'Idol' contestant Joanna Pacitti is disqualified
LOS ANGELES (AP) - An "American Idol" contestant who made the show's top 36 was disqualified. In its press released issued Wednesday night announcing the 36 contenders, Fox TV said that Joanna Pacitti was "ineligible to continue." No reason was given.
Felicia Barton of Virginia Beach, Va., replaced Pacitti, a Philadelphia native, in the top 36.
The show announced the semifinalists Wednesday night, then later released an update saying it had cut Pacitti loose and subbed in Barton, a 26-year-old married mom.
Pacitti, 23, could not immediately be reached for comment.
A few of the contestants in Tuesday night's episode, including Pacitti, flubbed the lyrics but made it through to the next round.
Pacitti, who auditioned in Louisville, Ky., entered "Idol" with a showbiz resume. She had a record deal with Geffen and released an album in 2006. Billboard reports it sold more than 16,000 copies. "American Idol" judge Kara DioGuardi recognized Pacitti when she auditioned in Louisville, Ky.
She also starred in "Annie" on Broadway as a young girl, and sang on the soundtracks for the movies "Legally Blonde" and "Bratz." Britney Spears' tune "Out From Under," from her latest album, was first performed by Pacitti on the "Bratz" soundtrack.
All that experience was enough to draw complaints from viewers who thought she was too polished for the top-rated show, which purports to pluck raw talent out of nowhere and turn them into stars.
However, eight seasons in, "Idol" has selected singers who have spent time in the recording studio.
Pacitti's situation echoed the controversy over last season's finalists, Carly Smithson and Kristy Lee Cook, who had previous record deals.
Smithson had recorded an album for MCA Records, while Cook once had a deal with Arista Nashville. Other experienced seventh-season singers include Robbie Carrico, who was in the pop group Boyz N Girlz United, and runner-up David Archuleta, who won "Star Search" in 2003.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
American Idol Night - '09
This is night 4 of week 2 of Hollywood Week. Yes the math doesn’t work but stretching the week out over 2 weeks and 4 shows makes lots of cents for FOX. Just think of all the ads they can sell for horrific movie previews, fast food restaurants and chewing gun. Seriously people what is with all the gum ads? Do idol-wannabes all have Halitosis?
Here are our illustrious judges; Simon “The only Judge that Matters” Cowell, Paula “I Drink too Much Cough Syrup and that’s why I Love Everyone” Abdul, Randy “I can’t even spell Dawg” Jackson and Kara “I can Display Cleavage Like Paula Too“ DioGuardi
We have many questions to answer tonight:
Will BFF's Jamar Rogers and Danny "#1 Sob Story of the Week" Gokey continue to be co-joined at the hip or will daring surgery be performed live on TV to separate them?
Will Tatiana the Terrible and Nathaniel “Drama Queen and all-around Queen” Marshall finally be given the boot, proving that God actually does watch American Idol and cares about it?
With the show being set in what looks like a Victorian Goth-like Mansion, will Paula dress like a vampire from Twilight?
Will we actually see singing tonight on a show that is supposed to be about singing?
Oh and who will be the final 36 contestants?
So on with the show…all 2 hours of it! Two hours of watching idolettes sit in front of the judges and be told yes or no. Why do we put ourselves through this?
The judges are in large velvety blood red chairs…looks like something my Italian grandmother had back in the old country. Paul’s hair looks great but not sure about the dress. Looks like a blue crepe paper bag. Randy is sporting some paisley from the 80’s but I like.
First up is Anoop Dawg. My man! And he’s in the final 36, duh!
Von “Cool First Name Boring Second Name” Smith. He bores me in general. I’d say he’s borderline. Borderline enough to get through.
Cody “I’d like to remake all 12 of the Friday the 13th movies” is forced to do a sing off. Alex Wamner…… is the second half of the sing off. Alex has the better voice but Cody has the ‘cooler’ look. Alex looks like a homeshool nerd – I should know. And Alex is through and Cody is going home.
Adam “Max Factor” Lambert is up next. He’s getting lots of airtime so he’s got to be going through. He looks real good in that Victorian room. Simon tries the old fake out acting like its bad news. But obviously he’s going through. He looks like a top 10 possibility.
Taylor Vaifuna is with us next. I like her and think she’s in. Randy does the hesitating thing (poorly) and gives her the good news
6 girls in 60 seconds. Jasmine Murray and Arianna and Casey Carson and Stevie Wright and Mishavonna and Megan Corkery are all in.
Joanna “The Ringer” Pacitti. I like her. Nice last name. Pretty girl. Not annoying. Even though she’s not na amateur I’d put her in. They drag it out and then let her in.
T’K Hash, Reggie and Chris somebody are all axed.
Kendall Beard is in and very emotional.
Jen Korbee is forced to sing…which means Kristen McNamara will be singing against her. I vote Jen. Let’s see…the judges babble/fight. Simon seems to want Jen The Very Attractive Blonde Girl. The judges keep dissing Kristen’s clothing choice. Kristen is in. Simon and I both disagree with the choice
Alexis “Two-Tone Hair” Grace is in the hot seat and is in. Idol we know that if you show lots of highlights and personal stuff about the person before they go in, that they are usually going on.
Scott Macintyre is in. He’s the blind, I man visually impaired dude. Like the judges were going to whack a blind guy. They will let America do that.
Lil Rounds, the mother of 3 is up next. I’m digging her. Big voice. First we get the ‘dramatic’ pause and then she’s in the top 36 (that’s no reference to the bra she needs to go buy)
Felecia Barton is given the axe.
Ashley “I’m all Legs” Hollister is also axed.
Devon Baldwin is axed.
Frankie “Goes to Hollywood” Jordon the stay at home mom is up. She’s going upstairs with Jessie Langston. Sing-off? Frankie is very nervous and singing softly. Not great. But not awful. Jessie brings it a lot stronger, more confident. Simon calls it a horrible song. They drag them both back on the carpet. Paula gives the good news to……..Jessie. Simon tells both of them they couldn’t win. Paula and Kara give out hugs.
A few more get canned while I was watching Rambo 2 on another channel.
Big Voiced 16 year-old Allison with the red hair that matches the judge’s chairs is a Final 36.
BFF's Jamar “My Face is Pin Cushion” Rogers and Danny "#1 Sob Story of the Week" Gokey, The Donk and Rob wannabes. Are promised us after the break. We get a long segment of these to best buds. Kinda like Andy and Barney or Starskey and Hutch. I’d like them to both go home cause I’m sick of FOX’s shameless playing up the dead wife angle and the BFF garabage. Even better would be a sing-off between the two. But alas its not to happen. Danny is through. Now Jamar walks the green mile to get to the judges room…..but first another commercial. Time to go watch Rambo snuff out some more commies. Ok I made it back for the verdict. Jamar is gone. The Dynamic Duo is broken up. Jamar is shocked, Ryan is shocked, Danny is shocked, the rest of the contestants are shocked, Obama is shocked and calls for a stimulus package to give Jamar his own show. Got help a brother out.
Ricky, Matt, Jorge, Brent and Ju’not THE BOWIE GUY are all through in about 13 seconds of footage.
Stephen, the dude with the cool hair who forgot the words last time is top 36.
Now we get a tour of the mansion. And a glimpse of Nick/Norman doing is stuff. Please let this guy through. I love him. He’s great material. Of course so are the 2 drama queens but they need to go home. And Norman/Nick is staying around…YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
We have a half-hour left and Tatiana The Terrible and Nathaniel The Drama Queen are still to go.
Jackie Tohn with the smoke-whiskey cured voice is on the chair. She’s in and is very very excited.
Tatiana the Terrible montage. She sings well but is possibly the most annoying person ever. Seriously. Paula gives a ring. Simon calls it a shameless promotion of her jewelry line. Randy gives her the ‘good’ news. Good for who?
Jackie “Guy not a Gal” Midkiff is singing off against Nathaniel our favorite drama queen. But first we here about his horrible childhood. Ok it was rough, but he still needs to leave. Jackie sings first and does well. Nathaniel sings ok too. If I close my eyes I can listen to Nathaniel. I don’t know who to pick talent-wise. Jackie is obviously non-offensive. The judges decide……on Nathaniel. So both of our DQ’s are still in.
Next up after a break. The Welder and the Oil Rigger square-off. Instead of singing maybe they will have them fight in a cage match. One can hope.
This show is long. I want to go to bed. Rambo just blew-up a village.
Kai Kalama is in. He’s got great hair too. It's all about the hair. Anne Marie and some other people get in too.
And then there were two. Welder and Oil Rigger dudes. We get a look back at how they got here. Both of them are likable and seem like family guys. Hopefully the judges will pull a ‘surprise’ and let both in. Matt does just ok. Next Michael sings. I think he did better. Time to see what the judges think and wrap this puppy up. And duh…….I was right. Yeah me.
That’s all folks.
Here are our illustrious judges; Simon “The only Judge that Matters” Cowell, Paula “I Drink too Much Cough Syrup and that’s why I Love Everyone” Abdul, Randy “I can’t even spell Dawg” Jackson and Kara “I can Display Cleavage Like Paula Too“ DioGuardi
We have many questions to answer tonight:
Will BFF's Jamar Rogers and Danny "#1 Sob Story of the Week" Gokey continue to be co-joined at the hip or will daring surgery be performed live on TV to separate them?
Will Tatiana the Terrible and Nathaniel “Drama Queen and all-around Queen” Marshall finally be given the boot, proving that God actually does watch American Idol and cares about it?
With the show being set in what looks like a Victorian Goth-like Mansion, will Paula dress like a vampire from Twilight?
Will we actually see singing tonight on a show that is supposed to be about singing?
Oh and who will be the final 36 contestants?
So on with the show…all 2 hours of it! Two hours of watching idolettes sit in front of the judges and be told yes or no. Why do we put ourselves through this?
The judges are in large velvety blood red chairs…looks like something my Italian grandmother had back in the old country. Paul’s hair looks great but not sure about the dress. Looks like a blue crepe paper bag. Randy is sporting some paisley from the 80’s but I like.
First up is Anoop Dawg. My man! And he’s in the final 36, duh!
Von “Cool First Name Boring Second Name” Smith. He bores me in general. I’d say he’s borderline. Borderline enough to get through.
Cody “I’d like to remake all 12 of the Friday the 13th movies” is forced to do a sing off. Alex Wamner…… is the second half of the sing off. Alex has the better voice but Cody has the ‘cooler’ look. Alex looks like a homeshool nerd – I should know. And Alex is through and Cody is going home.
Adam “Max Factor” Lambert is up next. He’s getting lots of airtime so he’s got to be going through. He looks real good in that Victorian room. Simon tries the old fake out acting like its bad news. But obviously he’s going through. He looks like a top 10 possibility.
Taylor Vaifuna is with us next. I like her and think she’s in. Randy does the hesitating thing (poorly) and gives her the good news
6 girls in 60 seconds. Jasmine Murray and Arianna and Casey Carson and Stevie Wright and Mishavonna and Megan Corkery are all in.
Joanna “The Ringer” Pacitti. I like her. Nice last name. Pretty girl. Not annoying. Even though she’s not na amateur I’d put her in. They drag it out and then let her in.
T’K Hash, Reggie and Chris somebody are all axed.
Kendall Beard is in and very emotional.
Jen Korbee is forced to sing…which means Kristen McNamara will be singing against her. I vote Jen. Let’s see…the judges babble/fight. Simon seems to want Jen The Very Attractive Blonde Girl. The judges keep dissing Kristen’s clothing choice. Kristen is in. Simon and I both disagree with the choice
Alexis “Two-Tone Hair” Grace is in the hot seat and is in. Idol we know that if you show lots of highlights and personal stuff about the person before they go in, that they are usually going on.
Scott Macintyre is in. He’s the blind, I man visually impaired dude. Like the judges were going to whack a blind guy. They will let America do that.
Lil Rounds, the mother of 3 is up next. I’m digging her. Big voice. First we get the ‘dramatic’ pause and then she’s in the top 36 (that’s no reference to the bra she needs to go buy)
Felecia Barton is given the axe.
Ashley “I’m all Legs” Hollister is also axed.
Devon Baldwin is axed.
Frankie “Goes to Hollywood” Jordon the stay at home mom is up. She’s going upstairs with Jessie Langston. Sing-off? Frankie is very nervous and singing softly. Not great. But not awful. Jessie brings it a lot stronger, more confident. Simon calls it a horrible song. They drag them both back on the carpet. Paula gives the good news to……..Jessie. Simon tells both of them they couldn’t win. Paula and Kara give out hugs.
A few more get canned while I was watching Rambo 2 on another channel.
