Friday, October 23, 2009

My Deepest Apologies

After years of mocking Al Gore and all the other tree-huggers and spotted owl kissers for going crazy over this global warming hoax I have to apologize (I mean the man did give us the Internet, isn’t that enough? What more can we ask of him). It appears that they were right along and I was mistaken (there is always a first time) and the earth is indeed heating up. It’s my entire fault for taking the lack of proof at face value and assuming they were wrong. I mean just because we are having milder and a cooler summer than normal how was I to know that it was actually getting hotter? I just assumed that since it has been colder than normal this summer that it was...well...actually colder than normal. Stupid me.

But finally I have proof and have seen the errors of my ways. I now will be selling my 15-passenger van and buying a Smart Car. I’m sure I can stuff all 14 of us into it somehow. Maybe a roof rack. We will also be selling our big house and moving out into the country and building a log cabin and eat granola for the rest of our lives. We will be getting rid of our clothes that are made in an environmentally unfriendly way and become one with nature – it won’t be pretty.

What is this proof that could make me change my lifestyle so drastically? Well see for yourself. Scary isn’t it? See ya at Whole Foods.


5 comments:

Sam said...

what no comment about my underware being from the 18th century? how kind...

the Mom said...

I, too, must apologize to the esteemed Mr Gore.

Thanks, Rob, for showing me the error of my ways.

Maurisa said...

Glad to know you'll admit when you're wrong.

Catherine said...

In France, they try to impose the bicycle, just like our neighbours, The Dutch.... Forget the idea of the Smart, for once, copy us, you would look like a sunday racing team..... you would love it, no ?

By the way, does Al sell his huge
4x4 for a scooter ? Mechanical energy is the best, tell him.

laurazim said...

Huh. I guess I had it backwards. Since we moved on to bigger and better things and invested in the 12-passenger (leaving my poor way cool husband to commute in the decidedly un-cool minivan), I've been thinking that we should maximize the use of the thing by having five more kids, thereby filling every seat. I ain't goin' back to no minivan.

And Sam--18th century isn't a half-bad idea--no wedgies! ;)