Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Maybe it was Esskay and they only like Oscar Meyer

Why is everyone so afraid of Pork Products?

First we had Weiner-Gate in Philly and now we have Bacon-Gate in Ohio.

WEST CHESTER, Ohio -- One of Rep. John Boehner’s local offices was evacuated Monday afternoon after a suspicious package arrived in the mail.

Staffers received the letter from Georgia by U.S. mail. After noticing it was leaking an oily substance, they called the Capitol police in Washington, who advised them to evacuate as a precaution and call in local authorities.

Ok first off, why are people in West Chester, OH (wherever that is) calling the cops in DC? What in the heck are they supposed to do from 300 miles away? Tell them to fry it up and make BLT's out it? I mean if you lived in Houston would you call the cops in Detroit if you were being mugged or if you lived in Chicago and your baseball team hadn't won a world series in a 100 years would you call the LA police for help? Plus it’s not like they called the FBI or something. They called the Capitol Police. These are the ones who keep little kids on field trips behind the velvet ropes so as not to disturb all the important work going on at the Capitol (ok that was hard to type with a straight face). Calling them is like calling Barney Fife to help catch a serial killer.

After an X-ray analysis, investigators determined the package contained bacon.
Boehner voted twice last week for a $700 billion bailout of the financial industry, which passed Friday and was signed into law by President George W. Bush.
Some critics have charged that the legislation contained unnecessary giveaways, which are sometimes referred to as “pork barrel” spending.

I just fine this whole thing hilarious. Mailing bacon to a congressman! Classic! I wished I had thought of it.

No injuries were reported, and the incident remains under investigation.

Wow that was close. Cause we all know how harmful bacon can be. It can cause a mean paper cut. I'm sure they will track down the poor dude that sent it and arrest him on some made up charge. Maybe using the US mail for unauthorized transportation of swine. Maybe I shouldn't assume it was the US mail. Now way it would have gotten there this soon after the vote last week. It must have been UPS or FedEx.

Me? What would I have done? Fried up some eggs and hash-browns to go with it of course.

Boehner is from Ohio, same place as crazy dress up like a cow lady. Coincidence. I think not.

I'll spare everyone another tirade about what a bunch of sissies we have become.

Our public servants hard at work keeping us safe from menacing pork products. At least they didn't blow the bacon up like they did the poor defenseless weiners in Philly

They just went a little Hog Wild in OH. What a load of Hogwash. So this wasn’t Ham-Let. Sorry to Boar you. But don’t be Bacon me mad. That’s enough for now; I need to go watch the Squeal of Fortune.

Hogs and Kisses


Sam said...

you are better than a cup of coffee...thanks for making me laugh!!!+JMJ+

Mau said...

Hysterical! I can't come up with any pork puns this early in the day, but thanks for the laugh.

Rob said...

Sam - TTN

Mau - if you come up with any let me know. pork puns were a lot harder than cow puns

Colleen said...

Yup, I agree, I lived in Ohio for college/grad school and their are tons of crazies out there ;-)

By the way, what does "TTN" mean?

Now I'm gonna go "pig out" on some breakfast...lame, I know, but I tried!

Kathy said...

Oh dear. I may have actually injured myself laughing at that. And now I need a BLT.

Catherine said...

So it's really like in the movies in US! It's so 'bureaucratic' to make them come from Washington! Did they arrive like CTU in 24? : )
Here, we deal with problem differently. J.Chirac who was attending a public opening, passed someone who told him "jackass !" or something like that (I'm not an expert in american slang, so I let you imagine). Chirac shaked the man's hand, and answered him :"Pleased to meet you (implied Jackass),(me, let me introduce ) I am Jacques Chirac". This man hasn't been arrested at all. It was settled with a smile.