Big Voiced 16 year-old Allison with the red hair that matches the judge’s chairs is a Final 36.
BFF's Jamar “My Face is Pin Cushion” Rogers and Danny "#1 Sob Story of the Week" Gokey, The Donk and Rob wannabes. Are promised us after the break. We get a long segment of these to best buds. Kinda like Andy and Barney or Starskey and Hutch. I’d like them to both go home cause I’m sick of FOX’s shameless playing up the dead wife angle and the BFF garabage. Even better would be a sing-off between the two. But alas its not to happen. Danny is through. Now Jamar walks the green mile to get to the judges room…..but first another commercial. Time to go watch Rambo snuff out some more commies. Ok I made it back for the verdict. Jamar is gone. The Dynamic Duo is broken up. Jamar is shocked, Ryan is shocked, Danny is shocked, the rest of the contestants are shocked, Obama is shocked and calls for a stimulus package to give Jamar his own show. Got help a brother out.
Ricky, Matt, Jorge, Brent and Ju’not THE BOWIE GUY are all through in about 13 seconds of footage.
Stephen, the dude with the cool hair who forgot the words last time is top 36.
Now we get a tour of the mansion. And a glimpse of Nick/Norman doing is stuff. Please let this guy through. I love him. He’s great material. Of course so are the 2 drama queens but they need to go home. And Norman/Nick is staying around…YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
We have a half-hour left and Tatiana The Terrible and Nathaniel The Drama Queen are still to go.
Jackie Tohn with the smoke-whiskey cured voice is on the chair. She’s in and is very very excited.
Tatiana the Terrible montage. She sings well but is possibly the most annoying person ever. Seriously. Paula gives a ring. Simon calls it a shameless promotion of her jewelry line. Randy gives her the ‘good’ news. Good for who?
Jackie “Guy not a Gal” Midkiff is singing off against Nathaniel our favorite drama queen. But first we here about his horrible childhood. Ok it was rough, but he still needs to leave. Jackie sings first and does well. Nathaniel sings ok too. If I close my eyes I can listen to Nathaniel. I don’t know who to pick talent-wise. Jackie is obviously non-offensive. The judges decide……on Nathaniel. So both of our DQ’s are still in.
Next up after a break. The Welder and the Oil Rigger square-off. Instead of singing maybe they will have them fight in a cage match. One can hope.
This show is long. I want to go to bed. Rambo just blew-up a village.
Kai Kalama is in. He’s got great hair too. It's all about the hair. Anne Marie and some other people get in too.
And then there were two. Welder and Oil Rigger dudes. We get a look back at how they got here. Both of them are likable and seem like family guys. Hopefully the judges will pull a ‘surprise’ and let both in. Matt does just ok. Next Michael sings. I think he did better. Time to see what the judges think and wrap this puppy up. And duh…….I was right. Yeah me.
That’s all folks.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
American Idol Night - '09
Still in Hollywood and 72 left. Tonight they get to perform with a band, backup singers or their own instrument. We are at the ‘historic’ Kodak Theater
The judges are agonizing over the contestants with the singers are in the holding tank.
But first we get a recap of how they spend their days….boringly it looks like.
First up is Adam ‘I get my eyeliner by the case’ Lambert. Doing Cher’s Believe. While I don’t like this guy’s styles, he seems like the type who could go far.
T-shirt and Vest guy is playing an electronic piano. He’s bluesy and soulful.
We get a glimpse with BFF’s Jamar and Danny “I Recently Lost My Wife’ Gokey…..Jamar is dressed like Kermit the Frog in a very bright green sweater singing Hey There Delia…..i loath that whiny crybaby song. Jamar needs to leave just for choosing it. Danny’s ok but the whole BFF thing is tiresome. I mean it’s worse than Rob and The Donk’s BFF man-crush thing….ewwwww
Time for commercials. What is Kara wearing? Anyone? She looks like a brown ostrich. And Paula is dancing and bouncing all over the place. Time for the FOX breathalyzer. Randy is wearing some mardi gras beads. Please don’t pull-up your shirt Randy.
Annop Dawg Desai and Jorge Nunuez get some brief screen time. I like the Annop dude.
Scott ‘the blind piano man’ Macintyre is back in front of some keyboards and looks a lot more comfortable. But not a great voice. Is he being kept around cause he’s blind? For the story? FOX wouldn’t do something cheap like that, would they? Nah
Kendall “I’ll Get Thru on My Cleavage if not Singing’ Beard is bubbly but so-so but should get by on her looks for now
Stevie ‘Girl not a Boy’ Wright is up. 16 year-old who I really like.
Kristen McNamara is up and interviewed. She was part of some drama that I must have missed last week when I was on my death-bed.
The incredibly annoying Tatiana Del Toro (is she named after a lawnmower?) sings next and is so fullof herself. She can’t go soon enough.
Alexis Grace, Kenny Hao and jasmine Murray get 5 seconds each but they are a good 5 seconds
Nathaniel ‘Drama-Queen and Tinkerbelle wannabe’ Marshall is featured next. Somebody shoot me now or him or both of us. This ‘dude’ more effeminate than Richard Simmons
Joanna ‘The Ringer’ Paciti and cool haired black dude Stephen Fowler butcher the lyrics to their songs……never a good idea……
“Confessions of a Shopaholic” this looks like it could be one of the worst movies ever made. Ok I take that back. There was just a preview for ‘Fired Up’. So it’s a tie for the worst movie ever. I’d rather watch Teen Wolf and Teen Wolf Too.
Nick/Norman/Sybil is up next and trying to figure out who to sing as. Ok he’s doing the 80’s Flash Dance Queen thing again. I’d keep him around just for the craziness. The show needs his personality. Heck maybe he could co-host with Seacrest
Anne Marie Bosovich does a nice but not spectacular performance. I liked her from the earlier rounds…hope she gets through.
Ju’not (did I spell that right?) is up next. It appears he’s from my hometown. Guess I got to root for him now. Rats I was just getting ready to make fun of his ghetto look. Which I now know is fake since there is no real ghetto around here…other than my house.
Kaylan Loyd who is upset about her audition is shown but doesn’t talk. Lenshe Young, one of our sob stories is up next. She’s the poor girl. She’s got a real nice voice.
Kai Kalma is losing is voice. Bad timing.
Michael ‘Exxon-Mobil’ Sarver our friendly neighborhood oil field roughneck is up. He’s good.
Ok this weird. Simon leaves to catch a flight to London. His he being knighted, sacrificing a goat at Stonehenge.
So the minor three get to deliver the news. First they do the ‘we are sorry, oh psyche’ you are really through to one of the rooms. Man it’s the one with Tinkerbelle in it. Well at least he’s blogging material.
The second room is giving the boot. Little Castro is in that room so he’s home. Bummer. He had some character.
It’s near impossible to keep up with who is in what room. Check online tomorrow for the complete list.
Two more rooms to give news to and then we will be down to the final 36. Can’t come soon enough. Hearing a few seconds of people singing makes for lousy TV. This show does not flow at all in this format.
The 3rd room to get the news is giving a speech. Randy tries the fake-out thing again….as I roll my eyes. This room had too many good people in it, it was getting through.
Here we are at the 4th and final room. So they are going home right? Unless there is some craziness. And there is. This room gets through too. Color me confused. I guess the 3 rooms that got through add up to 36?! New math?
Ok here’s a preview for tomorrow night. They have to meet the judges in their mansion and sit down in front of them, like something out of the Godfather. Ok I get it, kind of
The judges are agonizing over the contestants with the singers are in the holding tank.
But first we get a recap of how they spend their days….boringly it looks like.
First up is Adam ‘I get my eyeliner by the case’ Lambert. Doing Cher’s Believe. While I don’t like this guy’s styles, he seems like the type who could go far.
T-shirt and Vest guy is playing an electronic piano. He’s bluesy and soulful.
We get a glimpse with BFF’s Jamar and Danny “I Recently Lost My Wife’ Gokey…..Jamar is dressed like Kermit the Frog in a very bright green sweater singing Hey There Delia…..i loath that whiny crybaby song. Jamar needs to leave just for choosing it. Danny’s ok but the whole BFF thing is tiresome. I mean it’s worse than Rob and The Donk’s BFF man-crush thing….ewwwww
Time for commercials. What is Kara wearing? Anyone? She looks like a brown ostrich. And Paula is dancing and bouncing all over the place. Time for the FOX breathalyzer. Randy is wearing some mardi gras beads. Please don’t pull-up your shirt Randy.
Annop Dawg Desai and Jorge Nunuez get some brief screen time. I like the Annop dude.
Scott ‘the blind piano man’ Macintyre is back in front of some keyboards and looks a lot more comfortable. But not a great voice. Is he being kept around cause he’s blind? For the story? FOX wouldn’t do something cheap like that, would they? Nah
Kendall “I’ll Get Thru on My Cleavage if not Singing’ Beard is bubbly but so-so but should get by on her looks for now
Stevie ‘Girl not a Boy’ Wright is up. 16 year-old who I really like.
Kristen McNamara is up and interviewed. She was part of some drama that I must have missed last week when I was on my death-bed.
The incredibly annoying Tatiana Del Toro (is she named after a lawnmower?) sings next and is so fullof herself. She can’t go soon enough.
Alexis Grace, Kenny Hao and jasmine Murray get 5 seconds each but they are a good 5 seconds
Nathaniel ‘Drama-Queen and Tinkerbelle wannabe’ Marshall is featured next. Somebody shoot me now or him or both of us. This ‘dude’ more effeminate than Richard Simmons
Joanna ‘The Ringer’ Paciti and cool haired black dude Stephen Fowler butcher the lyrics to their songs……never a good idea……
“Confessions of a Shopaholic” this looks like it could be one of the worst movies ever made. Ok I take that back. There was just a preview for ‘Fired Up’. So it’s a tie for the worst movie ever. I’d rather watch Teen Wolf and Teen Wolf Too.
Nick/Norman/Sybil is up next and trying to figure out who to sing as. Ok he’s doing the 80’s Flash Dance Queen thing again. I’d keep him around just for the craziness. The show needs his personality. Heck maybe he could co-host with Seacrest
Anne Marie Bosovich does a nice but not spectacular performance. I liked her from the earlier rounds…hope she gets through.
Ju’not (did I spell that right?) is up next. It appears he’s from my hometown. Guess I got to root for him now. Rats I was just getting ready to make fun of his ghetto look. Which I now know is fake since there is no real ghetto around here…other than my house.
Kaylan Loyd who is upset about her audition is shown but doesn’t talk. Lenshe Young, one of our sob stories is up next. She’s the poor girl. She’s got a real nice voice.
Kai Kalma is losing is voice. Bad timing.
Michael ‘Exxon-Mobil’ Sarver our friendly neighborhood oil field roughneck is up. He’s good.
Ok this weird. Simon leaves to catch a flight to London. His he being knighted, sacrificing a goat at Stonehenge.
So the minor three get to deliver the news. First they do the ‘we are sorry, oh psyche’ you are really through to one of the rooms. Man it’s the one with Tinkerbelle in it. Well at least he’s blogging material.
The second room is giving the boot. Little Castro is in that room so he’s home. Bummer. He had some character.
It’s near impossible to keep up with who is in what room. Check online tomorrow for the complete list.
Two more rooms to give news to and then we will be down to the final 36. Can’t come soon enough. Hearing a few seconds of people singing makes for lousy TV. This show does not flow at all in this format.
The 3rd room to get the news is giving a speech. Randy tries the fake-out thing again….as I roll my eyes. This room had too many good people in it, it was getting through.
Here we are at the 4th and final room. So they are going home right? Unless there is some craziness. And there is. This room gets through too. Color me confused. I guess the 3 rooms that got through add up to 36?! New math?
Ok here’s a preview for tomorrow night. They have to meet the judges in their mansion and sit down in front of them, like something out of the Godfather. Ok I get it, kind of
Friday, February 6, 2009
EOTWAWKI
Yes it's back. Time for another installment of EOTWAWKI (end of the world as we know it).
I guess we should wait a bit longer to use the 'D' word. But if Obama the Wise...Obama the Merciful...Obama the All-Knowing, doesn't have it fixed by year-end then the kid gloves come off. Obviously I'm joking since I don't think any politician or government official can do anything but make it worse.
Stay tuned.
- Panasonic reported a loss of $4.2 billion; it said it was cutting 15,000 jobs.
- The Chinese are now buying more automobiles than Americans
- Disney profits fell 32% in the first quarter
- Credit card delinquencies are at a record high
- Disney profits fell 32% in the first quarter
- India, which is now producing $2,000 cars, announced a project to build laptop computers that will sell for 20 bucks
- U.S. property owners lost $3.3 trillion last year, says Bloomberg. Houses in Las Vegas fell 41%. In Phoenix, they went down 43%. Miami homeowners saw a 40% decline.
