Friday, December 5, 2008

Yo Curly Where are Larry and Moe

My workout adventures yesterday.

For breakfast I took Barbara and Dominic to McDonald’s after 8am Mass. It was the feast of St Barbara, even though some commie at the Vatican took her off the calendar – but I digress.

Anyway I had a breakfast biscuit, hash brown and coffee. At 11am I went out and biked 26 miles. I got home around 12:30 and had a few more cups of coffee. I meant to have some Gatorade and a Power Bar but I got sidetracked with work.

At 2pm I went out for 10 mile run. A half of a mile into the run I realized I had forgotten to bring my bottle of Gatorade. I figured it was no big deal because it wasn’t hot out and I wouldn’t get dehydrated. I forgot about the lack of calories I had taken in.

At the 2 mile point of my run I started getting that light-headed low blood sugar feeling and my legs were feeling wobbly. For those of you who workout, this is called Bonking. I decided to switch my run to 6 miles and just try and get home without fainting.

At the 3.5 mile point I was feeling really weird, like at a Grateful Dead concert weird. Now I’m not thinking clearly at all. I decide to try and figure out who I know that lives near where I am at. So maybe I can get some food or a ride home. When low and behold what’s this littered on the ground? An Arby’s bag?

Hmmm I like Arby’s. Open up the bag. An empty milkshake cup, an empty roast beef sandwich wrapper, rats I like roast beef, and at the bottom of the bag…jackpot….an extra large order of Curly Fries that for some reason haven’t been touched.

I stick my glove covered mitts in there and start shoveling those fries in my mouth like I’m going to the electric chair. They are cold but so scrumptious. Too bad there are no ketchup packs to munch on too. It takes me about all of 90 seconds to eat them all. I look in the bag at the receipt from the food; it’s from yesterday afternoon, around 24 hours ago. Oh well it has been pretty cool recently. Kinda like a refrigerator. (It has been 4 hours now since I scarfed down the fries and no food poisoning …yet) The light headedness starts to go away and I decide to finish the last 2.5 miles of my run. Those are the fastest miles of my run, I’m Frying…I mean flying home.

Forget steroids and EPO, Arby’s fries are going to be my new performance enhancing drug.





6 comments:

the donk said...

why i call you my bff is beyond me... we couldnt be any more polar opposite then we are... you nasty b...... !!!!!! :)

Mau said...

There you go. This story convinced me I will never take up long distance anything (not that I was going to anyway)! I never want to be that desperate for calories. Yikes! You are crazy, and I mean that in the sweetest way possible ;-)

Pilgrim On said...

Ridiculous--send that in to Runner's World or something . . . just don't let a whisper of it get back to Arby's: who knows what sort of advertising inspiration they'd take from that.

Yeah, I don't if this is more of a motivational tract or a 'you're better off with the pumpkin pie on the couch' endorsement.

Keep on trekking!

june cleaver said...

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! gak! I think you were a lemon as a child.

Rob said...

Donk - you should know how I roll by now.

Mau - sure you don't want to meet me for a run tomorrow?

Pilgrim - Too late, i emailed the story to Arby's...hoping for some free product. I might just have to send it to RW too

June - you are just figuring that out?

the Mom said...

I'll meet you for a run, but scrounging for calories in all you. Blech!