Top 12 Young Ladies
(as always these are random semi-live unedited Ritalin-free thoughts. I apologize in advance for the typos, stupid opinions and offending you)
Seacoast – “this is not just a stage…” Seafoam intones while walking down a paddle-line of the contestants. Ryan has an all black 80’s new-wave look going. Not bad actually.
The judges – all looking reasonably normal tonight. Simon tells what we already have heard, that it is the girls year to win it. We are “treated” to a fake tape of Simon feeling up Ellen – a lowlight this early in the season – sigh – the cheesy-meter is running high already. Could we please just let the girls sing? And please no SOB stories or more filler.
The girls will be singing songs from the Hot Billboard Singles from 1958-1972 and 2003-2010. And I’ll be assigning a grade to each performance.
1)Paige Miles – “All Right Now” by Free – Paige is doing a light and flat version of this former rocking song. It almost sounds as if the vocals are muffled or turned down. She does look cute and confident for what it’s worth. Simon says he likes her voice but not the song choice. Kara disagrees with Simon and liked it. Randy seemed to like it and Ellen, well it doesn’t matter. Paige informs when she is down that she has had to pee for about 5 hours. TMI. Now go potty girl. Its 8:17 and we have only had one song. Grade C-
2) Ashley Rodriguez – “Happy” by Leona Lewis – Ashley definitely has the look to go far. Once again the vocals are bit muffled and hard to hear. Is AI using a Mr. Microphone for the sound system this year? It was a pleasant if underwhelming performance. The 3 judges that don’t matter aren’t all that impressed either. And our judge that matters says she is going backwards and was not original and could be in trouble. I wouldn’t go that far, she’s too cute to get booted already. Yes we are that shallow. Grade D+
3) Janell Wheeler – “What About Love?” by Heart – in a possible strategic mistake of Titanic proportions, Jenell is wearing long pants and covering up her legs. Is she going to really just on her voice? Ugh I do not like Heart, maybe because I don’t have one. But I kinda like her version. She’s got a bit of a rough edge to her voice – in a good way. Randy doesn’t like the song choice but likes her voice and I find myself agreeing with Randy. Simon gives her a 65% but liked parts of it. Ellen and Kara both ‘like’ Janell. Grade C+
Holy cow we are taking a commercial break after each singer. I thought we were in a Depression? How can all these companies afford to advertize? What’s that? Sith Lord Obama has fixed the economy. Really? It was the high unemployment, lousy stock marked and massive home foreclosures that threw me.
4) Lilly Scott – “Fixing a Hole” by The Beatles – with the platinum hair and acoustic guitar is doing a really good job. She is someone I could actually listen too. She doesn’t look or sound like a typical Idolette. Pink is the new Black. Kara is the new Paula. I have no idea what she just said. All t he judges praise her for being different. But just you wait; they will turn against her for exactly the same reasons as the season continues. Grade A-
5) Katelyn Epperly – “Oh Darling” by The Beatles – Idol let her keep her crazy curls. Unlike Janell, Katelyn is showing a ton of leg. That should get the young males voting for her. I’m not crazy about the song choice but I do like her voice. Kara disses her makeover and her lipstick, whatever Kara. Kara then mouths and obscenity. Grade B.
6) Haeley Vaughn – “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” by The Beatles. 3 Beatles’ songs in a row? Who made up this order of performance? Listen the girl is only 16 so I need to be careful what I say but I really don’t know why she’s in the Top 24. She’s cute and bubbly but also annoying at times and her voice is grating on my ears like a listening to an Oprah show. It’s like a girl singing on her 16 birthday and her family indulging her and telling how wonderful she is. Kara, Ellen and Randy want her to work on her vocals. Simon says it was a mess and verging on a total disaster. Sadly for Haeley I agree with Simon. She could be one of the first two to go. Grade D-.
7) Lacey Brown – “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac – I like Lacey. She’s got a good voice and a cute look. I do not like this song but I’ll live. It was a blah performance though. Hopefully people will vote for her on possible potential. The judges hate it. Sadly I find myself agreeing with Kara. It will take hours of therapy to get over that. Grade D-.
A commercial for some movie with that dude who played a vampire in those awful Twilight movies. Where is Buffy when you need her?
8) Michelle Delamor – “Fallen” by Alicia Keyes – I know nothing about her. Did they show her at all during Hollywood Week? She’s a lovely girl with a confident look on stage and her voice is good too. Even with jeans on she is a Top 3 in the Idol Leg contest. The judges like it well enough but want more from her. They want her to take risks. Sadly I find myself agreeing with the judges again. Grade B+.
9) Didi Benami – "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michelson – now if she can just get through a song or interview without crying. Didi takes a song I like and manages to bore me to tears. I just may cry. The judges are not into it much either. Grade D+.
10) Siobhan Magnus – “Wicked Game” by Chris Isaac – I love this song! But I’m not sure if any young lady can do it justice. It’s a dark tough song to sing. More of a dude song. But Siobhan does a nice job on it. Great set of pipes. Hopefully she will pick a more upbeat rocking song next week. America will not vote for singers who choose dark ballads all the time. She is one of the top singers in the group but one of the least like a pop-star (that is a compliment) Kara kinda liked it and called her a quirky girl and says she feels real. Randy wants to her bigger songs from her. Ellen loves it. Simon is luke-warm but not to nasty so I won’t have to have his kneecaps broken. Grade B+
11) Crystal Bowersox – “Hand in my Pocket” by Alanis Morissette– listen I like Crystal and like this song but she’s hardly American Idol pop star material. More like a new-hippie singer song writer type. The kind that hang around college coffeehouses and pubs. Hopefully she will stay around for a few more weeks so we can hear what she can do. The judges like her but just like Lilly I predict they will turn on her. Simon starts to do that already in a limited way. Grade B.
12) Katie Stevens – “Feeling Good” by Michael Buble – another youngster but unlike Haeley she’s not a train wreck. She has a great voice but it’s kinda boring. Too slow. She sounds like she should be singing in a smoky lounge to middle-age losers. She does pick it up a bit towards the end. Ellen and I agree that it was too old for her. Simon is with us too. Grade C.
Quick prediction of the two to get the boot – Haeley Vaughn and Lacey Brown. I sure hope I’m wrong about Lacey and that the voters keep her around.