- In Spain, unemployment grew 47 % in the last 12 months. 14% of the workforce is out of a job.
- IBM says it cut salaries by 15%. UPS said it froze its payroll.
I guess we should wait a bit longer to use the 'D' word. But if Obama the Wise...Obama the Merciful...Obama the All-Knowing, doesn't have it fixed by year-end then the kid gloves come off. Obviously I'm joking since I don't think any politician or government official can do anything but make it worse.
Stay tuned.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
American Idol Night - '09
Went to bed yesterday afternoon at 5....just got up at 8 this morning. Flu. Did not get to watch idol. My bride did.
I leave you with this:
I leave you with this:
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
American Idol Night - '09
The obnoxious auditions are over and we are in Hollywood for hopefully some decent performances. There 147 left….some have to be good, don’t they?
A preview of very emotional people. Don’t these people have anything else in their lives? They really need to chill.
They all went through idol boot camp and got tarted-up and pimp-out…plus they had vocal coaching. And extra help from a plastic faced Barry Manilow. He’s had more work than Randy
Here’s the deal, they are singing a capella and they get a yes or no. Then we do the ‘half of you take a step forward’ thing.
This is too random and fast to name each singer. We are going through half people tonight. Let’s just mention any standouts or train wrecks
1. Daniel or Daniel – train wreck and potty mouth
2. Pierced face and ear dude with a headband and who cries like a little girl….and somehow gets through
3. Jasmine Murray – 16yo pretty girl with a big voice
4. Rose aka hippy chick with questionable hygiene habits and who doesn’t own shoes or a bra and who bawls too. But she will live to fight another day. Since she’s gonna be in Hollywood for awhile longer maybe she can hit a Prada shoe store and Fredericks of Hollywood for some shopping.
5. Jorge our Latin Bo-Hunk lets it fly good
6. Anoop Desai aka Noop Dog does a fine job
7. Norman aka Nick aka Norman. Mr. split-personality is back with his craziness and shimmery shirt and headband. Reminds me of The Donk when he went through his Flash Dance period. Well scratch me behind the ears and call me Sparky, he gets through. At least he livens up the place
Day 2 – the other half
1. Jackie Tone aka muffin-top girl from the auditions is dressed like a hooker tonight in leather mini-skirt and black go-go boots. She sounds a bit like Janis Joplin and gets to Die Another Day
2. Danny Gokey, the dude whose wife recently died, does a Seal song and sounds lame to me…but the judges…love him…go figure. Guess that’s why I’m not in the music business
3. Here is BG (bikini girl). She’s still a tart and still kissing on Seacrest. She does Breathe by Faith Hill. She’s actually a decent singer. Kara gets all ‘cat-fighting’ again. Paula joins in. Simon sticks up for her…again and of course Randy joins with Simon. Kara takes a few parting cheap-shots.
4. Jesus gets the axe….not a smart move judges. Jesus is not happy. You don’t want to tick off the Almighty. You aren’t going to like a plague of frogs or locusts descending on Hollywood. The rest of us won’t mind though
5. Oil –rigger dude Jeremy does well….too bad we need people pumping out more oil, gas prices are going back up lately
6. Tatted-up pink haired chick. Emily, sings a different song at the last moment…never a good idea. The judges are disappointed in her…but how much? Not enough to send her home
7. David Osmond gets through too. Did y’all know he’s from Salt Lake City?
8. Simon and Paula fight over…um I have actually I have no idea what they are fighting about
147 singers in an hour show and we only saw a few…lots of filler tonight?!
Tomorrow night is the ‘Group’ round. Hasta La Vista
A preview of very emotional people. Don’t these people have anything else in their lives? They really need to chill.
They all went through idol boot camp and got tarted-up and pimp-out…plus they had vocal coaching. And extra help from a plastic faced Barry Manilow. He’s had more work than Randy
Here’s the deal, they are singing a capella and they get a yes or no. Then we do the ‘half of you take a step forward’ thing.
This is too random and fast to name each singer. We are going through half people tonight. Let’s just mention any standouts or train wrecks
1. Daniel or Daniel – train wreck and potty mouth
2. Pierced face and ear dude with a headband and who cries like a little girl….and somehow gets through
3. Jasmine Murray – 16yo pretty girl with a big voice
4. Rose aka hippy chick with questionable hygiene habits and who doesn’t own shoes or a bra and who bawls too. But she will live to fight another day. Since she’s gonna be in Hollywood for awhile longer maybe she can hit a Prada shoe store and Fredericks of Hollywood for some shopping.
5. Jorge our Latin Bo-Hunk lets it fly good
6. Anoop Desai aka Noop Dog does a fine job
7. Norman aka Nick aka Norman. Mr. split-personality is back with his craziness and shimmery shirt and headband. Reminds me of The Donk when he went through his Flash Dance period. Well scratch me behind the ears and call me Sparky, he gets through. At least he livens up the place
Day 2 – the other half
1. Jackie Tone aka muffin-top girl from the auditions is dressed like a hooker tonight in leather mini-skirt and black go-go boots. She sounds a bit like Janis Joplin and gets to Die Another Day
2. Danny Gokey, the dude whose wife recently died, does a Seal song and sounds lame to me…but the judges…love him…go figure. Guess that’s why I’m not in the music business
3. Here is BG (bikini girl). She’s still a tart and still kissing on Seacrest. She does Breathe by Faith Hill. She’s actually a decent singer. Kara gets all ‘cat-fighting’ again. Paula joins in. Simon sticks up for her…again and of course Randy joins with Simon. Kara takes a few parting cheap-shots.
4. Jesus gets the axe….not a smart move judges. Jesus is not happy. You don’t want to tick off the Almighty. You aren’t going to like a plague of frogs or locusts descending on Hollywood. The rest of us won’t mind though
5. Oil –rigger dude Jeremy does well….too bad we need people pumping out more oil, gas prices are going back up lately
6. Tatted-up pink haired chick. Emily, sings a different song at the last moment…never a good idea. The judges are disappointed in her…but how much? Not enough to send her home
7. David Osmond gets through too. Did y’all know he’s from Salt Lake City?
8. Simon and Paula fight over…um I have actually I have no idea what they are fighting about
147 singers in an hour show and we only saw a few…lots of filler tonight?!
Tomorrow night is the ‘Group’ round. Hasta La Vista
Friday, January 30, 2009
Snow Day Humor
Just a reminder that you should check you kids homework before they turn it in.
Look at the picture and then read the mother's explanation to her daughter's teacher. (names left out for privacy)
Dear (Teacher),
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely, Mrs. ...(Mother)
From the Baltimore Examiner.
Look at the picture and then read the mother's explanation to her daughter's teacher. (names left out for privacy)
Dear (Teacher),
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely, Mrs. ...(Mother)
From the Baltimore Examiner.
American Idol Night - '09
Finally! The last of the auditions! NYC and PR tonight and then we are off to Hollywood next week. These have been some rough audition shows. At least when we get to Hollywood it will be the better singers and they will have bands backing them up. We are told NYC and PR are the best yet. So why are we cramming 2 cities into 1 hour when Phoenix got 2 hours? Inquiring minds want to know.
First up is NYC. The gang of four arrive via helicopter, not sure how that fits into the whole going green thing that FOX and Idol have been promoting.
First up is Adeola, it appears she has quit her job the day before and wants to be the next AI. Simon suggests she get her job back, Simon the humanitarian offers to call the boss and help her get it back. And they get her boss on the phone and Simon gets her job back……..and I roll my eyes.
Jorge Nunez is up next. I guess we switched to PR. I need to keep up. Jorge sings in Spanish and is pretty good, and then he goes with an English tune. Randy gives him a ‘Dude’ and ‘Dawg’. High praise indeed. And they let him through.
Commercial time, I’m off to channel surf.
We come back from break and we are in NYC…um no we are in PR.
Here is Jessika a ‘professional’ singing contest enterer. She says she has entered over 700 contests and won some. She’s terrible, really. Jessika pleads and whines. She’s getting really annoying. Finally they boot her. And she leads into a montage of other whiners who stink.
Now we hope back up to NYC. We got some bald ‘free to be me’ chick. She hasn’t started singing and I already hate her. I hope she’s bad (does that make me a bad person? I don’t care). Melinda likes to dance naked and wants to bring peace to the world. She says “I want to uplift humanity to a place of love and humanity.” I have absolutely no idea what that means. Simon tells her to imagine Randy naked….a visual I will always hate Simon for giving me. Sad to say the judges like her and she’s going to Hollywood, maybe her flight will be delayed with a long stopover in the Hudson River….one can hope.
After our break we start up back in NYC.
Rocker, guitarist, sporter of a muffin-top…Jackie Thong (excuse me Rob? It’s Tong not Thong, carry on) is singing Jason Marz’s ‘I’m Yours’. Which is a real hard song to sing (I should know, I sing it to the Donk in the gym shower). She’s trying to sing it like Jason does. It’s awful. Simon gets her to sing something else. It’s way better. Nice raspy vocals.
Ok back to PR with a bunch of annoying pleaders. None of which we see much of cause it’s commercial time.
Crazy, weird and gimmicky people time. Joel the human ipod comes out with a huge cardboard cutout of an ipod. He’s a whack job. Now he’s pulled out a Lion King sock puppet and is singing Circle of Life. Ok that was our psycho Puerto Rican……..
………Now it’s time for our screwed up New Yorker, Nick Mitchell. He’s screwed up but kinda funny. He and Simon trade barbs. Crazy Norman (or is it Nick) is now singing Amazing Grace. He needs to be locked up. Paula and Kara say yes and beg Randy to say yes. Randy plays along and lets weirdo-rama through. Now if he can only get through airport security and actually get to Hollywood.
Hmmm so far we’ve had no promos for a SSN. Are we really going to be spared someone with a tragic story? Someone who’s hamster died in a freak vacuum cleaner accident maybe.
And yes of course we are back with more awful people.
We got some girl who brought her little brother with her for luck and to up the cute quotient. Little Christopher gives the judges a seashell. Monique (16) is going to sing You Can’t Hurry Love by The Supremes. I like Monique. She’s sweet and sings halfway decently. Simon and Christopher have her sing another song. Kara and Randy nix her. Paula of course loves everyone and says yes. Simon takes a chance on her and says yes.
One more break and then our final audition segment of this season. Halleluiah!
Ah it’s potty-mouth girl, Alexis Cohen, from Season 7 back for more. This time she’s acting polite and cleaned herself up some. She still stinks. Simon says so and she resorts back to cursing like a Donk listening to Queen. Or is that Donk is a Queen?
Last up is Patrica Lewis Homan. A very soulful pretty young lady. She’s tolerable. Now she’s singing in Espanol. Mucho better. Randy yes, Paula no?!, oh come on people let her go to HW…..and they do.
See ya next week in Hollywood. I’ll be the one wearing the shades
First up is NYC. The gang of four arrive via helicopter, not sure how that fits into the whole going green thing that FOX and Idol have been promoting.
First up is Adeola, it appears she has quit her job the day before and wants to be the next AI. Simon suggests she get her job back, Simon the humanitarian offers to call the boss and help her get it back. And they get her boss on the phone and Simon gets her job back……..and I roll my eyes.
Jorge Nunez is up next. I guess we switched to PR. I need to keep up. Jorge sings in Spanish and is pretty good, and then he goes with an English tune. Randy gives him a ‘Dude’ and ‘Dawg’. High praise indeed. And they let him through.
Commercial time, I’m off to channel surf.
We come back from break and we are in NYC…um no we are in PR.
Here is Jessika a ‘professional’ singing contest enterer. She says she has entered over 700 contests and won some. She’s terrible, really. Jessika pleads and whines. She’s getting really annoying. Finally they boot her. And she leads into a montage of other whiners who stink.
Now we hope back up to NYC. We got some bald ‘free to be me’ chick. She hasn’t started singing and I already hate her. I hope she’s bad (does that make me a bad person? I don’t care). Melinda likes to dance naked and wants to bring peace to the world. She says “I want to uplift humanity to a place of love and humanity.” I have absolutely no idea what that means. Simon tells her to imagine Randy naked….a visual I will always hate Simon for giving me. Sad to say the judges like her and she’s going to Hollywood, maybe her flight will be delayed with a long stopover in the Hudson River….one can hope.
After our break we start up back in NYC.
