didn't have time to get you a gift.."

"Not to worry", said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."

Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you."

"It's nothing", said the father. We're glad you were able to come."

Just then the daughter arrived, "Hello and Happy Anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."

After they finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, though we were very poor, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."

The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"

"Yep", said the father, "and cheap ones, too!"

Steve Wood's Top 10 for 2009

For those of you who don't know Steve. He is a former protestant pastor who converted to Catholicism years ago and he is the founder of St. Joseph's Covenant Keepers.

He was also hugely instrumental in the early 90's in keeping me Catholic during a crisis of faith, faith in the true church not faith in God - that's a story for another much longer and thought out post.

So check out his list. Christmas is coming after all. And while the items on his list might not give you the instant worldly satisfaction that say a new pair of running shoes or a pound of Italian Roast Coffee does, they will have lasting eternal benefits.

Check out Steve's Top 10 resources for Catholic families for 2009

And check out his websites for other great resources and information:

Family Life Center

and

Dad's.org

Where is that Darn Vacuum Cleaner and Mop Anyway?

Housework Pays Off Between the Sheets
by Sue Shellenbarger
Wall Street Journal

Housework may seem like the ultimate romance-killer. But guess what?

A new study shows that for husbands and wives alike, the more housework you do, the more often you are likely to have sex with your spouse.

Earlier studies have hinted at this connection for men; the sight of a husband mopping the floor or doing dishes sparks affection in the hearts of many wives. But the more-housework-equals-more-sex link for wives, documented in a study of 6,877 married couples published online recently in the Journal of Family Issues, is a surprise.

Scrubbing the floor is no aphrodisiac, and seeing your spouse doing it usually isn't either. "My husband loves doing laundry, yet I don't get any thrill out of his doing it," says Chicago writer Julie Danis. And "I don't think he thinks it's sexy when I go around gathering the detritus of his daily life."

But for some high achievers who take a "work hard, play hard" approach to life, researchers say, working hard in one domain produces more energy for others. The study also found a correlation between hours spent on paid work and the frequency of sex in marriage.

"Rather than compromise their sex life" because of time demands at work or at home, "this group of go-getters seems to make sex a priority," says Constance Gager, lead researcher and an assistant professor of family and child studies at Montclair State University, Montclair, N.J. The study doesn't measure what proportion of spouses fall into this group, but she believes "they are on the leading edge of couples we expect to see more of in the future."

Many husbands and wives I interviewed offered an additional explanation – that housework may be a proxy for a general willingness to invest in shared interests, a symbol of commitment to home and hearth. Perhaps "working on the same task … makes the couple remember why they married – to be on the same team, to build a life," Ms. Danis says.

Read the rest of the article here

Blessed the Husband of a Good Wife

Don’t you just hate it when the readings from Mass convict you and make you feel like dirt? Or in my case dirt from Three Mile Island.

Both of the readings below made me realize how truly blessed I am to have found and married such a wonderful woman. Ok realized isn’t the best word, of course I’ve known it all along. It’s not like it just dawned on me. I’ve known she was special since the first time I met her 25 years ago. Reminded is probably a better word. Sadly I tend to take my bride for granted. She is so wonderful and I am so lucky to have her that I just assume she will always be there for me and the kids (which she is) but she doesn’t get the thanks and recognition that she deserves for putting up with me and the little blessings from God.

Anyway between the readings below and having her down and out for a month after her c-section, I got a great reminder during that time of how much I have to be thankful for.

The first reading from a few Sunday’s ago

I prayed, and prudence was given me;
I pleaded, and the spirit of wisdom came to me.
I preferred her to scepter and throne,
and deemed riches nothing in comparison with her,
nor did I liken any priceless gem to her;
because all gold, in view of her, is a little sand,
and before her, silver is to be accounted mire.
Beyond health and comeliness I loved her,
and I chose to have her rather than the light,
because the splendor of her never yields to sleep.
Yet all good things together came to me in her company,
and countless riches at her hands.
Wisdom 7:7-11

Then this reading at a wedding last weekend that we attended

Blessed the husband of a good wife, twice-lengthened are his days; A worthy wife brings joy to her husband, peaceful and full is his life. A good wife is a generous gift bestowed upon him who fears the Lord; Be he rich or poor, his heart is content, and a smile is ever on his face.
A gracious wife delights her husband, her thoughtfulness puts flesh on his bones; A gift from the Lord is her governed speech, and her firm virtue is of surpassing worth. Choicest of blessings is a modest wife, priceless her chaste soul. A holy and decent woman adds grace upon grace; indeed, no price is worthy of her temperate soul. Like the sun rising in the Lord’s heavens, the beauty of a virtuous wife is the radiance of her home.
Sirach 26:1-4, 13-16

Ok I know the first reading is talking about wisdom not wives but I decided it was talking to me about my wife and what a gift she is to me. A gift to be cherished and loved and protected and placed above all other gifts. As for the second reading from Sirach, the author could have had my wife in mind when he wrote it. With the possible exception of “governed speech”. She does like to talk every now and again ;)

“...no price is worthy of her...” Sam you truly priceless to me. Thank you so much for saying yes all those years ago.

