Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Never Too Old to go to Keggers

73-Year-Old Basketball Player Ruled Ineligible Over Credits
The Hartford Courant
February 22, 2009
Fifty-three years after getting the collegiate boot as the fall guy on a prank gone bad, 73-year-old college basketball player Ken Mink is again on the wrong side of a controversy.

Mink says he has been ruled ineligible to play by the National Junior College Athletic Association, and Roane State, the junior college team he plays for in Harriman, Tenn., will have to forfeit his last game.

At issue is the minimum amount of credits an athlete must pass in a semester to keep his eligibility. Mink carried the minimum 12 hours in the fall semester and was doing well in all but Spanish.

Mink and coach Randy Nesbit decided to enroll Mink in another class just in case he failed Spanish. Roane State had no courses left with openings at the time, but Mink was able to enroll in a sociology class through Strayer University.

"I got a B in the course and did well in all the others except Spanish," he said.

The situation was compounded because when his grade was reported, the Strayer class was listed as being completed Jan. 22 instead of Dec. 22.

No hablo espanol. Donde está mi cerveza?

So instead of studying Spanish, what was Mr Mink doing? Partying with the college coeds? Playing Frisbee football? Jamming in a college band? Waiting in line for the Early Bird special at Cracker Barrel? Or maybe he was just napping each afternoon.

Not being the best of college students, I laugh at Mr Mink with empathy. I mean who hasn't had trouble with a college class? It took me 3 times to pass Calculus. But why at the age of 73 was he taking Spanish anyways? Planning on moving to Bolivia? Wants to work part time at Taco Bell? Has the hots for Shakira and wants to impress her with his language Skillz that Killz?

There are plenty of easy courses at every college. Why not take Survey of Art or History of Motion Pictures? Here are a few actual classes I took in college: Skiing, Techniques of Football, Tennis and my favorite - Puppets and Puppetry. It was cool. I made a puppet of the 3 Little Pigs, a Mouse (not sure why) and one of Robert Smith of The Cure. That was the best puppet ever. I'd post a picture of it but someone I'm related to by marriage threw it away cause it frightened her.
I'm pretty sure I saw an old-guy in the background of the infamous Michael Phelps photo. I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

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