Rocker, guitarist, sporter of a muffin-top…Jackie Thong (excuse me Rob? It’s Tong not Thong, carry on) is singing Jason Marz’s ‘I’m Yours’. Which is a real hard song to sing (I should know, I sing it to the Donk in the gym shower). She’s trying to sing it like Jason does. It’s awful. Simon gets her to sing something else. It’s way better. Nice raspy vocals.
Ok back to PR with a bunch of annoying pleaders. None of which we see much of cause it’s commercial time.
Crazy, weird and gimmicky people time. Joel the human ipod comes out with a huge cardboard cutout of an ipod. He’s a whack job. Now he’s pulled out a Lion King sock puppet and is singing Circle of Life. Ok that was our psycho Puerto Rican……..
………Now it’s time for our screwed up New Yorker, Nick Mitchell. He’s screwed up but kinda funny. He and Simon trade barbs. Crazy Norman (or is it Nick) is now singing Amazing Grace. He needs to be locked up. Paula and Kara say yes and beg Randy to say yes. Randy plays along and lets weirdo-rama through. Now if he can only get through airport security and actually get to Hollywood.
Hmmm so far we’ve had no promos for a SSN. Are we really going to be spared someone with a tragic story? Someone who’s hamster died in a freak vacuum cleaner accident maybe.
And yes of course we are back with more awful people.
We got some girl who brought her little brother with her for luck and to up the cute quotient. Little Christopher gives the judges a seashell. Monique (16) is going to sing You Can’t Hurry Love by The Supremes. I like Monique. She’s sweet and sings halfway decently. Simon and Christopher have her sing another song. Kara and Randy nix her. Paula of course loves everyone and says yes. Simon takes a chance on her and says yes.
One more break and then our final audition segment of this season. Halleluiah!
Ah it’s potty-mouth girl, Alexis Cohen, from Season 7 back for more. This time she’s acting polite and cleaned herself up some. She still stinks. Simon says so and she resorts back to cursing like a Donk listening to Queen. Or is that Donk is a Queen?
Last up is Patrica Lewis Homan. A very soulful pretty young lady. She’s tolerable. Now she’s singing in Espanol. Mucho better. Randy yes, Paula no?!, oh come on people let her go to HW…..and they do.
See ya next week in Hollywood. I’ll be the one wearing the shades
Thursday, January 29, 2009
American Idol Night - '09
Tonight we are in lovely SALT LAKE CITY (SLC). Home of last year’s runner-up Baby Elmo, the 2002 Winter Olympics, Robert Redford, Ted Bundy, The Osmonds and Roseanne Barr. It’s also where The Donk has is summer retreat. He likes to go there a few times each year for mediation and contemplation on the meaning of life. Or maybe it’s to watch Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life.
And we are off and running. Here’s Baby E himself, some fat dude pulling up his shirt, The Osmonds and someone in a pink rabbit suit looking like Ralphie from Christmas Story.
We see lots of people lined up all night waiting to get in – probably drinking non-alcoholic beer. Paula and Kara are actually not showing cleavage for a change. All males 14-24 just changed to the channel to Ultimate fighting. Randy is here and probably just doubled the number of black people in SLC. Simon gets fawned over and pawed my various female fans (Brigham Young rolls over in his grave)
First up is a story of Alan Osmond’s son David. We meet his family – there might be more people at his house than mine. Pleasant guy with spiky hair. Both father and son have MS. David is singing a Take 6 song for the judges. He’s got a nice voice. Misses a few notes but overall he’s good. Paula, Randy and Kara all babble. And then surprise surprise he gets the yellow ticket.
Here is our first commercial break. I won’t be listing the commercials tonight. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is on ABC Family so I’ll be switching over during the break. Plus let’s face it who cares about the commercials.
And here is SLC’s only ‘Goth’, Tara Matthews. She gives Goth’s a bad name. And she claims to have ESP. Maybe she should use it to win the lottery and buy some new clothes. And of course she’s predictably bad. Why? Why do we have to have these people? Another foil for the judges to have at. Simon and crew are surprisingly restrained. Goth Girl gives us half a peace sign on her way out.
And here is tonight’s horrid singer montage. Lets hope it’s the only one of the night.
Next up is Chris. Chris with his Simon t-shirt, Simon head on a stick and a large dude in a pink bunny costume. I had day-dreams of scenes like this in college. Randy is digging on the Bunny. But both are sent packing after Bunny hugs and picks up Simon.
Commercial time, we are promised good singers when we return. Let’s hope so. Off to see Wonka.
SLC is a pretty looking city. We get to see lots of people being polite ala Archie. The Seacrest and his flannel wanna be shirt give the contestants some advice.
Next up his Frankie Jordan from Hollywood. She’s an Amy Winehouse wannabe. She’s not bad but something about her bugs me. Maybe it’s that she looks like Amy but in an attractive non-scary way, bit why should that bug me? Simon likes her, Paula does too (of course), Kara and Randy fall in line also and she’s going back home to Hollywood. Seacrest makes the Frankie goes to Hollywood joke, I wanted to do that.
Next up is another mom, Megan Corkery. With a very tattooed arm and a frumpy dress. She could actually be pretty if someone gave her a makeover. Part of her singing is good, part scares the dogs in my neighborhood. If she can get rid of the mad notes she’s got a good jazzy voice. The judges love her. Why? Cause she’s different they say. Well in that case let guy with pink bunny man through.
Break time but first a promo for our SSN (Sob Story of the Night). Some cute ‘free spirit’ with a deceased hippy dad. Apparently ‘free-spirit’ is code for needs to shower.
Back from break with pimply face Andrew. Who does ‘soul’ without soul and is booted.
Here is High School class president, Austin Sisneros. He seems like a nice kid, hope he doesn’t stink and get made fun off. He sounds gospel like. Not the right sound for this show. Ok he’s doing another song….by Raffi….I hate Raffi almost as much as I hate Barney. Randy, Kara and Paula all give him a pass. Simon says he’s likable but needs to act younger. Austin cries and smiles afterwards. A Baby Elmo in training?
Lumberjack in training, Seacrest, tells this is where they made the High School musical movies. And here is collection of people crying. And more bad auditions in high speed fast forward.
16 year old girl with a name I can’t pronounce and recently from and island I didn’t catch the name of is up next. Ok her name is Taylor. She’s very tall and is singing Joyful, Joyful. Good voice. Paula, Randy, and Kara gush over her and more importantly Simon likes her too.
Another promo for SSN and you are treated to more ads and I get to watch Willy Wonka. Good screen work by LOL – Violet is turning into a big fat violet blueberry, love that part. I can’t stand bratty kids.
Here is 17 year old Rose Flack our ‘free-spirit’ and SSN of the night from Idaho. Rose is living with her best friend and her family. Her dad died when she was 13 years old and her mom died when she was 15. Rose apparently doesn’t own shoes – must be rough on the feet during the Idaho winters. She’s got a brother who doesn’t seem to know what a bar of soap and water are either. Yes I’m being mean and yes I know she lost both her parents. I feel bad for her. I’m just sick of FOX and their making money of the sad stories. She has a good personality. She’s singing I Feel the Earth Move. I like her voice, I still think she needs to be cleaned-up, but the girl can sing pretty well. The judges aren’t thrilled with her voice but think she has something special so she’s thru.
And that’s it for tonight. Oh what’s this? AI is on for 2 hours tomorrow night. From NY and Puerto Rico. And then we will be down with the auditions and we go to Hollywood next week.
And we are off and running. Here’s Baby E himself, some fat dude pulling up his shirt, The Osmonds and someone in a pink rabbit suit looking like Ralphie from Christmas Story.
We see lots of people lined up all night waiting to get in – probably drinking non-alcoholic beer. Paula and Kara are actually not showing cleavage for a change. All males 14-24 just changed to the channel to Ultimate fighting. Randy is here and probably just doubled the number of black people in SLC. Simon gets fawned over and pawed my various female fans (Brigham Young rolls over in his grave)
First up is a story of Alan Osmond’s son David. We meet his family – there might be more people at his house than mine. Pleasant guy with spiky hair. Both father and son have MS. David is singing a Take 6 song for the judges. He’s got a nice voice. Misses a few notes but overall he’s good. Paula, Randy and Kara all babble. And then surprise surprise he gets the yellow ticket.
Here is our first commercial break. I won’t be listing the commercials tonight. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is on ABC Family so I’ll be switching over during the break. Plus let’s face it who cares about the commercials.
And here is SLC’s only ‘Goth’, Tara Matthews. She gives Goth’s a bad name. And she claims to have ESP. Maybe she should use it to win the lottery and buy some new clothes. And of course she’s predictably bad. Why? Why do we have to have these people? Another foil for the judges to have at. Simon and crew are surprisingly restrained. Goth Girl gives us half a peace sign on her way out.
And here is tonight’s horrid singer montage. Lets hope it’s the only one of the night.
Next up is Chris. Chris with his Simon t-shirt, Simon head on a stick and a large dude in a pink bunny costume. I had day-dreams of scenes like this in college. Randy is digging on the Bunny. But both are sent packing after Bunny hugs and picks up Simon.
Commercial time, we are promised good singers when we return. Let’s hope so. Off to see Wonka.
SLC is a pretty looking city. We get to see lots of people being polite ala Archie. The Seacrest and his flannel wanna be shirt give the contestants some advice.
Next up his Frankie Jordan from Hollywood. She’s an Amy Winehouse wannabe. She’s not bad but something about her bugs me. Maybe it’s that she looks like Amy but in an attractive non-scary way, bit why should that bug me? Simon likes her, Paula does too (of course), Kara and Randy fall in line also and she’s going back home to Hollywood. Seacrest makes the Frankie goes to Hollywood joke, I wanted to do that.
Next up is another mom, Megan Corkery. With a very tattooed arm and a frumpy dress. She could actually be pretty if someone gave her a makeover. Part of her singing is good, part scares the dogs in my neighborhood. If she can get rid of the mad notes she’s got a good jazzy voice. The judges love her. Why? Cause she’s different they say. Well in that case let guy with pink bunny man through.
Break time but first a promo for our SSN (Sob Story of the Night). Some cute ‘free spirit’ with a deceased hippy dad. Apparently ‘free-spirit’ is code for needs to shower.
Back from break with pimply face Andrew. Who does ‘soul’ without soul and is booted.
Here is High School class president, Austin Sisneros. He seems like a nice kid, hope he doesn’t stink and get made fun off. He sounds gospel like. Not the right sound for this show. Ok he’s doing another song….by Raffi….I hate Raffi almost as much as I hate Barney. Randy, Kara and Paula all give him a pass. Simon says he’s likable but needs to act younger. Austin cries and smiles afterwards. A Baby Elmo in training?
Lumberjack in training, Seacrest, tells this is where they made the High School musical movies. And here is collection of people crying. And more bad auditions in high speed fast forward.
16 year old girl with a name I can’t pronounce and recently from and island I didn’t catch the name of is up next. Ok her name is Taylor. She’s very tall and is singing Joyful, Joyful. Good voice. Paula, Randy, and Kara gush over her and more importantly Simon likes her too.
Another promo for SSN and you are treated to more ads and I get to watch Willy Wonka. Good screen work by LOL – Violet is turning into a big fat violet blueberry, love that part. I can’t stand bratty kids.
Here is 17 year old Rose Flack our ‘free-spirit’ and SSN of the night from Idaho. Rose is living with her best friend and her family. Her dad died when she was 13 years old and her mom died when she was 15. Rose apparently doesn’t own shoes – must be rough on the feet during the Idaho winters. She’s got a brother who doesn’t seem to know what a bar of soap and water are either. Yes I’m being mean and yes I know she lost both her parents. I feel bad for her. I’m just sick of FOX and their making money of the sad stories. She has a good personality. She’s singing I Feel the Earth Move. I like her voice, I still think she needs to be cleaned-up, but the girl can sing pretty well. The judges aren’t thrilled with her voice but think she has something special so she’s thru.
And that’s it for tonight. Oh what’s this? AI is on for 2 hours tomorrow night. From NY and Puerto Rico. And then we will be down with the auditions and we go to Hollywood next week.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
American Idol Night - '09
Today’s auditions come to you from Amelia Island, FL and are brought to you by the letters ‘A’ and ‘L’. As in Awful and Lame.
Simon and his ubiquitous grey t-shirt are rolling in a limo with The Secrest tagging along. Paula and Kara have dueling cleavage going on.
Horrors of horrors a Journey flashback with a young Randy with a Fro.
First up is 22 year-old Josh Ulloa who comes I jumping around like a jack rabbit and proceeds to strike a post and snap his fingers through a Marvin Gaye song. Simon calls it part good, gimmicky and like Inspector Gadget. But Simon lets him through. Is that a sign that the rest of the people aren’t going to be great?
