Top 10 Guys
In a change up the guys are going tonight instead of the gals as scheduled. It appears that Crystal Bowersox had an unexplained medical issue (best wishes to Crystal one of my favorites). We are hopeful that the sudden change doesn’t make this even more of a disaster than last week. How bad is Tim Urban going to be tonight after losing that extra day of practice?
Alright time for some of the guys (and the gals tomorrow night) to step up and impress the judges and voters. It will be tough there is a very large dearth of challenge in this year’s crop.
5 minutes of mindless banter with the judges. Ellen, who I can’t stand, actually has a few funny lines.
Michael “I Abandon My Wife During Labor” Lynche – “This is a Man’s World” by James Brown – Michael is wearing a black suit. Man he is huge. Where does one get a suit that large? It can’t be off the rack. It is a nice vocal performance by Micheal and he looks comfortable on stage and like he is having a great time. Not my type of song at all but the audience likes him and I’m sure the voters will keep him around for a long while after that performance. And the judges love him too, including Simon the only judge that matters. Michael thanks for setting of the night on a good foot. Grade B+ it would be higher if I liked the song.
John “Token Asian” Park – “Gravity” by John Mayer - Will John give us a better performance than last week or will he try and get by on his pretty-boy looks for another week? Why the lack of upbeat fun songs? Well at least I can get a short nap during his songs. This one is better than last week when I gave him a D- but it’s not terribly original and not as good as the original, not a good thing on Idol. As Randy is want to say, it’s pitchy in places. And speaking of Randy he agrees with me (I rock). And sadly Ellen and Kara agree with me. But I take comfort in the fact that Simon does too. Grade D+
Casey “Kara’s Toy” James – "I Don't Want to Be" by Gavin DeGraw - Will we get Kara and Casey jokes tonight? Does a fish tread water? Casey is rocking the electric guitar tonight. Finally someone rocking out. I may have to change my opinion of Casey, at least a bit. I don’t think he has the nice voice in the world but is it really necessary for a rocker? Ok so far everyone is getting higher grades from me. And once again Randy agrees with me. Should I be worried? The cougar is a bit cranky tonight. Simon doesn’t think he has the grit to be a rocker. Grade B+
Alex “Mullet Boy” Lambert – "Everybody Knows" by John Legend - Man this kid is nervous in his interview. He’s got a guitar which might help but the clothes are scary bad. His voice is quirky, which is fine, but it’s not quirky in a way I like. Worst of the night so far but it is early. He was better than last week and didn’t puke or wet himself from nerves. Randy and I part company as he likes it a lot. So does Ellen and her butch Billy Idol wannabe likes it too and so does the annoying bimbo. Simon thinks he has improved and gives him some advice. Grade C+
Todrick “The Thief” Hall – “What’s Love Got to do With it?” by Tina Turner - Kelly Clarkson? Tina Turner? Does Todrick own any CD’s from dudes? This is so much worse than the original. Why did the judges put the stealer of little kid’s money into the Top 24? I apologize to Alex; this is the worst song of the night. Randy doesn’t love it and says he changes songs to much, no kidding. Billy Idol wannbe is harsh too. Kara doesn’t like it and Simon says he should stick to dancing and not sing. Cool, maybe we will be through with him. Todrick’s only hope is that Tim Urban is hideous again. Todrick was a church singer? Thou shall not steal. Grade F
Jermaine “Who?” Sellers – “What’s Going On?” by Marvin Gaye - Jermaine is wearing footsie pj’s exactly like my 10 year old son’s. In the interview, not the performance. This is like Marvin Gaye light or extra light. Why do people try and sing Marvin? And what’s up with his hair? That was truly bad - the song and the hair. One of the worst performances ever on Idol. Between Todrick and Jermaine, John may have just bought himself another week. And Jermaine won’t shut his trap. Grade F
Andrew “Danny Gokey 2.0” Garcia “You Give me Something” by James Morrison - Andy the dork break dances? Go figure. We are back to the slow boring ballads again. Dude has got to change is look, seriously. One word for this performance – BORING. Randy is not pleased or impressed but tries to make excuses for him since he is one of the Judge’s Chosen One’s. Ellen and Kara are not digging it either. Simon too is frustrated and says his lack of good song choice is becoming a problem - Grade C-
Aaron “Archie 2.0” Kelly – “My Girl” by The Temptations - ok it starts out a bit rough vocally and goes down from there. And he dances like a white boy. He is definitely Archie 2.0 or Archie Light. Randy and Kara like it??? Please guys. Does Aaron have pictures of Kara and Randy together? Or does Kara just like jailbait? Simon brings us back to earth and says he took two steps backwards. Grade D+
Tim “I’m Still in this thing?” Urban – “Come on get Higher” by Matt - I hope for Tim’s sake this isn’t a train wreck like last week. That was painful to watch. While he’s not great this week at least it’s better than last week. I mean I didn’t have to get high to listen to it. The judges rough him up and seem to want him voted off. Except for Simon!!!??? Wow Simon sticks up for him Grade C-
Lee “Sleepy” Dewyze – “Lips of an Angel” by Hinder - Lee is in the pimp spot tonight getting a bit of love from the Idol powers that be. Sounds like Lee was a bad-boy in high school and got sent to reform school. I’m starting to like this guy. I like Lee’s voice and this song. He gets a bit rough around the edges with the high parts and he looks like he's gonna hurl from nerves, but overall one of my favorites. So let’s see what the judges think. RanEllAra liked it and Simon says he has the best vocals of all but he looks terrified up there. Grade A-
Sigh – nothing awesome tonight. Michael and Lee were pretty good and Casey wasn’t bad but that’s about it.
Quick Pick on the 2 to get booted Todrick and Jermaine. Another possibility is John or maybe Tim