Pet owners -
Not just any pet owners but one specific kind. You probably know a couple like this
· Decided not to have kids because of the poor environment but has two pretentious pure breed dogs
· Met with the breeders ahead of time and paid thousands of dollars for the dogs
· Talks about their dogs as if they were their children and also has some ‘cute’ story to tell about them
· Feeds the dogs designer dog food and spends more money of dog food than I do on groceries
· Buys their dogs Christmas gifts and dresses them in sweaters
· Sends pictures of their dogs in their Christmas cards
· Takes their dog to the groomers monthly
· Spends $20,000 for the dog to have a hip replacement instead of $50 to have it put down
· Hangs out at dog-parks drinking Starbucks coffee with other losers
· Let their dogs sit on their laps while driving
· Takes their ‘babies’ to doggie daycare while at work and checks in on them throughout the day on the doggie webcam
· Can never do anything fun at the last minute cause they have dogs to care for
· Spends more on medical care for their 2 dogs annually than I do for my 12 kids
· Hauls them around in a Volvo station wagon with ‘Coexist’ and ‘Practice Civility’ bumper stickers on it (one of these days I’m going to flatten one of those cars with my Suburban)
· Say things like “isn’t he so cute”, as their dog is rubbing on your leg or sniffing your crotch
I hope they have fun with those dogs when they are old and can’t take care of themselves. I’m sure an Akita can change depends just as well as one of their non-existent children could.
4 comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Crazy dog people - I just don't get it either :)
Okay, I agree with all of it, except I do hang out at the dog park with my Siberian Husky, and I usually have a cup of coffee in my hands (most often it is my own home roasted coffee...sense the smarm). And I am not a LOSER. (yet) The folks at my dog park have real dogs. The kind of folks you are talking about would not dare take their precious pups to a dog park because they could get dirty or roughed up by a dog like mine....huskies play rough!!! :-)
Yo my sister from another mother. You have a normal dog park. We have yuppy ones here.
You roast your own beans? I need to get into that?
Not everyone who "decided" to have dogs actually decided not to have children.
Roughly one out of seven couples in the United States experiences infertility. After trying and failing, after experiencing the bitter pain of childlessness, it may be that a few of these folks will tell you that rather than have children, they have dogs.
As we waited years for our first child to arrive (ultimately coming to believe that we would likely not have children), yes, we had dogs. And when folks tried to intrude on what for us was a very painful and private topic, and asked about our lack of children after a decade of marriage, we would occasionally say, "Oh, we have dogs," hoping the conversation would then come to a merciful end.
And we took good care of our dogs. Why not? We could afford it. We didn't go to the lengths you describe - no doggie daycare, plain old dog chow, etc. - although I doubt that the folks who do go to the extremes you describe represent much more than a small minority of dog owners - even childless dog owners.
Not everyone who is childless - or have a small number of children - is so by choice. And folks in these circumstances may not share with you the details.
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