Now we chat with a cute girl, Sharon Wilbur, and here little dog Sasha. Sasha climbs into Simons lap. Sharon sings a Karen Carpenter song. She has a rough and scratchy voice (sounds like she smokes and drinks bourbon straight). I like her voice. Kara and Paula do a pretend make-out session and I take a break to throw-up in my mouth. Yuck.
Well at least we got in two auditions before the AT&T, Coke, movie preview, Pizza Hut, make-up or something like that, H&R Block, TV preview, plus 2 other commercial that I don’t what they were for.
And we are back with RS driving a golf cart and pretending he is lost
And first up is Dana who is sent packing real fast by Simon
Ok and now we have Kawanse (sp?) a very confident 16 yo who can’t really sing but seems sweet.
And now we have some crazy looking chick, Julissa, wearing a beauty crown. Miss Everglades or something like that. She’s doing Whitney; no one ever gets away with singing Whitney. Simon disses here laugh. And for some unknown reason they give her a golden ticket – to Hollywood or the crazy hospital?
Ad time, Electrolux washer and dryer, Olive Garden (gag me with a breadstick), Covergirl, Stride gum, Subway (gag Jerod), Idol promo, Carnival Cruises (there’s a recession dudes – good luck), and something called The Employee Free Choice Act (yeah I have know idea either), Giant grocery store, Chevy, FOX TV promo. I need to time these segments, that was a lot.
First up is a Chatty-Kathy dude named Darin Darnell. Who gets all emotional when his buddy gets cut. He’s doing some Boyz to Men. Or maybe he isn’t, he’s crying again. He finally starts, maybe he’s better when he’s happy, cause he’s not good when sad. Mercifully Simon stops him and lets him done easy, for Simon that is.
Naomi, perky and slightly crazy girl with nice hair (it’s all about the hair) comes in and brings in her friend who loves Randy for some reason. Samantha, whose red hair matches the color of Randy’s shirt, sits on Randy’s lap, Kara is sitting on Simon and Seacrest is sitting on Paula. Finally she starts singing and she’s truly awful.
Quick montage of bad singers and day one is over. Coming up day two – with the ‘good’ talent?
Let’s see what we have for break time; Ford, Movie preview, KFC, Orbit gum (what’s with all the gum commercials), Wal-Mart, Shampoo commercial, Disney DVD movie, Campbell’s soup, AI promo, FOX TV show promo and 5 minutes later we are back.
Cute young girl Jasmine, with her sisters, is up next. She’s 16 and singing Fergie. I hope she’s good cause I like her. And she’s not bad at all. The Gang of Four likes her too.
18 yo Nerdy physics major is up next. He looks like the Una-Bomber. But his name is George. Maybe he should take up bombing cause he just bombed the audition.
Holy Cow it’s commercial time, seriously! This is nuts. First some weird commercial with a dog pushing adult toilet paper wipes – Be Kind to Your Behind. And then another dozen or so commercials.
First up is Anne Marie (and some commie last name). She starts by sucking up to Kara. She’s a pleasant 24 year old. Simon sends her away and tells her to come back as a super star. I guess we will see her later.
Up next is a dude who tried out last year, T’K Hash (pipe). He’s singing Lennon’s Imagine. I hate this song. Sorry Beatles fans. He gives it a soul-vibe spin. I like it better than the original. Simon says no but the other 3 give him the nod.
I guess we will have to wait for Anna Marie’s second coming until after another slew of commercials, her and crying bandana boy (CBB).
I’m a little upset; it appears we will have no SSN (sop story of the night). You would think the AI producers could have found some tragic story to take advantage of. Maybe someone who’s kitten was thrown off that bridge they keep showing.
We are back and start off with CBB (Michael) who is upset that he can’t use his guitar. He’s doing Jumper by Third Eye Blind. He’s actually not too bad. But the judges don’t seem to like him much. His whininess is annoying. He gets sent packing. He whines even more afterwards. If he wasn’t such a baby he might have made it.
Anne Marie is back and looking not too bad. She’s signing Bubbly. And she’s good and she’s in.
16 tickets were given out tonight. Not the worst show they’ve had this year, but not great either.
Next week we are headed to Baby Elmo’s home town of Salt Lake City (behave Donk)
Simon and his ubiquitous grey t-shirt are rolling in a limo with The Secrest tagging along. Paula and Kara have dueling cleavage going on.
Horrors of horrors a Journey flashback with a young Randy with a Fro.
First up is 22 year-old Josh Ulloa who comes I jumping around like a jack rabbit and proceeds to strike a post and snap his fingers through a Marvin Gaye song. Simon calls it part good, gimmicky and like Inspector Gadget. But Simon lets him through. Is that a sign that the rest of the people aren’t going to be great?
Now we chat with a cute girl, Sharon Wilbur, and here little dog Sasha. Sasha climbs into Simons lap. Sharon sings a Karen Carpenter song. She has a rough and scratchy voice (sounds like she smokes and drinks bourbon straight). I like her voice. Kara and Paula do a pretend make-out session and I take a break to throw-up in my mouth. Yuck.
Well at least we got in two auditions before the AT&T, Coke, movie preview, Pizza Hut, make-up or something like that, H&R Block, TV preview, plus 2 other commercial that I don’t what they were for.
And we are back with RS driving a golf cart and pretending he is lost
And first up is Dana who is sent packing real fast by Simon
Ok and now we have Kawanse (sp?) a very confident 16 yo who can’t really sing but seems sweet.
And now we have some crazy looking chick, Julissa, wearing a beauty crown. Miss Everglades or something like that. She’s doing Whitney; no one ever gets away with singing Whitney. Simon disses here laugh. And for some unknown reason they give her a golden ticket – to Hollywood or the crazy hospital?
Ad time, Electrolux washer and dryer, Olive Garden (gag me with a breadstick), Covergirl, Stride gum, Subway (gag Jerod), Idol promo, Carnival Cruises (there’s a recession dudes – good luck), and something called The Employee Free Choice Act (yeah I have know idea either), Giant grocery store, Chevy, FOX TV promo. I need to time these segments, that was a lot.
First up is a Chatty-Kathy dude named Darin Darnell. Who gets all emotional when his buddy gets cut. He’s doing some Boyz to Men. Or maybe he isn’t, he’s crying again. He finally starts, maybe he’s better when he’s happy, cause he’s not good when sad. Mercifully Simon stops him and lets him done easy, for Simon that is.
Naomi, perky and slightly crazy girl with nice hair (it’s all about the hair) comes in and brings in her friend who loves Randy for some reason. Samantha, whose red hair matches the color of Randy’s shirt, sits on Randy’s lap, Kara is sitting on Simon and Seacrest is sitting on Paula. Finally she starts singing and she’s truly awful.
Quick montage of bad singers and day one is over. Coming up day two – with the ‘good’ talent?
Let’s see what we have for break time; Ford, Movie preview, KFC, Orbit gum (what’s with all the gum commercials), Wal-Mart, Shampoo commercial, Disney DVD movie, Campbell’s soup, AI promo, FOX TV show promo and 5 minutes later we are back.
Cute young girl Jasmine, with her sisters, is up next. She’s 16 and singing Fergie. I hope she’s good cause I like her. And she’s not bad at all. The Gang of Four likes her too.
18 yo Nerdy physics major is up next. He looks like the Una-Bomber. But his name is George. Maybe he should take up bombing cause he just bombed the audition.
Holy Cow it’s commercial time, seriously! This is nuts. First some weird commercial with a dog pushing adult toilet paper wipes – Be Kind to Your Behind. And then another dozen or so commercials.
First up is Anne Marie (and some commie last name). She starts by sucking up to Kara. She’s a pleasant 24 year old. Simon sends her away and tells her to come back as a super star. I guess we will see her later.
Up next is a dude who tried out last year, T’K Hash (pipe). He’s singing Lennon’s Imagine. I hate this song. Sorry Beatles fans. He gives it a soul-vibe spin. I like it better than the original. Simon says no but the other 3 give him the nod.
I guess we will have to wait for Anna Marie’s second coming until after another slew of commercials, her and crying bandana boy (CBB).
I’m a little upset; it appears we will have no SSN (sop story of the night). You would think the AI producers could have found some tragic story to take advantage of. Maybe someone who’s kitten was thrown off that bridge they keep showing.
We are back and start off with CBB (Michael) who is upset that he can’t use his guitar. He’s doing Jumper by Third Eye Blind. He’s actually not too bad. But the judges don’t seem to like him much. His whininess is annoying. He gets sent packing. He whines even more afterwards. If he wasn’t such a baby he might have made it.
Anne Marie is back and looking not too bad. She’s signing Bubbly. And she’s good and she’s in.
16 tickets were given out tonight. Not the worst show they’ve had this year, but not great either.
Next week we are headed to Baby Elmo’s home town of Salt Lake City (behave Donk)
Monday, January 26, 2009
Happy Birthday Caleb
16 years old today! But alas no drivers license, yet. (the peoples republic of maryland - who obviuosly knows better than parents what their kids are capable of - doesn't allow you to get a license until you are 16 and 3 months)
Sam has a nice post and pictures here
Sam has a nice post and pictures here
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
American Idol Night - '09
Here is where I insert my regular disclaimer about this post not being edited and I’m not responsible for any loss of life or limb or maiming of small animals.
Tonight we are at Churchill Downs KY home of the Kentucky Derby, I guess first up will be Seattle Slew or Sea Biscuit.
And we are off and running – please, please be better than the awful tripe from last night
Simon is wearing a black t-shirt today instead of his gray-white one (the rebel), Paula is sporting a school-marm hairdo and glasses. Randy is wearing, ah who cares what Randy is wearing? New Girl is looking pretty good in a black dress.
Random people are lining up to try out. Guy in a porta-potty, girl with blue-hair – it is the blue grass state.
First up is some tall leggy pale blonde with scary eyes and fake eyelashes named Tiffany (of course). Who is going to college if she doesn’t make it. She’s rough; she’s going to college or beauty school. Simon compares her to a donkey. I don’t think she sings as bad as The Donk – I’ve heard him in the shower, ewwww
Next up is Joanna. A pretty dark haired lass. She seems like a normal person compared to the first one. Hmmm she used to have a record deal, Kara knows of her. She’s got a strong voice. Simon actually smiles. Randy tries to smile but the Botox prevents it. She gets four yeses.
And at the 9 minute mark we have our first commercial break. More car, food and weed commercials…the American dream
And here is Mark Mudd, doing a WV bluegrass sounding tune. And looking like a shaved-head psycho who might snap. He’s not getting the golden ticket, restraining order maybe.
Brent Keith does a bluesy rocking version of Can’t Get Enough of Your Love. Simon tries to give him some advice and the chicks freak out. Kara threatens to not talk anymore! (Yes! Finally!) Brent gets the tic
Well we’ve had 2 auditions so it must be time for a commercial.
Now time for the prerequisite truly awful and weird. Including some guy with a mask that looks like a Zebra Super Hero
Matt Giurad is a ‘Dueling Piano Player’. He fights duels with pianos? Guns or Knives? I like him. Let’s see what the judges have to say. They dig him to and send him on.
Ross the Nerd is up next. He does something with Chinese characters, rearranges them or something. Probably has Chinese characters on his footsie PJ’s. He’s not good. He drinks some water and tries again with Love Me Tender. He’s sent packing. Back to play Dungeons and Dragons I guess.
A quick montage of hopefuls jumping around with their golden paper to the tune of Shout and then on to some commercials…whoa lots of commercials
Day 2 and a new outfit for Paula. She’s gone from looking like a spinster-librarian to a hooker. Simon is still in a black shirt and Randy is in white shirt. They should be singing Ebony and Ivory
First up is Alexis Grace a stay at home mom whose hubby is away at military school. She is bringing the soul out of a little white girl body and all but Kara like her. I thought she was good. What’s Kara’s problem? She seems to like to be argumentative just for the heck of it – Simon wannabe without the gift of sarcasm Simon has
Well that was one audition this segment, which is a lot of work, so we better take a commercial break. But first a preview look at our Sob Story of the Night (SSN). Looks like it’s a former homeless person or something
After the break a quick look at bunch of awful people.
And here is Aaron Williamson. A very, very hyper black dude. Break out the Ritalin. He starts of with a loud shout that almost knocks Paula ‘Working Girl’ Abdul’s boobs right out of her dress. The Seacrest comes in to see what the racket was all about. Aaron is sent to the showers. Afterwards with The Seacrest he’s chatting with his dad who is sporting an awesome pink shirt
Here is Rebecca Garcia. A cute regular girl with a ‘cheat-sheet’ on her arm. She’s going Carrie Underwood country. She’s bad and the judges start ripping her. Kara gets real nasty. She claims to think the girl is joking with them. Not sure even Simon is that rough.
