Friday, August 27, 2010

Politically Incorrect Day

Been up since 4:30 and I am in a feisty mode. Today is Global Forgiveness Day. Yeah I've never heard of it nor know what it is either. Sounds like some commie think that pantsuit wearing nuns came up with in the 70's. If I want forgiveness I just go sit in the penalty box at church on Saturday afternoons...a few Hail Mary's later and I am good to go.

In honor of Global Forgiveness Day I present the following jokes designed to offend all. And no I don't want your forgiveness.

Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar.

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment.

Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek ?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.

Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a recipe along with a description of the animal.

Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A. A northern fairytale begins, ...'Once upon a time...'
A southern fairytale begins, ... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh!t.'

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States

2 comments:

Karen LH said...

What, no blonde joke?

laurazim said...

You crack me the heck up!

Yesterday, while at the eye doctor, 12-y-o boy says to the doctor, "Ouch! That light is bright!" The doctor says, "I'll only leave it on a little longer than necessary. I'm not too much of a masochist." I almost peed in the chair, I was laughing so hard. I said to him, "It's ok, because Thursday is Beating Day at our house." He guffawed and thanked me profsely for NOT being politically correct!!

When the 14-y-o girl was in the chair and we were discussing her history with hard contact lenses, he said, "Now THAT doctor was a real masochist!" It was really a great afternoon..............

You've inspired my husband to an extent. That 14-y-o has begun running cross country, and husband has had to run with her in the evenings so she's not alone. Pregnant Mama is not runnin'. He's discovered that even at his decrepit age of 34, he can build indurance and feel great about it!