Wednesday, February 4, 2009

American Idol Night - '09

The obnoxious auditions are over and we are in Hollywood for hopefully some decent performances. There 147 left….some have to be good, don’t they?

A preview of very emotional people. Don’t these people have anything else in their lives? They really need to chill.

They all went through idol boot camp and got tarted-up and pimp-out…plus they had vocal coaching. And extra help from a plastic faced Barry Manilow. He’s had more work than Randy

Here’s the deal, they are singing a capella and they get a yes or no. Then we do the ‘half of you take a step forward’ thing.

This is too random and fast to name each singer. We are going through half people tonight. Let’s just mention any standouts or train wrecks

1. Daniel or Daniel – train wreck and potty mouth
2. Pierced face and ear dude with a headband and who cries like a little girl….and somehow gets through
3. Jasmine Murray – 16yo pretty girl with a big voice
4. Rose aka hippy chick with questionable hygiene habits and who doesn’t own shoes or a bra and who bawls too. But she will live to fight another day. Since she’s gonna be in Hollywood for awhile longer maybe she can hit a Prada shoe store and Fredericks of Hollywood for some shopping.
5. Jorge our Latin Bo-Hunk lets it fly good
6. Anoop Desai aka Noop Dog does a fine job
7. Norman aka Nick aka Norman. Mr. split-personality is back with his craziness and shimmery shirt and headband. Reminds me of The Donk when he went through his Flash Dance period. Well scratch me behind the ears and call me Sparky, he gets through. At least he livens up the place

Day 2 – the other half

1. Jackie Tone aka muffin-top girl from the auditions is dressed like a hooker tonight in leather mini-skirt and black go-go boots. She sounds a bit like Janis Joplin and gets to Die Another Day
2. Danny Gokey, the dude whose wife recently died, does a Seal song and sounds lame to me…but the judges…love him…go figure. Guess that’s why I’m not in the music business
3. Here is BG (bikini girl). She’s still a tart and still kissing on Seacrest. She does Breathe by Faith Hill. She’s actually a decent singer. Kara gets all ‘cat-fighting’ again. Paula joins in. Simon sticks up for her…again and of course Randy joins with Simon. Kara takes a few parting cheap-shots.
4. Jesus gets the axe….not a smart move judges. Jesus is not happy. You don’t want to tick off the Almighty. You aren’t going to like a plague of frogs or locusts descending on Hollywood. The rest of us won’t mind though
5. Oil –rigger dude Jeremy does well….too bad we need people pumping out more oil, gas prices are going back up lately
6. Tatted-up pink haired chick. Emily, sings a different song at the last moment…never a good idea. The judges are disappointed in her…but how much? Not enough to send her home
7. David Osmond gets through too. Did y’all know he’s from Salt Lake City?
8. Simon and Paula fight over…um I have actually I have no idea what they are fighting about

147 singers in an hour show and we only saw a few…lots of filler tonight?!

Tomorrow night is the ‘Group’ round. Hasta La Vista


momto5minnies said...

I liked that SEAL guy.
Also good was a guy named Steven Fowler ... sang a Stevie Wonder song.

I like this part of American IDOL!

the donk said...

dont hate on the flashdance period in my life... i was SO BOSS!!!

btw, i am rocking the pink pants today!!!!

Emily C said...

The only reason my family and i are watching AI this season is because we loved your commentaries in 08!