We get a quick glimpse at some good people, thank God. Now why couldn’t we see more of them? We will have to ponder that question later cause its commercial time. But first another tease of the SSN.
And here we are. The moment we have all been waiting for…SSN time!!! Its 18 year-old Leneshe Young daughter of a single mom. Seems they are poor but not homeless (it doesn’t really matter anymore cause now that The Chosen One is in office he is starting a new bailout program called the ‘American Idol Sob Story of the Night’ fund). If the feds don’t come through there is a back-up plan, a preacher prophesied that she would make here momma rich one day. I’m sure he will be coming around for his 10% tithe if she makes it all the way. She sings an original song. She’s ok. The judges gush over her!?!?! She wasn’t that good….oh wait she’s the SSN, she has to go through. Randy, Kara and Simon all say yes. Paula says no then says she was just joking…the big kidder.
And that wraps up tonight’s show. See ya next week. Same bat time same bat channel.
Tonight we are at Churchill Downs KY home of the Kentucky Derby, I guess first up will be Seattle Slew or Sea Biscuit.
And we are off and running – please, please be better than the awful tripe from last night
Simon is wearing a black t-shirt today instead of his gray-white one (the rebel), Paula is sporting a school-marm hairdo and glasses. Randy is wearing, ah who cares what Randy is wearing? New Girl is looking pretty good in a black dress.
Random people are lining up to try out. Guy in a porta-potty, girl with blue-hair – it is the blue grass state.
First up is some tall leggy pale blonde with scary eyes and fake eyelashes named Tiffany (of course). Who is going to college if she doesn’t make it. She’s rough; she’s going to college or beauty school. Simon compares her to a donkey. I don’t think she sings as bad as The Donk – I’ve heard him in the shower, ewwww
Next up is Joanna. A pretty dark haired lass. She seems like a normal person compared to the first one. Hmmm she used to have a record deal, Kara knows of her. She’s got a strong voice. Simon actually smiles. Randy tries to smile but the Botox prevents it. She gets four yeses.
And at the 9 minute mark we have our first commercial break. More car, food and weed commercials…the American dream
And here is Mark Mudd, doing a WV bluegrass sounding tune. And looking like a shaved-head psycho who might snap. He’s not getting the golden ticket, restraining order maybe.
Brent Keith does a bluesy rocking version of Can’t Get Enough of Your Love. Simon tries to give him some advice and the chicks freak out. Kara threatens to not talk anymore! (Yes! Finally!) Brent gets the tic
Well we’ve had 2 auditions so it must be time for a commercial.
Now time for the prerequisite truly awful and weird. Including some guy with a mask that looks like a Zebra Super Hero
Matt Giurad is a ‘Dueling Piano Player’. He fights duels with pianos? Guns or Knives? I like him. Let’s see what the judges have to say. They dig him to and send him on.
Ross the Nerd is up next. He does something with Chinese characters, rearranges them or something. Probably has Chinese characters on his footsie PJ’s. He’s not good. He drinks some water and tries again with Love Me Tender. He’s sent packing. Back to play Dungeons and Dragons I guess.
A quick montage of hopefuls jumping around with their golden paper to the tune of Shout and then on to some commercials…whoa lots of commercials
Day 2 and a new outfit for Paula. She’s gone from looking like a spinster-librarian to a hooker. Simon is still in a black shirt and Randy is in white shirt. They should be singing Ebony and Ivory
First up is Alexis Grace a stay at home mom whose hubby is away at military school. She is bringing the soul out of a little white girl body and all but Kara like her. I thought she was good. What’s Kara’s problem? She seems to like to be argumentative just for the heck of it – Simon wannabe without the gift of sarcasm Simon has
Well that was one audition this segment, which is a lot of work, so we better take a commercial break. But first a preview look at our Sob Story of the Night (SSN). Looks like it’s a former homeless person or something
After the break a quick look at bunch of awful people.
And here is Aaron Williamson. A very, very hyper black dude. Break out the Ritalin. He starts of with a loud shout that almost knocks Paula ‘Working Girl’ Abdul’s boobs right out of her dress. The Seacrest comes in to see what the racket was all about. Aaron is sent to the showers. Afterwards with The Seacrest he’s chatting with his dad who is sporting an awesome pink shirt
Here is Rebecca Garcia. A cute regular girl with a ‘cheat-sheet’ on her arm. She’s going Carrie Underwood country. She’s bad and the judges start ripping her. Kara gets real nasty. She claims to think the girl is joking with them. Not sure even Simon is that rough.
We get a quick glimpse at some good people, thank God. Now why couldn’t we see more of them? We will have to ponder that question later cause its commercial time. But first another tease of the SSN.
And here we are. The moment we have all been waiting for…SSN time!!! Its 18 year-old Leneshe Young daughter of a single mom. Seems they are poor but not homeless (it doesn’t really matter anymore cause now that The Chosen One is in office he is starting a new bailout program called the ‘American Idol Sob Story of the Night’ fund). If the feds don’t come through there is a back-up plan, a preacher prophesied that she would make here momma rich one day. I’m sure he will be coming around for his 10% tithe if she makes it all the way. She sings an original song. She’s ok. The judges gush over her!?!?! She wasn’t that good….oh wait she’s the SSN, she has to go through. Randy, Kara and Simon all say yes. Paula says no then says she was just joking…the big kidder.
And that wraps up tonight’s show. See ya next week. Same bat time same bat channel.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
American Idol Night - '09
Warning this is an un-edited post. The owner of this Blog takes no responsibility (for pretty much anything he does) for what’s said below. All slights are intended.
We come to you tonight from lovely San Francisco. Land of sunshine and beaches. Does this mean we will have a repeat of night one’s Tall Skinny Singing Bikini Babe? Will Randy, with all the work he’s had done on his face, feel right at home? Will Paula skip the show to go sunbathing? (What? San Fran isn't real hot - Oh i must be thinking of san diego - my bad) Will Simon be wearing his traditional grey/white t-shirt? Will new girl had some ‘Dudes’ to her already tiring saying of ‘Chops’ and ‘Total Package’?
This and other burning questions will be answered on tonight’s edition of AI.
Ok its looking a little cold there, maybe this one wasn’t filmed last summer.
The Seacrest starts the show and gets critiqued by the judges
First up is some girl whose name I can’t spell and/or pronounce but she has an incredible annoying laugh and a weird dress with a mosquito net attached to the bottom of it. More laughing and finally some ‘singing’. Oh so dramatic during the judging. Paula with her 10 year-old Michael Jackson hat on says yes, Randy and his very smooth face says yes and new girl says yes. So her and her annoying laugh are off to Hollywood. One can only hope her psychic is wrong
Ford commercial and an announcement that they are the sponsor of AI…Ford must of gotten their bailout check at the inauguration today.
Olive Garden commercial – have I ever blogged about them before? – Italian Fast Food….blech. it’s sacrilegious, unless you are Irish or British and have no idea what good food is
Nick Reed 17 year-old High School student with orange hair – probably gets stuffed in his locker a lot by the jocks
Unemployed dude wearing my grandmother’s drapes as a jacket is up next. Kinda looks and sounds like a wolf baying at the moon. He starts to show what’s under his coat – the Fox censors reach for their buttons
Next up is Jesus, no not that One, the non-walking on water one. Got his wife and kids with him. He’s not awful. He plays the Kid Card. Kids come trooping in with their signs. Jesus II and Gabriel (really). Randy has him sing to his kids. Schlocky but it works.
Side note – Randy appears to being a necklace made out of colored macaroni noodles, probably stolen from my house.
We now break to pay the bills and for Paula to buy a new hat – hopefully
RS is wearing a white t-shirt with a black sweatshirt over it…a little too casual?
Dalton ‘Rubik’s Cube’ Powell sings a Smokey Robinson song. He has about 1% of Smokey’s voice. He’s very bad and shy.
Here’s another break, man that was a short segment. I guess this is an hour commercial where occasionally American Idol breaks out
A little montage of Simon and Kara spatting…boring.
Here is some chick with wild skunk hair who is studying anatomy or something. Learning all the parts of the throat. Maybe she’s studying to be a serial killer…her name is something like A-Killer…what? Oh its Akilah. She butchers two songs and then goes into a lecture on body parts and the judges’ resumes. When she messes up and says that she "sang from the wrong rectum." ?huh? Paula leaves and the Serial Killer won’t leave. Now Kara tries to get rid of her. That was kinda bizarre. Ok that was really bizarre
And shockers of shockers, more ads. The first one is for Weed or maybe it’s against weed. You can’t really tell. No cameo appearance my Jason Castro in the commercial…weird…
Here’s an Acura commercial…hmm…maybe Obama didn’t give Ford a check today after all
We are 45 minutes into a 60 minute show and it stinks so far…can no one in San Fran sing. Where’s Janis or The Dead when you need them.
We are back with 10 second clips of a few people that made it.
Here is Annie Murdock. Going do some Bonnie Raitt but has no idea what she wants to sing. She is also unemployed (a sign of the recession) and not likely to get a job as a singer anytime soon. Simon thinks she sings like a booze hound.
Here is slightly hyper Adam (who my teen girls think is cute). Doing a little queen tonight (for the Donk I suppose). I like him. Simon calls him theatrical. But says yes and so do the others so own he goes. He says had a crash on Paula when he was 10 and proceeds to kiss her hand
Yes more commercials at least we got to see two whole auditions that segment
Here is our last of the day. Kai the Lama,(excuse me? Oh Kalama) our requisite sob-story for the night. This dude takes care of his mother who has seizures. He casually mentions he’s not dating anyone at the moment…Ladies? He’s very confident and he’s not bad. I like the hair. (its all about the hair). More Simon/Kara cat-fighting and Kai is thru to HW. And Randy dishes out his first Dawg of the night. We almost made it without a Dawg. A shot of Kai calling Mumba (mom I guess).
12 from SF make the cut – worst city yet
Ok that’s it for tonight – I’m off for a late night run with Uncle Bryan
We come to you tonight from lovely San Francisco. Land of sunshine and beaches. Does this mean we will have a repeat of night one’s Tall Skinny Singing Bikini Babe? Will Randy, with all the work he’s had done on his face, feel right at home? Will Paula skip the show to go sunbathing? (What? San Fran isn't real hot - Oh i must be thinking of san diego - my bad) Will Simon be wearing his traditional grey/white t-shirt? Will new girl had some ‘Dudes’ to her already tiring saying of ‘Chops’ and ‘Total Package’?
This and other burning questions will be answered on tonight’s edition of AI.
Ok its looking a little cold there, maybe this one wasn’t filmed last summer.
The Seacrest starts the show and gets critiqued by the judges
First up is some girl whose name I can’t spell and/or pronounce but she has an incredible annoying laugh and a weird dress with a mosquito net attached to the bottom of it. More laughing and finally some ‘singing’. Oh so dramatic during the judging. Paula with her 10 year-old Michael Jackson hat on says yes, Randy and his very smooth face says yes and new girl says yes. So her and her annoying laugh are off to Hollywood. One can only hope her psychic is wrong
Ford commercial and an announcement that they are the sponsor of AI…Ford must of gotten their bailout check at the inauguration today.
Olive Garden commercial – have I ever blogged about them before? – Italian Fast Food….blech. it’s sacrilegious, unless you are Irish or British and have no idea what good food is
Nick Reed 17 year-old High School student with orange hair – probably gets stuffed in his locker a lot by the jocks
Unemployed dude wearing my grandmother’s drapes as a jacket is up next. Kinda looks and sounds like a wolf baying at the moon. He starts to show what’s under his coat – the Fox censors reach for their buttons
Next up is Jesus, no not that One, the non-walking on water one. Got his wife and kids with him. He’s not awful. He plays the Kid Card. Kids come trooping in with their signs. Jesus II and Gabriel (really). Randy has him sing to his kids. Schlocky but it works.
Side note – Randy appears to being a necklace made out of colored macaroni noodles, probably stolen from my house.
We now break to pay the bills and for Paula to buy a new hat – hopefully
RS is wearing a white t-shirt with a black sweatshirt over it…a little too casual?
Dalton ‘Rubik’s Cube’ Powell sings a Smokey Robinson song. He has about 1% of Smokey’s voice. He’s very bad and shy.
Here’s another break, man that was a short segment. I guess this is an hour commercial where occasionally American Idol breaks out
A little montage of Simon and Kara spatting…boring.
