Monday, December 14, 2009

More Questions That Haunt Me

1• I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

2• There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

3• Life is sexually transmitted.

4• Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

5• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

6• Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

7• Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

8• Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9• All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

10• In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

11• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

12• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?’

13• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

14• Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

15. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

16• Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Is it a Popsicle or a Pole?

Christmas Story: Boise boy licks pole, gets stuck
December 8, 2009 - 9:18pm

BOISE, Idaho (AP) - It's become an annual winter tale: A young boy gets his tongue stuck to a metal pole, perhaps as the result of a dare. This year, the scene straight out of the movie "A Christmas Story" unfolded Tuesday morning in Boise with a boy of about 10. Boise firefighters used a glass of warm water to free the unidentified boy from the metal fence pole.

Fire Capt. Bill Tinsley says the boy's tongue was bleeding a little, but he was OK and allowed to continue walking to school. Firefighters estimate the boy was 10 years old.

Rescue workers responded after a woman driving by saw the boy and called 911.

Last year, the unlucky boy was a 10-year-old from Hammond, Ind., especially apt, since the 1983 movie is set in a fictional city based on Hammond.

What's the big deal? What boy hasn't tried this? I got my tongue stuck to a pole back in the early 70's. Did I whine and cry and have the fire department come out and help me? No. I just started panting real hard to warm up the tongue and then yanked it off like a man. Sure I left part of my tongue on the pole and it bled like crazy and well I did cry like a little girl. Oh and I talked with a lisp for weeks and got beat up a lot. But it was well worth it.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

What to do when disaster strikes?


Does it seem when you are trying your best to be financially responsible that unexpected budget busters start coming your way? It sure does here. The best way to prepare for a disaster or two is to have an emergency fund. If you are working as hard as you can to be debt free, you should have a $1,000 emergency fund. If you are currently debt free your emergency fund should total 6 months of expenses.

I feel so blessed to have an emergency fund, but even when an emergency strikes, I don't like to spend more of it than I have to. Here are some steps of thinking that help me to preserve as much of my emergency fund as I can:

1. How long before the repair must be made or the bill paid? (Write a specific date down.) The longer you can wait, the better your chance of finding a good deal.

2. Does insurance or warranty protection apply? (You would be shocked how many people throw an object a way or buy a new one when the broken one is still covered by warranty.)

3. How much would it cost to completely hire the repair done or to purchase a replacement item brand new?

4. Is it possible to repair the item yourself? Even if you don't currently have the knowledge can you get the information you need online or at the library? ( is a valuable resource for how to videos.)

5. If you were to repair the item yourself would the cost of the supplies and tools needed (not already on hand) be more than the cost of hiring the repair done? If you did buy the tools, would they be useful to you in other applications? If so, how often would you use them? If not, could you resell the tools on ebay or craigslist and recoup some of your costs?

6. Can you trade labor with a friend who already has the tools and knowledge to make the repair and could use your services?

7. Can you buy a remnant (ie carpet or vinyl flooring) for a repair in a small room or closet?

8. Can you buy the item you need second hand? Craigslist or ebay? Can you buy it from a large volume discount merchant such as, or at a local garage sale or thrift store?

9. Can you use an alternative material or object?

Friday, December 11, 2009

Less advanced and lethal prostate cancers in male coffee drinkers

We here at SCD care about your prostate health...Drink more coffee

The American Association for Cancer Research Frontiers in Cancer Prevention Research Conference held December 6-9, 2009 in Houston was the site of a presentation of the finding that men with a high daily intake of coffee have a significantly lower risk of advanced and lethal prostate cancer. The beverage contains antioxidants and minerals as well as caffeine, all of which could impact cancer risk.

Postdoctoral fellow Kathryn M. Wilson, PhD of Harvard School of Public Health and her colleagues at Harvard Medical School's Channing Laboratory and McGill University in Montreal evaluated data from nearly 50,000 participants in the Health Professionals’ Follow-Up Study. Regular and decaffeinated coffee intake was assessed for 1986 and every four years thereafter until 2006. During this time period, 4,975 men developed prostate cancer.

While coffee drinking appeared to have a small protective effect on the overall risk of prostate cancer, with those who consumed 6 or more cups per day having a 19 percent lower risk compared with those who did not drink coffee, when advanced and fatal cancers were separately analyzed, the risk of each was 59 percent lower in men who consumed the most coffee, and among men who had never smoked, the risk was 89 percent lower. Similar results were observed for both regular and decaffeinated coffee. "Few studies have looked prospectively at this association, and none have looked at coffee and specific prostate cancer outcomes," noted Dr Wilson. "We specifically looked at different types of prostate cancer, such as advanced versus localized cancers or high-grade versus low-grade cancers."

Continue Reading

Jesus Knows You're Here

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,

'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard

'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Shunning the Family Bed. Who Benefits Most?


According to Dr. Jay Gordon, babies sleeping on a safe surface with sober, nonsmoking parents respond to their parents, and the parents respond to them. The chance of SIDS occurring in this situation are close to zero. Babies in a crib or in a room away from their parents, on the other hand, will breastfeed less and are at greater risk of infections, including life-threatening ones.

The medical profession, as it often does, is approaching the entire idea of the family bed backward. A baby in the same bed with his or her parents is surrounded by the best possible surveillance and safety system. It must be the responsibility of the manufacturers and proponents of cribs and separated sleep to prove that such disruption is safe, not the other way around.

Newborn babies breathe in irregular rhythms and even stop breathing for a few seconds at a time. To put it simply, they are not designed to sleep alone.

Read the Rest of the Article Here

Our babies pretty much sleep with us when they are newborns. What do the rest of you do? Just curious. Not trying to start a big debate or anything.

Questions That Haunt Me

An old list but funny...

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'...but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Today's Workouts

10.69 sunny miles at lunch time. Post rain run. It turned out to be a nice day out there. I wore my Asics DS Trainer 13 running shoes.

Piano Stairs - The Fun Theory

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

While I Was Away

I wasn't wasting my time laying around doing nothing.

There were bills to pay, roads to run, tv to watch, belly-buttons to clean out, kids to play with, a wife to worship....

...and of course Christmas lights to put up on the house...

Today's Workouts

6.7 mile run at lunch time. A nice sunny cool day here in Maryland with that nasty white stuff from Saturday just about melted. Wore my Asics DS Trainer 14 running shoes.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

An Obituary printed in the London Times

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain
Why the early bird gets the worm
Life isn't always Fair
and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason…

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Random Thoughts from Variuos People

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. My 10-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the heck do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Lites than Kay.

Ok so its been awhile since I posted something

I hope y'all have enjoyed the break.

So what have I been up to? Not much really. Just life.

  • Hanging out with the family and my lovely bride
  • Sam is potty training Eric. How come I don't get a piece of candy when I go in the toilet?
  • Still running and it has been getting better. I had to skip my big 50 mile race last week due to back/hip pain. I have been going to the chiropractor for the past 3 weeks and it's getting better. Always doing strengthening and stretching exercises at home.
  • Thanksgiving was ok. We cooked a 22 pound turkey and 6 Cornish game hens. Looked like a family of birds had been slaughtered.
  • The kids have another week and half of school and then they are done for the holidays.
  • Bought a new pair of running shoes with some birthday money. Shocking I know.
  • Trying to figure out what races I want to do next year
  • Cecilia (Hunter) turned 4 yesterday