American Idol Night - '09

Round 2 of the final 36. 12 more contestants tonight.

As usual, I apologize in advance for all errors, typos and grammatical mistakes. I apologize in particular to my 8th grade English teacher Miss Snodgrass. She had a face like J. Edgar Hoover but could conjugate the hell out of a verb.

In honor of Ash Wednesday I’ll try and be nicer tonight .

And we are off – but first a word from the judges. Randy and his colored beads says something, Kara and her curly hair say something, Paula and her cleavage say something and Simon scowls at everyone….good times.

Jasmine Murray the 16 year old is up first. She’s singing Sarah Bareilles’ “Love Song”. She looks pretty but her voice sounds ‘light’ if that makes any sense. It’s a pretty voice just thin and not mature yet. Randy says it was ‘pitchy’. I thought he had retired that dog-worn phase. Kara isn’t sure either and Paula says she’d like Baklava and is waiting for the mothership from the planet Vulcan to pick her up. Simon is disappointed because he likes her but says she doesn’t have a great voice. But has a great future. Jasmine is gracious about it.

And since this is a 2-hour show we have to have a break now. Time to check the Maryland Duke score. Opps game isn’t on until 9.

Matt “The Dueling Piano Player” Giraud is behind door #2. He’s gonna try and do a soulful version of Viva Vida by Coldplay, Another guy who doesn’t seem to have enough of a voice. Um…where is his piano? Not hate-able just not Wow! I give him props for changing it up some and not trying to imitate Coldplay. Kara makes sense, Paula speaks in tongues, Simon ‘The only Judge that Matters’ says it verged on the horrible, Randy agrees with Simon…thanks for the input.

So two people down and we haven’t been subjected to the Burgundy Crushed Velvet Hooker Couch with the Parents. Thank you FOX!!!!! Enough of us must have pissed and moaned that they stuck the parents back in the audience

Ok each person sings for 1:30 or so. Times 12 people = 18 minutes. So 18 minutes of actual singing and the rest is filler and commercials. So couldn’t this be an hour show? Yeah I know it’s the #1 show each week and they’d make it 3 hours if they could. I can’t blame them for wanting to make a buck or three.

Jeanine Vailes from our nation’s capitol is up next and I remember nada about her. She’s singing Maroon 5’s “This Love” Now the way she is dressed, she should go to the hooker coach. That jean skirt would be too short on my 5 year-old. She was AWFUL and won’t be back. Simon and Randy hate the song but love her legs, duh they are nice gams. Kara says so much about her is pretty but doesn’t like the song either. Paula and her school-girl bangs may or may not have said something.

Game still isn’t on. Gotta find something else to watch during the commercials. Ok UConn and Marquette is on. That’s better.

Nick/Normund Gentle - He’s doing The Normund tonight. With Tatiana gone I just might have to vote for him. I have no idea what he is wearing; white coat, shinny shirt, shorts, brown dress socks and running shoes. He looks like a gay Don Johnson. Ok he lost the white jacket and now he’s got the shimmer-shirt on that looks like a fish lure. He’s singing to the chicks and they love it. Simon prays he doesn’t make it through to the next round. Reverse psychology by Simon to really keep him? Randy calls it the most entertaining performance ever. We really need to keep him around. Everyone else is boring so far. Kara says, oh it doesn’t matter. Paula is looking more and more droopy eyed and loopy. Like a middle-aged drunken Barbie who has had too much face work done. Well that Lenten resolution to be nicer to Paula didn’t make it very far. Man they are talking to him a lot. I really think they want him through. Ok that’s just me hoping they want him.

Basketball time

Another 16 year old. This one looks like a fake red haired Morticia from Addams Family, complete with the black nail polish. Her name is Allison Iraheta. And she’s singing “Alone” by Heart. Not sure I like a 16 year-old looking and singing like that but other than Nick/Norman, who is in his own category, she’s the best so far….not saying much at this point. Randy says she ‘blew it out the box’…3 times he says it. Kara says she has serious chops. Paula breaks out the old “you could sing the telephone book”. We heard this 100’s of times last year. Paula may actually be sitting on a phone book, she looks higher tonight. So to speak. Simon calls her the best by a mile.

Ok we are getting two in a row before a break. Is FOX having trouble selling Ad’s during the depression?