Here is some chick with wild skunk hair who is studying anatomy or something. Learning all the parts of the throat. Maybe she’s studying to be a serial killer…her name is something like A-Killer…what? Oh its Akilah. She butchers two songs and then goes into a lecture on body parts and the judges’ resumes. When she messes up and says that she "sang from the wrong rectum." ?huh? Paula leaves and the Serial Killer won’t leave. Now Kara tries to get rid of her. That was kinda bizarre. Ok that was really bizarre
And shockers of shockers, more ads. The first one is for Weed or maybe it’s against weed. You can’t really tell. No cameo appearance my Jason Castro in the commercial…weird…
Here’s an Acura commercial…hmm…maybe Obama didn’t give Ford a check today after all
We are 45 minutes into a 60 minute show and it stinks so far…can no one in San Fran sing. Where’s Janis or The Dead when you need them.
We are back with 10 second clips of a few people that made it.
Here is Annie Murdock. Going do some Bonnie Raitt but has no idea what she wants to sing. She is also unemployed (a sign of the recession) and not likely to get a job as a singer anytime soon. Simon thinks she sings like a booze hound.
Here is slightly hyper Adam (who my teen girls think is cute). Doing a little queen tonight (for the Donk I suppose). I like him. Simon calls him theatrical. But says yes and so do the others so own he goes. He says had a crash on Paula when he was 10 and proceeds to kiss her hand
Yes more commercials at least we got to see two whole auditions that segment
Here is our last of the day. Kai the Lama,(excuse me? Oh Kalama) our requisite sob-story for the night. This dude takes care of his mother who has seizures. He casually mentions he’s not dating anyone at the moment…Ladies? He’s very confident and he’s not bad. I like the hair. (its all about the hair). More Simon/Kara cat-fighting and Kai is thru to HW. And Randy dishes out his first Dawg of the night. We almost made it without a Dawg. A shot of Kai calling Mumba (mom I guess).
12 from SF make the cut – worst city yet
Ok that’s it for tonight – I’m off for a late night run with Uncle Bryan
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Today's Workouts
9 mile run right before lunch at the track of the local high school. Plus a short run planned for later tonight after AI. Probably 5 miles or so with the kids Uncle Bryan.
edit - ran 7 mile after AI. 16 total for the day.
edit - ran 7 mile after AI. 16 total for the day.
If it's the 20th of the Month
It must be date-day. 19 years and 4 months anniversary. Sam and I went to lunch at a local family restaurant. Cream of Crab soup for both us. Plus a cheese steak sub for Sam and an Italian salad for me.
Monday, January 19, 2009
What’s in a title?
When did we start supping-up job titles? Does it make people feel better about themselves and their jobs? Do they have that low of self esteem that they have to have an important sounding job title?
Secretary has become Administrative Assistant
Babysitters are Childcare Providers
Bank Tellers are Customer Service Representatives
Sales Clerk’s are called Sales Associates
Sandwich Artist equals Subway employee
Housewife’s are known as Domestic Engineers
Garbage Men are Refuse Collectors
Even Drug Dealers and Strippers have gotten into the act. They now like to be called Street Pharmaceutical Engineers and Clothing Removal Specialists respectively
So maybe Nurse’s Aides should be called Gluteus Maximus Wipers
Even my job title sounds a lot more important than it is. I’m a Software Tester and that title is fine with me but officially at my company my job title is ‘Senior Quality Assurance Engineer’. Seriously. Sounds pretty important don’t it? Bet you wish you were me now….LOL. What you don’t know is that a trained monkey or even a donkey could do my job. Right Donk?
Oh yeah I forgot what brought all this on. Sam dropped off the door to our wood stove today at a glass repair shop. One of the teenagers, who shall remain nameless (Caleb), broke the glass in the door. Anyway the shop called later in the day to say that the ‘Technician’ would be looking at it tomorrow and let us know his opinion. Dude just put another stinking piece of glass in the door. Heck I could do it if I wasn’t so darn lazy and un-handy.
Secretary has become Administrative Assistant
Babysitters are Childcare Providers
Bank Tellers are Customer Service Representatives
Sales Clerk’s are called Sales Associates
Sandwich Artist equals Subway employee
Housewife’s are known as Domestic Engineers
Garbage Men are Refuse Collectors
Even Drug Dealers and Strippers have gotten into the act. They now like to be called Street Pharmaceutical Engineers and Clothing Removal Specialists respectively
So maybe Nurse’s Aides should be called Gluteus Maximus Wipers
Even my job title sounds a lot more important than it is. I’m a Software Tester and that title is fine with me but officially at my company my job title is ‘Senior Quality Assurance Engineer’. Seriously. Sounds pretty important don’t it? Bet you wish you were me now….LOL. What you don’t know is that a trained monkey or even a donkey could do my job. Right Donk?
Oh yeah I forgot what brought all this on. Sam dropped off the door to our wood stove today at a glass repair shop. One of the teenagers, who shall remain nameless (Caleb), broke the glass in the door. Anyway the shop called later in the day to say that the ‘Technician’ would be looking at it tomorrow and let us know his opinion. Dude just put another stinking piece of glass in the door. Heck I could do it if I wasn’t so darn lazy and un-handy.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Their Goose Wasn't Cooked
I'm sure by now everyone has seen the news stories of the plane that had to land in the Hudson River after messing up it's engine/s when it hit a flock of geese. The pictures and video's are quite amazing. Mad props to the pilot for the wicked landing.
You may or may not have seen that the Feds rushed to assure everyone that they didn't think that the 'Goose Attack' was not terrorist related. Do we actually pay these people?
On a related note, Greenpeace has filed an animal cruelty lawsuit against; US Airways, Airbus (the manufacturer of the plane), the planes pilots and Henry Hudson the British sailor who explored the river and had it named after him........and who died in 1611. Spokesmen for the Hudson Family declined to comment for this article.
You may or may not have seen that the Feds rushed to assure everyone that they didn't think that the 'Goose Attack' was not terrorist related. Do we actually pay these people?
On a related note, Greenpeace has filed an animal cruelty lawsuit against; US Airways, Airbus (the manufacturer of the plane), the planes pilots and Henry Hudson the British sailor who explored the river and had it named after him........and who died in 1611. Spokesmen for the Hudson Family declined to comment for this article.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Not Quite Sure That's the Way it Works
Mary (5) "I want mommy to eat lots of chocolate so we can have a black baby this time. I really want a black baby sister"
American Idol Night - '09
Night two of the auditions.
These auditions are from Kansas City, home of last year’s winner David Cook.
Is it just me or has Randy had work done? Botox maybe?
Jason ‘420’ Castro is here with his brother who is trying out.
Chelsea is up first and she’s not good, Simon and Randy break out the cat falling of the Empire State Building comparison. The ladies try to be nice. Apparently I think like Randy and Simon (not something to be proud of – I know), right before they started with the cat stuff I said to the family “She sounds like a cat being tortured’
Ashley ‘I have Cher Bangs’ is up next. She messes up the words but then restarts and nails it.
It appears that Judge Kara’s go to word is going to be ‘Chops’
After a long commercial break….are we sure ther is a recession? You wouldn’t know it from the amount if commercials. I guess AI can still command the major jack for its ad spots
Casey is up, weird outfit combo (pretty dress with cowboy boots) but cute and can sing. The judges agree too
Brian ‘Former opera Singer Wannabe’ Big voice, not a good voice, but a big voice. Kinda Freaked me out. Randy breaks out his first ‘Dawg’ of the night
Another long break to pay for some more Botox shots for Randy and grey t-shirts for Simon
We get to briefly meet David Cook’s parents
Then we are ‘treated’ to a host of bad singers. Fodder for the judges.
Now we have Von ‘I’m not Dorothy’ Schmidt singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. The judges leave him and us hanging for some more commercials.
Hey want do you know, Ford is still in business. It’s an ad for some vehicle called Flex. Or maybe that’s not the name and what it does? I’m not sure I was in too much shock that Ford still made cars
Hey we are back and the Vonster is going to H-Wood. Kara breaks out her second great Chops of the night. Maybe she’s getting paid per Chop
Now we have a Jason Castro flashback (Jason probably has a lot of flashbacks). And they bring out Jason and his bro Michael who is trying out this year. He’s got some Pink and Black emo-hairdo going. He’s so-so. Kara calls him ‘ballsy’ and sends FOX’s censors scrambling for the beep button. The judges send him through. If I worked at LAX I’d check Jason for weed and Michael for ecstasy
And that’s it for that segment back to our main program of the night, commercials
A yellow and orange suited guy is signing “Do you want a banana?” I will have nightmares of that dude for years to come.
Next we have big tough dude (like the oil rigger from last night). I think I’m going to like him and I do. Randy says no, Kara and Paula say yes………and Simon goes along with the chicks.
Seacrest hasn’t annoyed me once tonight and he has on a brown and green strip shirt that I’m digging….hmm what could that mean?
Jasmine ‘Jazz’ Joseph is doing her Dorothy impersonation too. How many people are going to try and sing Somewhere over the Rainbow tonight? I mean I understand we are in Kansas…but…She gets the heave ho.
More Wizard of Oz references…..
Jessica Paige Furney is doing a Janis Joplin song – that’s a tall order. But the girl has some lungs on her and belts it out pretty well and is heading west
And yes it’s time for more commercials –shocking I know
We are back with some rappin’ sisters. One very small and one very large. Asia, the bigger of the two, goes first and is bad. India, the smaller one, isn’t too bad. The judges send India and whacks Asia.
Jamar ‘Bartender’ Rogers – I sure hopes he mixes drinks better than he sings. But apparently I know zero about music since the judges send him on.
Coming up after another 600 commercials we are promised a moving and dramatic story
Now we are back and it’s Danny Gokey’s story (he’s Jamar’s ‘brother’ – not a real brother since he is white an Jamar is black – but you probably figured that out by yourself). His wife died recently. I assume he’s going to be good or else they wouldn’t have done the heart-breaking story on him, not even FOX would stoop that low would they? And yes, he is good.
Oh no, now we get a handful of truly awful women. More casualties for the judges to make faces at and fun of. The judges seem more restrained this year. A Kinder Gentler AI?
Now we have Anoop, a mildly geeky looking Indian dude, who can sing. The judges are surprised that he can sing and give him the yellow piece of paper.
And back to the painful and ridiculous all singing “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” and then thankfully it’s over and we get to watch commercials instead.
We are back and its ‘gimmick people time’. A whole assortment of the weird and crazy – no way to list them all. Except for one, Andrew, who sends in two ‘cheerleaders’ to warm-up the judges for him. Tall skinny white dude is going to sing “My Girl”. Simon says no to Andrew and the cheerleaders. Randy says yes but then changes his mind. The cheer squad starts bawling. And Andrew is sent away. And there are even more cheerleaders waiting outside with The Seacrest.
Band Director Asa Barnes. He looks like a cool regular dude. Randy gives him two Dawgs. He’s going to sing a MJ song (Michael Jackson not Jordon). Simon questions why he chose that song, Asa says cause he likes the song. The judges all say yes. Asa is greeted outside by very cute little daughter and pretty preggo wife.
Break time people, smoke if you got em.
Here’s a strange looking cat wearing a medal he won for singing way back in grade school. He has some mommy-complex and is doing the idol audition to prove to momma that he can sing. Momma was right.
The song he sings is one he wrote about his mom and then he sings one about his grandma. He might need some therapy.
And now a high-energy ‘crazy’ black dude, Dennis Brigham, he says he had a dream about Simon saying he was the best. It’s a nuts and over-the-top performance. Somehow he talks the 3 minor judges into sending him on, Simon is not fooled.
Hey get this, its commercial time again, I know, I’m shocked too. Most of the ads are for either fast-food places or movie and TV promos. It seems America no longer makes anything but we like to sit around and eat and watch movies and get fat.
Red Dress, Red Streaked Hair girl is first up after the break. She is grating on the ears. The judges cut her short and axe her. She threatens to bring down the wrath of God on the judges.
A pleasant mother of 3, Lil Rounds, is up next, she has a sob story too (real one), tornado trashed her place. She’s doing Stevie Wonder, minus the glasses and blindness, she has a good soulful voice. Kara really likes, Paula Loves her, Simon gives her a fantastic and Randy agrees. Good, she’s a real person.
So at the end of the show the tally is another 27 giving the golden ticket.
I have no time to proofread this, so be nice people. I’m off to bed to get some shuteye before my long run in the am.
These auditions are from Kansas City, home of last year’s winner David Cook.
Is it just me or has Randy had work done? Botox maybe?
Jason ‘420’ Castro is here with his brother who is trying out.
Chelsea is up first and she’s not good, Simon and Randy break out the cat falling of the Empire State Building comparison. The ladies try to be nice. Apparently I think like Randy and Simon (not something to be proud of – I know), right before they started with the cat stuff I said to the family “She sounds like a cat being tortured’
Ashley ‘I have Cher Bangs’ is up next. She messes up the words but then restarts and nails it.
