American Idol 2010

2 nights, 4 hours, 24 performances, 1 hour tonight, 4 to get the axe. At the end of the night I will have wasted 5 hours of my life that I can never get back. I could have been watching the winter Olympics and incestuous brother-sister ice dancers instead.

And it doesn’t really matter who gets the boot, as long as it’s not Siobhan of course, there were no great performances. As there ever been a less impressive Top 24.

Kris Allen the harmless vanilla Idol winner from last year and Allison Iraheta will be singing tonight. After having to put up with the likes of Flo Rida and Lady Gaga last year Kris and Allison will actually be a welcome change. But not to worry I’m sure Idol will scuzz it up as the season progresses. Maybe some Marilyn Manson, Ozzy Osborne, NWA and Nancy Pelosi.

Question: who looks manlier Seacrest or Ellen?

Question: has there ever been a more annoying person than Kara? If she was a dog would she even be on the show? Is she given a pass due to her looks?

The much dreaded Group Sing starts off things tonight. They are singing “American Boy” by Estelle. I confess I have never heard this song or of Estelle – wasn’t she the old Aunt on “Sanford and Son”? What? That was Aunt Esther. Oh anyway I sure hope the original was a lot better than this “Glee” wannabe version.

We are starting with the girls tonight. What is the over/under on how many fake outs Seabiscuit will try?

Siobhan is safe!!! Yes!

Haeley is safe???!!! R U KIDDING ME – she was awful

Michelle and Katelyn are safe.

Katie is safe and that means Janell is the first one to be given a ticket home. I really thought they would keep the pretty blondes for longer. Janell sings her Heart song one more time. And while she isn’t great she is way better than that cringe-inducing Haeley Vaughn.

Allison Iraheta is back with us and singing her new song “Scars”. Allison was one of my favorites from last year and it’s good to hear her sing again. I love her voice but the song…well it’s not my style but so what. Hopefully the girls are paying attention and learning from Allison.

Back to the whacking.

Paige is safe.

Lacey is safe after Seafoam fake out number 1. Cool I like Lacey.

Lilly is also safe. Another one I like.

Crystal, who looks a bit cleaner tonight, lives to fight another week.

That leaves Ashley and Didi – so another pretty girl is going to get the heave-ho. And I am surprised it’s Didi that is safe. I thought for sure Ashley would stay around longer than this. I mean I know she was bad but I really thought she would hang longer.

I swear on my mother’s grave (what’s that? My mother is still living…oh…well you get the point) that Ashley and Janell are way better than Haeley. And I will be proven as the weeks go by and you people have to listen to Haeley again.

Dude killing time.

Tiny Mike is safe.

John Park is staying after fake out number 2.

Aaron Kelly (Archuleta 2.0) is staying with us also.

Toderick, stealer of little kids’ money, is safe.

So either Joe or Tim is done. And drum roll please...Holy Mother of Pearl it’s Joe??!! Really? I mean I didn’t like Joe’s performance either but Tim was really bad. Guess the tweens voted him through on looks. Even Tim looks like he’s in shock that he is staying and almost passes out. Or maybe its fear because he’s going to have to sing in front of 25 million people again. Joe sings goodbye.

And we are down to one more to be let go and I haven’t predicted anything correctly this week :P

Kris Allen is back and talking about is visit to Haiti. So Kris has been doing good and helping people out. If you want to buy Kris’ song from tonight the mullah will go to help out or you can donate directly. Kris is singing “Let it Be” and doing a nice job I might add.

Ok lets wrap this puppy up.

Casey is safe – the rest of his family looks dirty too.

Jermaine made it though somehow too.

Lee will be staying too

Andy Boy is safe too

So we are down to Tyler and Alex. And Tyler is gone and Alex is in safe and does a Tim Urban and almost faints too. Tyler whines a bit about the judges not helping out enough. Go home whiner. I’m done with you.

Tyler sings us out.

So I’m 0-4 tonight and we are done. See ya

PS - I still can’t believe Haeley and Tim are still around. Curse you Vote for the Worst