1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. My 10-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the heck do I respond to that?
19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Lites than Kay.
4 comments:
I spent 3 months in a monastery learning to fold fitted sheets*:
1. Put your hands in corners on the same long-side of the sheet. Stretch your hands out all the way (like a crucifix) and tuck the middle of the side under your chin.
2. bring your hands together and tuck one corner into the other, so that they overlap. Rotate the sheet 90 degrees and tuck the other two corners together.
3. Put your hands into the two double-layer corners and stretch them out like you did in 1, tucking the middle under your chin, and bringing them together. Overlap the two double-corners.
You should now have all the corners lined up.
4. Put the sheet down on a flat surface (table, bed, washing machine). Fold the sheet in thirds so that the elastic is hidden.
5. Fold the sheet in thirds the other way.
You might have to modify this for non-twin sized sheets, but we all had the same size in the Abbey.
pictoral guide attempt:
Beginning:
c-----------c
- -
- -
c-----------c
First fold:
c------F
- o
- l
c------d
Rotate:
c-----c
- -
- -
- -
F o l d
2nd Fold:
c---f
- o
- l
fo ld
Hopefully this makes some sense.
*I forgot to put the note that went with the asterisk on my first post: the whole three months were not spent on folding. Some were spent on praying, eating, sleeping, washing, et cetera.
LOL!! Hahahahaha!! #7 is right on!
I almost peed. Really.
I also love #17 and the last one. Haha.
Thanks for making me smile. Must sleep now.
LOL!! Hahahahaha!! #7 is right on!
I almost peed. Really.
I also love #17 and the last one. Haha.
Thanks for making me smile. Must sleep now.
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