Monday, May 11, 2009

Obama Motors, Inc

Now that Los Federales are in the car business (with the Auto Worker’s Union’s help of course) what types of cars will Obama Motors (OM) be producing? Fortunately I’ve obtained a confidential White House Press Release for my readers. This won’t be out until Tuesday, so mum’s the word


THE WHITE HOUSE

Office of the Press Secretary
____________________________________________________________
For Immediate Release May 12, 2009

TO THE SUBJECTS OF THE UNITED STATES:

My loyal subjects, it is with great hubris that I announce to you that besides being the supreme being of the United States of America, I have also appointed myself the Grand Poo Pa of the company formerly known as General Motors (GM). Of course there will be drastic changes in the way cars are manufactured and the cars that will be produced. But not to worry, I will be involved in all aspects of running the new company, including designing the new cars. While I can’t discuss all the details yet. Here are a few facts to wet your appetites. We expect the new cars to be out in 10-15 years so hang on to your old cars for awhile or better yet take a bus. I know it may seem like a long time to wait but it will be well worth it. And since I’ve anointed myself as dictator for life there really is no rush.

There will only be 2 models available: The Hope and The Change

• 4 seats max to encourage population control (larger model available for pet owners of course)
• Color – all cars will be Green, literally. Except for the limited edition pink model to benefit breast cancer research and the rainbow colored edition, known as the “Adam and Steve”, to benefit aids research
• Radio’s that only get NPR
• Of course the company will be called Obama Motors after the new Messiah. But as a bone to the honkeys, all dealerships in the South we have the option of using the name Bama Motors. So be sure to have your BM today.
• Safety and Emissions inspections will have to conducted monthly
• Top speed of 55 mph – except for police models of course
• Built in smoke detectors that shut the car down if cigarette smoke is detected (of course the ash trays will be replaced with Soy Latte holders)
• Obviously no A/C
• No leather seats so has to keep PETA happy
• One model will be powered by a combination of gasoline, ethanol, Chiclets, and bean sprouts
• The other will be powered by cow flatulence – how the car’s tank is refilled, you don’t want to know
• If of child-bearing age, all cars come with free birth-control
• If over the age of 65, all cars come with a DIY euthanasia kit. Please dispose of all syringes in an environmental friendly way

Exaltedly Yours,

BARACK OBAMA

THE WHITE HOUSE,
May 12, 2009.



Does anyone find it interesting that at the press conference for the new Obama Motors, the Feds and Unions announced a “5-Year Plan” to turn around OM/BM? Do people not remember the Soviet Union and their failed 5-Year Plans? Also, where is the public outcry over this?

1 comment:

The Krazy Girl said...

I guess we'll have to re-elect him for a second term. Or nothing good will happen;D

BTW-- I'm beginning to think most people want Socialism. They love not being responsible for themselves and letting the government control everything. My only worry is if at some point people want to move back to what the founding fathers wanted. What will happen?