And thanks for putting up with:

• My running all the time
• My skanky toenails from running
• My joking about trading you in for 2 20 year-old (twins)
• The hair sprouting on my ears
• My smart-assedness (I’m pretty sure that is a word)
• HT and TTN
• My taking you for granted
• My complaining about the house
• (Insert all other faults of mine here)

Just don’t let it go to your head.

Just How Hard is it to Pee?

What is it with you women and peeing? Everything has to be just perfect for you to go. Can’t go outside, can’t go in a porta-potty, and can’t go unless the bathroom is clean. Can’t go unless the seat is warm and scented candles are lit etc…Can’t go on demand but then when you finally have to go, get out of the way or you will be getting wetter than going over Niagara Falls.

Guys on the other hand can go anywhere anytime under and conditions. We could go on the 50-yard line of a football field during the Super Bowl. I’m pretty sure during the storming of Normandy Beach, while the bullets and bombs were flying all over the place and guys were being blown to bits, there were guys standing there on the beach going pee against the side of a blown-up tank. Even if we have gone recently we can go again. Basically we can go on demand.

What brought this up, other than the fact that I like to talk about peeing, is my bride having to give numerous urine samples over the past 2 weeks and her inability at times to go even after drinking copious amounts of fluids. She either can’t go when at the lab or she has to go so badly at home that she can’t wait until she gets to the lab. It’s all or nothing with her. Hoover Dam vs. the Mississippi river.

It Could be Worse

Gestation period of various mammals

Cow 10 months
Horse 11 months
Sea Lion 12 months
Whale 12 months
Donkey 13 months
Camel 14 months
Giraffe 15 months
Rhino 17 months
Elephant 21 months

Husband of the Year Awards

h/t: My Bride

The honorable mention goes to:
The United Kingdom


...followed closely by The United States of America


and then ................Poland


but 3rd Place must go to ........ Greece


it was very very close but the runner up prize was awarded to.................Serbia


but the winner of the husband of the year ......is ..........Ireland
Ya gotta love the Irish.


The Irish are true romantics. Look, he's even holding her hand.

Finally a Book on Marriage that Makes Sense

How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It

Forget everything you've heard about frankness, sharing your feelings, getting him to express his. Research into the functions of the male mind makes it clear that discussion may be the fastest way to shut down communication. (Oh, you noticed that, have you?)

By Barbara Graham from "O, The Oprah Magazine"

When I first heard about the book, I thought it was a gimmick. How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It sounded like a title somebody's prankster husband dreamed up after a rocky couples' therapy session. When I mentioned it to Hugh, my own husband — who in 22 years of marriage has never once said, "Honey, we need to talk" — his face lit up like the Fourth of July. Needless to say, I was suspicious. What about the vast repertoire of communication skills women have spent decades perfecting? Were Patricia Love and Steven Stosny, the psychotherapists who coauthored the book, advising us to forget everything we've learned and rethink how we relate to our partners?

The answer is yes — and they're not kidding.

"The number one myth about relationships is that talking helps. The truth is, more often than not, it makes things worse," says Love, a tall, lean redhead with a down-home Texas twang and a generous smile. She is cofounder of the Austin Family Institute, and leads workshops around the country when she isn't making television appearances or cowriting books, including the best-selling Hot Monogamy.

"Talking about feelings, which is soothing to women, makes men physically uncomfortable," says Stosny, the Maryland-based author of You Don't Have to Take It Anymore and an expert on male aggression. "There's literally more blood flow to their muscles. They get fidgety, and women think they're not listening."

We're relaxing in the sunroom of my house in Washington, D.C., on a golden autumn morning. I learn that it was Stosny's research into the core emotional differences between the sexes that radically altered his thinking, as well as the way he works with clients. When he shared his findings with his friend and colleague Pat Love, they rang true to her, even though they flew in the face of the verbal problem-solving approach she'd been using for 30 years.

According to Stosny's analysis of several hundred human and animal studies, male and female responses to stress are distinct from birth. "When a baby girl hears a loud noise or gets anxious, she wants to make eye contact with someone, but a baby boy will react to the same sound by looking around, in a fight-or-flight response," he says. What's more, while newborn girls are much more easily frightened, boys have five times as many "startle" reactions, which are emotionally neutral but pump up adrenaline. Boys need to intermittently withdraw into themselves to keep from becoming overstimulated. These differences hold true for most social animals and correlate with our biological roles: The female's fear response is an early warning system that serves to detect threats and alert the males of the pack to danger.

As girls grow, they go beyond needing eye contact and refine a coping strategy identified by UCLA psychologists as "tend and befriend." If there's a conflict, girls and women want to talk about it. Boys and men, however, need to pull away. A man's greatest suffering, Stosny says, comes from the shame he feels when he doesn't measure up—which is why discussing relationship problems (i.e., what he's doing wrong) offers about as much comfort as sleeping on a bed of nails.