Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Hand Washing for Dummies

It seems we Americans are too stupid to properly wash our hands on our own. So our glorious and all-knowing leaders have issued a "How to Wash Your Hands" guide - your tax dollars at work people. Be sure and watch the How to Video also. It's classic. Apparently you start with putting water on your hands - who knew....Also, all you OCD freaks (that's you Donk) out there will love the how-to turn off the water and exit the bathroom part.

From the Wallstreet Journal -

Put Up Your Dukes: Fighting Disease With Soap and Water

Fear of swine flu is fading, but there are still plenty of reasons to wash your hands frequently.

The list of infections that can spread via unwashed hands reads like the Biblical plagues, including staph, strep, salmonella, E. coli, hepatitis, MRSA (methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus), colds, flu and norovirus -- the infamous cruise-ship bug.

The importance of hand washing has been known since 1847, when a doctor named Ignaz Semmelweis suspected that maternity patients were dying in his Vienna hospital because med students treated them right after working on cadavers. When he instituted hand-cleaning, the deaths fell sharply.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says hand washing is the most effective way to stay healthy. But many people don't do it often enough, or long enough, to be effective. Here's a guide:

Let me summarize some of the Feds guidelines (you can't make this stuff up people)

Wash your hands every time you use the bathroom...also after: change a diaper, pick up animal waste, sneeze, cough or blow your nose. I'm glad they are there for us. I never would have thought on my own to wash my hands after picking up dog poop.

So how does one actually wash their hands? Glad you asked.

"Experts recommend using warm water -- mainly for comfort, so you'll wash longer. Use liquid soap if possible. Bar soaps can harbor germs, though they'll likely rinse off with water.

Use enough soap to build a lather. Lace your fingers together to cover all the surfaces. Rub the fingertips of one hand into the palm of the other, then reverse. Keep rubbing for as long as it takes to sing "Happy Birthday" twice. (Some experts prefer "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." But any tune will do as long as it lasts at least 15 seconds.)"

Personally I usually sing the 18 minute version of "inagaddadavida". But to each his own.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I hear the new ways the Feds come up with to spend the money they steal from us. I'm sure this is what the Founding Fathers had in mind when they wrote the Bill of Rights. Maybe there was a "right to clean hands" amendment that I missed during civics class. I did skip a Whole Lot of High School classes.

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