American Idol '09

Going into tonight’s show I’ve got them ranked like this:

1. Adam
2. Kris
3. Allison
4. Danny
5. Matt
6. Anoop
7. Lil

Once we unload the dead weight of Lil and Anoop over the next 2 weeks we should end up with a halfway decent Top 5

Random Idol news:

“Jason Castro signs record deal with Atlantic Records. Jason, who was the third runner up on the 2008 season of "American Idol", is collaborating with current "Idol" judge Kara DioGuardi and Grammy-Winning producer John Fields, plus a number of other top names in the music biz.”

“Simon Cowell hints he may leave “American Idol”

Tonight is “Songs of the Cinema” night with mentor Quentin Tarantino. Not sure what this exactly means. Any song that was in a movie is fair game? I mean we don’t have to listen to just songs from ‘Kill Bill: Vol 1-3” do we? And what does Quentin Tarantino know about music? Was he a musician before a director? Of course it wouldn’t take much to know more than the judges and his movies do have good soundtracks…so…

Did you know one of my kid’s middle names is Tarantino? Do you care?

Will Idol run over again tonight like last week and annoy everyone that TiVo’s the show? At least the there shouldn’t be too much filler after last week’s debacle when the show went over by about 10 minutes. Doesn’t anyone at FOX own a watch?

And we are off. Ryan is doing his best impersonation of a Federal Reserve banker with black pin-stripe suit and white shirt. Paula has a huge diamond studded dog-collar on. Looks like a rich person’s poodle. Randy is going with a Charlie Brown sweater and Simon dresses the same every week.

Little Steven is in the house.

Due to the show running over last week (Simon says it’s the girls fault – no argument here, Paula could talk the ears of a jackass) only two judges will speak after each performance. See there is a God. Of course they could just get rid of the filler.

Allison is doing Aerosmith’s “I Don't Want to Miss a Thing” from Armageddon. Crappy movie. Does anyone think Ben Affleck can act? Allison starts of singing real softly and breathy (is that a word?) and then kicks it in. I find myself liking her better and better each week. Simon says she is the girl’s only hope left. Ouch take the knife out of Lil’s back. Simon and Fido both loved it. She says “You possess the same special sauce as Adam does”. Someday that will be translated by smarter brains than I into English.

I hate the green commercials.

Anoop is doing “Everything I Do” by Bryan Adams from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Anoop seems to have given up his attempt at the tough guy image for the second week in a row and his going for the crooner look. Randy calls him Dawg and Paula answers. The two-headed monster Rakara likes it – me not so much. Better than he’s been but I’m still not feeling the love for Anoop.

Adam is doing Born to be Wild by Steppenwolf from the movie “Easy Rider”. We are back to over the top Adam! Guess he figures he’s got a pass to do whatever he wants. He looks like a cross between a young Elvis and Joey Ramone. Ok yes it’s over the top and he gets crazy with his vocals but dude does have some pipes. Adam really knows how to work a stage. Fido is jumping all over the place like she’s in heat. Simon throws a bucket of cold water on her. And why is her tongue blue? Raspberry Jolly Ranchers? And why are raspberry candies always blue and not red? Paula says “You dare to dance in the path of greatness...Fortune favors the brave". She’s on a roll tonight folks. Ok all you Adam Haters, here is your chance to let loose.

Matt is doing “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman” by Bryan Adams from ‘Don Juan de Marco’. TWO Bryan Adams’ songs in one night? Come one people. I could go all decade without hearing a Bryan Adams song. There have been 1000’s of movies made over the years with great songs in them and we get 2 Bryan Adams songs! He’s sitting at the piano tonight and thankfully has lost that fruity hat. It wasn’t working for you Matt. He does a pleasant soulful version. Nothing special but not awful. Randy is not ‘feeling’ it. Kara manages to get ‘chops’ in.

Danny is doing “Endless Love” by Lionel Ritchie from the movie ‘Endless Love’. I HATE THIS SONG MORE THAN BRYAN ADAMS’ SONGS. Apparently Danny has lost his designer eye-glass endorsement deal. This is painfully sappy. If any males out there vote for him tonight they should have their man card revoked forever. I think he should have done the version from ‘Happy Gilmore’, you know, the one with the Zamboni driver singing. That would have made me actually like Danny. The poodle is ecstatic as usual. Simon doesn’t seem to like it as much but since Danny is one of the Chosen Ones he still endorses him.

Kris is doing “Falling Slowly” Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova from ‘Once’. He hemmed and hawed about whether or not to use the guitar and decided to go guitar-less. I slept through this song and I like Kris. It’s not that the song was bad, it just didn’t excite me. Randy didn’t like it but Kara loved it. Kara calls it an obscure song choice…um…it won an Oscar dear.

A bizarre Burger King commercial with the theme being “square butts’. That creepy burger king guy is singing it. Does he look like a pervert or what? Keep your kids away from Burger King people.

Lil is in the pimp spot tonight. Idol is desperate to have her do well and keep 2 chicks around for awhile. Lil is sporting her 42nd different hairdo this season. Seriously, I’ve been keeping count. She’s doing “The Rose” by Bette Midler from ‘The Rose’. It bored me to tears (well almost to tears, I don’t really cry, just ask my wife). Sam loved it. Paula goes on and on. I think she liked it but I’m not really sure. Sir Simon rolls his eyes at Paula and then Simon lays into Lil real good. And Lil gets all feisty back – cat fight. Simon’s right, it wasn’t good.

Ok we are done. No real stinkers tonight. And Anoop may have sung his way back into the Top 5. We shall see. Does Anoop have a big fan base?

Remarkably the show goes over the top of the hour once again. One less singer and only two judges talking and still they can’t get it right. Could we please fire the producer or director or keeper of the clock?

My quick hit guess at the performance rankings.

1. Allison
2. Adam
3. Kris
4. Anoop
5. Matt
6. Danny
7. Lil