Friday, February 27, 2009

American Idol Night - '09

Results Night from Round 2 of These Are the Best 36 Singers in America?

So before the Filler Show of all Filler Show’s start. Lets guess who is making it through. Top Male Vote Getter with be Adam “I Should be in Cats” Lambert even though I want Normund to get it. Top Female Vote Getter will be Megan “I Could Only Afford Tattoos on One Arm” Corkrey even though I want Normund to get it – he actually might have a better chance at getting that than top male. And to round out the night our Third Wheel will be Allison “I Have Awkward Social Skills” Iraheta even though Normund would be a better wheel. But moe than one dude might get through since it’s mainly chicks who vote. In that case Allison or Megan could be out and maybe someone like Kris Allen could get in.

This is going to be painful people. But if we all stick together and have perseverance (that and some vodka, ludes and firearms) we can make it the whole hour.

And Here’s Ryan giving us, the voters, some schmaltzy speech

The three “winners” from last week are here sitting on the Star Trekish bar stools.

. First we get the judges opinions on last night’s performances. Paula, fresh from rehab just waves. Kara the boring heat nodes her head. Randy says, sorry I didn’t hear what Randy said. I was too busy trying to figure out what face work he had down between tonight and last night. Simon, the only judge who matters, scowls and tell Ryan to get on with it.

Filler #1 – the how did they get here montage

Filler #B – the worst moment of every results show. The truly painful “Group Sing”. Here is where the firearms come in – kidding – sorta. Their outfits are very colorful. Kina the Brady Punch meets High School Musical. The Welder Dude looks out sorts. In case anyone cares they sang, it’s Ne-Yo's “Closer”.

I’ve never been so happy to see commercials in my whole life.

Ok we are back. Time to wax a few people. Ok a take that back.

Filler #3 – “Highlights” from last night. Ok it wasn’t all bad. Gotta to see Normund call Simon sappy pants.

Filler #D – Ryan interviews the contestants.

And finally we get Allison, Jesse and Matt brought down to see who gets the Steel Bird Bath of Honor……..and it’s, duh Allison. No real suspense there. So Allison gets to sing that Heart number again. I really like her voice. It’s different, good different. That dye job on the hair is distracting. I think I need to wear my shades. Now did Seacrest say she was the highest Female vote getter or just that she stays? Dang I can’t remember. If she’s not the #1 chick tonight then that means we have another girl getting through. Curse you ADD.

Potty break time. Ok what did I miss? Oh it’s still commercials.

Ok here is Megan and Kris with a ‘K’. Megan was totally better last night but you never know with voters. Ok wait a minute Matt and Jeannie are brought down. Alas only for a moment, both are sent packing. So back to Megan and Kris. We must have a lot of time to fill cause Kara is rambling right along. Simon wants her to shut up and so do I…enough already. And it’s….KRIS! Ok I didn’t see that coming. Thought he might get in but not over Megan. I sure hope the judges bring Megan back. Curse you female teen voters. O’bomination can’t you correct this injustice for us? First Michael Sarver last week and now Kris gets through this week, can we get a law to ban teen girls from voting?

So I was figuring for a Adam was a shoe-in. Does that mean the suspense is over? Should I just tune back at 8:57 to see Adam get the last spot?

Filler #5 – and “Idol Retrospective” set to What a Wonderful World….folks sometimes its not wonderful.

Filler #F - last year’s top 10 contestant; Brooke The Virgin Nanny. Sans shoes again. Sitting at the piano singing her new single that was just released. It’s a song by Heart called “Hold Up”. It’s pleasant but unlike my 12 year old daughter I’m not rushing to iTunes to down load it. Heck for a buck you can get a double cheeseburger instead of a song.

And we are back from the break and the last 5 are brought out.

Mishavonna, Kai, Jasmine, Adam and Normund The Man! That crazy Ryan talks to only Mishavonna, Kai and Jasmine and then boots them off. What a sneak. Like we didn’t see that coming. And of course he’s not going to tell us until after another set of ads.

Ok we are back. Now let’s get this over with and send Adam through already. Ryan tries unsuccessfully to draw it out. And Nick/Normund’s Idol day are over. Adam is in and does his slightly over the top version of “Satisfaction” again. But hey let’s face it, it’s not like Mick Jagger wasn’t over the top at times.

That’s it and not a moment too soon. Paula is in the bag or something. Her eyes are slits and she looks totally spaced. Come to think of it, she didn’t really talk much at all tonight. Plus very low-cut shirt is in danger of sliding all the way down and releasing the girls on live TV.

So we have Allison, Kris and Adam on to the Top 12. With my hopes that Megan could be a wildcard selection by the judges. Please Simon. I’ll detail your Rolls.

So I was 2 for 3 tonight. Better than last week. This is looking like a very white Idol, not that there is anything wrong with that.

That’s it for tonight. Adios, Goodnight and God Bless

1 comment:

Adamgv said...

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From what I heard on the samples site, they sound really good.

Introducing the new Christian National Anthem: Guns & Jesus.