Thursday, October 29, 2009

Attributable to Larry, the Cable Guy

Because with all the problems in the world, real and imagined, life is too short and important to take seriously.

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15.... When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines....

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos.
What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

6 comments:

Jo Flemings said...

Ok, # 7 definitely and I needed to hear that.
#21 for sure and #23, LOL!
This is cute and good for a chuckle! And we all need more laughter in our lives!

thefrenchchick said...

Thanks so much for the laugh. I really needed that today.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://firgonbares.net/][img]http://firgonbares.net/img-add/euro2.jpg[/img][/url]
[b]master reseller software, [url=http://firgonbares.net/]software to store photos[/url]
[url=http://firgonbares.net/][/url] buying a software company office 2003 standard serial
adobe photoshop cs4 extended incl patch-nope [url=http://firgonbares.net/]QuarkXPress 8 Retail Price[/url] macromedia flash 5.0 software
[url=http://firgonbares.net/]kristanix software button shop v3[/url] adobe photoshop cs4 mac serial numbers
[url=http://firgonbares.net/]kaspersky black2white[/url] educational software development
nero 9 distributors [url=http://firgonbares.net/]software support price[/b]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://murudobaros.net/][img]http://murudobaros.net/img-add/euro2.jpg[/img][/url]
[b]adobe acrobat 9 free download, [url=http://murudobaros.net/]computer software sale[/url]
[url=http://murudobaros.net/]store front software[/url] Extended Mac Retail Price buy bulk software
kaspersky security software [url=http://murudobaros.net/]windows xp software[/url] windows vista tutorial
[url=http://murudobaros.net/]place to buy dreamweaver[/url] software to buy tickets
[url=http://murudobaros.net/]macromedia shockwave software[/url] buy dreamweaver cs4
wisconsin software discount [url=http://murudobaros.net/]coreldraw x3 graphics suite[/b]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://vonmertoes.net/][img]http://vonmertoes.net/img-add/euro2.jpg[/img][/url]
[b]buying photoshop software, [url=http://vonmertoes.net/]ms office software[/url]
[url=http://bariossetos.net/][/url] autocad xref will not print buy language software
software corporation canada [url=http://hopresovees.net/]7 Mac Poser[/url] we buy used software
[url=http://hopresovees.net/]pirated software canada[/url] adobe acrobat pro 9 crack
[url=http://vonmertoes.net/]downloadable games software[/url] photoshop software for sale
table missing filemaker pro 9 [url=http://hopresovees.net/]2009 Retail Price[/b]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://vonmertoes.net/][img]http://vonmertoes.net/img-add/euro2.jpg[/img][/url]
[b]adobe photoshop cs3 studio techniques, [url=http://hopresovees.net/]kaspersky internet security 2009 reviews[/url]
[url=http://hopresovees.net/][/url] free adobe photoshop cs3 serial number buy microsoft office 2007 software
difference between academic software and [url=http://vonmertoes.net/]adobe software upgrades[/url] adobe software student discounts
[url=http://bariossetos.net/]vista software downloads[/url] 0 Mac
[url=http://hopresovees.net/]software webshop[/url] free reseller software
adobe creative suite 4 [url=http://bariossetos.net/]adobe photoshop cs4 book for mac[/b]