Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I Wish I Was an Oscar Meyer Weiner

Well maybe not so much now. At least not in Philly. They don't like them there. They blow-up weiners there. Probably the cheesesteaks did it, outta jealousy.


PHILADELPHIA (AP) - After a bomb scare at the Philadelphia Phillies' ballpark, authorities pointed the finger at a fuzzy green suspect - The Phillie Phanatic.
Hours before the Phillies-Atlanta Braves' game on Wednesday night, a film crew shot a commercial of the mascot shooting heavily wrapped hot dogs from a launcher.
But someone inadvertently left three of the duct taped hot dogs outside the ballpark, sparking security fears. Stadium employees were evacuated and the bomb squad was called in.
Only after the packages were blown up did authorities realize they'd just exploded some sausages.


Have we become such a nation of weenies (pun intended) that a few duct taped hot dogs brings out the bomb squad? Do we see terrorists behind every tree, bun and frankfurter now? How many times are we going to cry wolf before people finally chill?

And I know what people are going to say, 'better safe than sorry'. You know who says that? Pansies! That's who!

How long is this going to go on? Until we are totally paranoid police state? Well we are getting there. It would be funny to see us become like our former enemy, the Soviet Union. Not funny ha-ha, funny uh-oh.

We are all ready treated like prisoners in our own airports by the brainless thugs who work for the TSA. Stand in line here, papers please, now go here, now take off your shoes and belts, what's this nail clippers? Now go over there, get striped-searched and get felt-up, complain and get tasered or worse. When did we become a nation of eunuchs? Are we related to the same people that founded this country? Fought the British (twice)? Pushed the Indians out of the way (to put it mildly)? Tamed the wilderness?

Just you watch today it's blowing-up our weiners - tomorrow they will be closing down the newspapers, eliminating free-speech, imprisoning people without cause, pulling the tags of their mattresses, going through the express line with more than 10 items, stealing our milk money. Oh wait they are already doing that with their bailout plan. What's that? It failed? There is a God. Don't worry you bailout junkies, the Feds will be back with one hand held out and the other holding a gun.

Anyway people, leave the defenseless hot dogs alone. What did they ever do to you? I mean other than all the health problems they cause.

1 comment:

carlo said...

Congrats 4 your beautiful family!