Kris Allen is another one I remember nothing about. He is singing Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror”. Didn’t he go to Idol 101 class and learn that you don’t sing Michael, Mariah or Whitney? It’s alright not great. Kinda boring and forgettable. Why do people sing MJ? Kara is not impressed, Paula disagrees completely and says he nailed it, Simon agrees with………Paula! And he gets a kiss from her for it. Interesting. Does Simon mean it or did he just want a smooch from Paula…no couldn’t be that. Randy liked it too. So Kara and I are the only two who didn’t like it.

Break time.

Megan Corkrey is the one tattooed arm chick. Not one arm like the bad guy in The Fugitive, one arm has tattoos and the other doesn’t. She’s singing Corrine Bailey Ray’s “Put Your Record On”. She’s got a pretty face and fabulous hair but that one tatted arm is distracting. But I like her voice. The little hip wiggle dancing thing needs to go. She looks dorky. Paula – do I really need to write what she says anymore? What Is In Her Big Plastic Cup? Are those real? Simon likes it ok but says it could have been better, Randy has a huge watch on, Kara calls her a ‘package artist’ and says she could be a radio/video star.

Ok Maryland vs Puke is on now. Die Dukies! My sis and BIL are at the game. She’s a MD grad and he’s a Blew-Chunks Devil grad.

Matt Breitzke aka The Welder is up next. I’ll probably vote for him just because he looks like he could beat me up. He plays the ‘I’m doing it for my kids’ card. Right. He’s singing Tonic’s ‘If you could only see’. He’s ok but the problem is I’m thinking and digging the arrangement better than the vocals. Plus he’s lacking that star look. Has more of that cage death match look. Simon likes him but is frustrated that he didn’t sound better. RanKarula follows along with The Simon.

Dos in a row again

Jessie Langesh is doing ‘Bette Davis Eyes’ by Kim Carnes. She’s wearing a sweater that someone stole a sleeve off of and jeans. I hate hate hate hate this song. And Jessie annoys when talking but I’m actually liking her singing tonight. Maybe that flu I had a few weeks back has returned. RanKarula - Randy likes it but wasn’t blown out of the box. I don’t know what that means. Kara says what Kara says. Paula, Paula needs to be canned. How does she keep her job. She obviously has pictures of Simon and The Donk wearing Tutu’s together. Simon calls her forgettable and too cool for school.

MD is up 16 – 11.

Kai Kalama is wearing an old lady knit hat for his interview. Kai is singing "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted" by Jimmy Ruffin. He looks like he could be a singer or actor. He has an interesting voice but I find myself bored. I start to clean the lint out of my bellybutton and wonder if I left my curling iron on. It picks up during the end. RanKarula – Kara goes with ‘pitch issues’, Paula babbles, Randy pulls ‘safe performance’ from the AI cliché manual….Simon calls it corny and says it should at a hotel or wedding and says he is a backup singer.

MD up 22 – 19.


Mishavonna Henson is up, I hope she leaves cause typing her name is a pain in the rear. She’s singing ‘Drops of Jupiter’ by Train. Train is right as in train-wreck. I used to like this song. Since its Ash Wednesday - she has nice hair and the she gets a bit better at the end. RaKarula - Paula imitates my 3 year-old with the delayed speech problem, Randy, I forget what he and Kara said. Simon likes her voice but not her performance. Paula has her head down and is either sneezing or doing lines of coke or dropped an earring in her cleavage, in which case we will be here all night.

Mayland tied at 34 at the half.

Adam “May Kay” Lambert is going to do “Satisfaction” by The Stones. I like Adam and I’m sure he will make it to the top 12 on his looks alone – teen girls are going to vote for him, but I don’t like his version of the song. But I do like is voice/act and think he will be around for a long time. Paula is about ready to jump his, young enough to be her son, bones. I’m surprised she didn’t strip her clothes off and throw them at him. Simon is torn, part bad part good – I agree. Randy says he is a combo of Edward (Twilight), Steven Tyler and Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy for you geezers out there).

I’m going with Nick/Normund, Adam and Megan getting through. With Jasmine and Allison as possibility.

I’ve totally killed my cell phone battery voting for Nick/Norman. But I got in about 100 votes before the phone died. Of course I did the same thing last week with two cell phones for Tatiana the Terrible and it didn’t work.

Ugh! Maryland lost. Now I'm depressed. I'm going to go watch videos of Norman on YouTube and cheer myself up.

That’s it for tonight. Adios, Goodnight and God Bless