It appears that Judge Kara’s go to word is going to be ‘Chops’
After a long commercial break….are we sure ther is a recession? You wouldn’t know it from the amount if commercials. I guess AI can still command the major jack for its ad spots
Casey is up, weird outfit combo (pretty dress with cowboy boots) but cute and can sing. The judges agree too
Brian ‘Former opera Singer Wannabe’ Big voice, not a good voice, but a big voice. Kinda Freaked me out. Randy breaks out his first ‘Dawg’ of the night
Another long break to pay for some more Botox shots for Randy and grey t-shirts for Simon
We get to briefly meet David Cook’s parents
Then we are ‘treated’ to a host of bad singers. Fodder for the judges.
Now we have Von ‘I’m not Dorothy’ Schmidt singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. The judges leave him and us hanging for some more commercials.
Hey want do you know, Ford is still in business. It’s an ad for some vehicle called Flex. Or maybe that’s not the name and what it does? I’m not sure I was in too much shock that Ford still made cars
Hey we are back and the Vonster is going to H-Wood. Kara breaks out her second great Chops of the night. Maybe she’s getting paid per Chop
Now we have a Jason Castro flashback (Jason probably has a lot of flashbacks). And they bring out Jason and his bro Michael who is trying out this year. He’s got some Pink and Black emo-hairdo going. He’s so-so. Kara calls him ‘ballsy’ and sends FOX’s censors scrambling for the beep button. The judges send him through. If I worked at LAX I’d check Jason for weed and Michael for ecstasy
And that’s it for that segment back to our main program of the night, commercials
A yellow and orange suited guy is signing “Do you want a banana?” I will have nightmares of that dude for years to come.
Next we have big tough dude (like the oil rigger from last night). I think I’m going to like him and I do. Randy says no, Kara and Paula say yes………and Simon goes along with the chicks.
Seacrest hasn’t annoyed me once tonight and he has on a brown and green strip shirt that I’m digging….hmm what could that mean?
Jasmine ‘Jazz’ Joseph is doing her Dorothy impersonation too. How many people are going to try and sing Somewhere over the Rainbow tonight? I mean I understand we are in Kansas…but…She gets the heave ho.
More Wizard of Oz references…..
Jessica Paige Furney is doing a Janis Joplin song – that’s a tall order. But the girl has some lungs on her and belts it out pretty well and is heading west
And yes it’s time for more commercials –shocking I know
We are back with some rappin’ sisters. One very small and one very large. Asia, the bigger of the two, goes first and is bad. India, the smaller one, isn’t too bad. The judges send India and whacks Asia.
Jamar ‘Bartender’ Rogers – I sure hopes he mixes drinks better than he sings. But apparently I know zero about music since the judges send him on.
Coming up after another 600 commercials we are promised a moving and dramatic story
Now we are back and it’s Danny Gokey’s story (he’s Jamar’s ‘brother’ – not a real brother since he is white an Jamar is black – but you probably figured that out by yourself). His wife died recently. I assume he’s going to be good or else they wouldn’t have done the heart-breaking story on him, not even FOX would stoop that low would they? And yes, he is good.
Oh no, now we get a handful of truly awful women. More casualties for the judges to make faces at and fun of. The judges seem more restrained this year. A Kinder Gentler AI?
Now we have Anoop, a mildly geeky looking Indian dude, who can sing. The judges are surprised that he can sing and give him the yellow piece of paper.
And back to the painful and ridiculous all singing “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” and then thankfully it’s over and we get to watch commercials instead.
We are back and its ‘gimmick people time’. A whole assortment of the weird and crazy – no way to list them all. Except for one, Andrew, who sends in two ‘cheerleaders’ to warm-up the judges for him. Tall skinny white dude is going to sing “My Girl”. Simon says no to Andrew and the cheerleaders. Randy says yes but then changes his mind. The cheer squad starts bawling. And Andrew is sent away. And there are even more cheerleaders waiting outside with The Seacrest.
Band Director Asa Barnes. He looks like a cool regular dude. Randy gives him two Dawgs. He’s going to sing a MJ song (Michael Jackson not Jordon). Simon questions why he chose that song, Asa says cause he likes the song. The judges all say yes. Asa is greeted outside by very cute little daughter and pretty preggo wife.
Break time people, smoke if you got em.
Here’s a strange looking cat wearing a medal he won for singing way back in grade school. He has some mommy-complex and is doing the idol audition to prove to momma that he can sing. Momma was right.
The song he sings is one he wrote about his mom and then he sings one about his grandma. He might need some therapy.
And now a high-energy ‘crazy’ black dude, Dennis Brigham, he says he had a dream about Simon saying he was the best. It’s a nuts and over-the-top performance. Somehow he talks the 3 minor judges into sending him on, Simon is not fooled.
Hey get this, its commercial time again, I know, I’m shocked too. Most of the ads are for either fast-food places or movie and TV promos. It seems America no longer makes anything but we like to sit around and eat and watch movies and get fat.
Red Dress, Red Streaked Hair girl is first up after the break. She is grating on the ears. The judges cut her short and axe her. She threatens to bring down the wrath of God on the judges.
A pleasant mother of 3, Lil Rounds, is up next, she has a sob story too (real one), tornado trashed her place. She’s doing Stevie Wonder, minus the glasses and blindness, she has a good soulful voice. Kara really likes, Paula Loves her, Simon gives her a fantastic and Randy agrees. Good, she’s a real person.
So at the end of the show the tally is another 27 giving the golden ticket.
I have no time to proofread this, so be nice people. I’m off to bed to get some shuteye before my long run in the am.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
RIP Mr. Roarke
Ricardo Montalban, aka Mr. Roarke, dies at 88
What kid watching TV in the late 70's - early 80's didn't want to go to Fantasy Island?
He also played in many other shows, musicals and movies. Including Khan in Star Trek-The Wrath of Khan. But he will always be best remembered as the disher-outer of fantasies in Fantasy Island.
88 years is a pretty good run so don't be sad. As Mr. Roarke would say "Smiles, everyone... smiles!"
What kid watching TV in the late 70's - early 80's didn't want to go to Fantasy Island?
He also played in many other shows, musicals and movies. Including Khan in Star Trek-The Wrath of Khan. But he will always be best remembered as the disher-outer of fantasies in Fantasy Island.
88 years is a pretty good run so don't be sad. As Mr. Roarke would say "Smiles, everyone... smiles!"
American Idol Night - '09
Ok Sam was out for the evening and I was bored so I watched the show even though I said I wouldn’t. Here are a few random thoughts from last night’s show
We are in lovely Arizona for auditions
A rocker wannbe who cries - a lot
Paula flipped-off Simon
A scary tatted-up girl got through, reminiscent of Carly from last season
A unintelligible geek who almost barfs and things like cross between Freddy and Jason. Actually there were a few of those
A black person with a kinda Mohawk haircut who I couldn’t tell if it was a he or a she
A sweet 16 year-old girl who Simon is actually nice to and lets her through
A guy with a freakishly deep voice
Crazy 16 yo wearing pink who is a HUGE Kara fan – she has stalker written all over her
An oilrig tough guy who sings a Boyz II Men song!?.....and is good – go figure
‘Bikini Girl’ who almost gets into a cat-fight with Kara and Paula. if you close your eyes and just listen to her, she actually sings well
Detroit’s woes seemed to have affected the advertising, there weren’t 42 Ford commercials
Some guy who calls himself ‘Sexual Chocolate’ – dude stole my nickname
Ryan Seacrest is still a dork – albeit a rich one
17 yo Goth-Emo hybrid who makes horror movies with his camcorder - who sings better than you would think from looking at him – judges think so too and give him the a golden ticket (it gets one to Hollywood not Wonka World)
According to the promos a blind-dude is coming on. Simon wouldn’t make fun of a blind person would he?
Sweet southern gal who sings Sittin on the Dock of the Bay and sells it
Some squirrelly dude that Simon doesn’t like but Randy and the rest do so he gets through…I’m with Simon on this one…oh well maybe with a band backing him up he will sound better
Time for blind guy, college at 14! I don’t find him great but he’s ok. The judges send him on to Hollywood. Hopefully they really liked him and he wasn’t sent through as a feel-good story only
So bottom line, we got some good and some mediocre singers (no one particularly great) going to Hollywood.
We are in lovely Arizona for auditions
A rocker wannbe who cries - a lot
Paula flipped-off Simon
A scary tatted-up girl got through, reminiscent of Carly from last season
A unintelligible geek who almost barfs and things like cross between Freddy and Jason. Actually there were a few of those
A black person with a kinda Mohawk haircut who I couldn’t tell if it was a he or a she
A sweet 16 year-old girl who Simon is actually nice to and lets her through
A guy with a freakishly deep voice
Crazy 16 yo wearing pink who is a HUGE Kara fan – she has stalker written all over her
An oilrig tough guy who sings a Boyz II Men song!?.....and is good – go figure
‘Bikini Girl’ who almost gets into a cat-fight with Kara and Paula. if you close your eyes and just listen to her, she actually sings well
Detroit’s woes seemed to have affected the advertising, there weren’t 42 Ford commercials
Some guy who calls himself ‘Sexual Chocolate’ – dude stole my nickname
Ryan Seacrest is still a dork – albeit a rich one
17 yo Goth-Emo hybrid who makes horror movies with his camcorder - who sings better than you would think from looking at him – judges think so too and give him the a golden ticket (it gets one to Hollywood not Wonka World)
According to the promos a blind-dude is coming on. Simon wouldn’t make fun of a blind person would he?
Sweet southern gal who sings Sittin on the Dock of the Bay and sells it
Some squirrelly dude that Simon doesn’t like but Randy and the rest do so he gets through…I’m with Simon on this one…oh well maybe with a band backing him up he will sound better
Time for blind guy, college at 14! I don’t find him great but he’s ok. The judges send him on to Hollywood. Hopefully they really liked him and he wasn’t sent through as a feel-good story only
So bottom line, we got some good and some mediocre singers (no one particularly great) going to Hollywood.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
They Are Back!
Before American Idol starts tonight, let’s guess what’s going to happen.
Randy will say Hot a lot and call male and female contestants alike ‘Dawg’
Paula will:
a) Show too much cleavage
b) Seem to be drunk and/or high
c) Inappropriately gush about how much she loves some underage boy singer
d) All of the above
Simon will either be incredibly rude in criticizing someone’s performance or think they were the best he’s ever heard.
New judge Kara DioGuardi will struggle to get a word in. Although it’s possible the other 3 will let her talk at least on this her first night.
Regular updates will be posted once they get to Hollywood or a truck stop off I-80 outside Des Moines Iowa or wherever they are having the finals this year. First we have to get through the more obnoxious early auditions.
The original 3 Mouseketeers
Newcomer Judge Kara
Randy will say Hot a lot and call male and female contestants alike ‘Dawg’
Paula will:
a) Show too much cleavage
b) Seem to be drunk and/or high
c) Inappropriately gush about how much she loves some underage boy singer
d) All of the above
Simon will either be incredibly rude in criticizing someone’s performance or think they were the best he’s ever heard.
New judge Kara DioGuardi will struggle to get a word in. Although it’s possible the other 3 will let her talk at least on this her first night.
Regular updates will be posted once they get to Hollywood or a truck stop off I-80 outside Des Moines Iowa or wherever they are having the finals this year. First we have to get through the more obnoxious early auditions.
The original 3 Mouseketeers
Newcomer Judge Kara
Monday, January 12, 2009
I Love Karma
Apparently the TSA's (those of the motto 'You are Guilty until Proven Innocent') new uniforms are making their stormtroopers sick.
From the Washington Post - "skin rashes, …runny or bloody noses, lightheadedness, red eyes, and swollen and cracked lips." Or at least that’s what the American Federation of Government Employees (AFGE) claims. It "estimate[s]" that 200 or 300 "workers" have complained of such symptoms.
The tormentors are now being tormented by their new uniforms - there is a God!
The new uniforms (including badges) have a cop wannabe look (the better to terrorize passengers with?) and were unveiled last summer to the tune of a $12 million price tag. 12,000,000 of your dollars and mine.
Allegedly it's the formaldehyde used to make the uniforms permanent press that are causing the trouble - didn't we just have a similar problem with bra's and some woman's tata's?
No word on whether or not their jackboots were too tight also.
The real police aren't too thrilled with the new digs either. Police officers and their unions across country are worried about the TSA impersonating the real police.
From the Washington Post - "skin rashes, …runny or bloody noses, lightheadedness, red eyes, and swollen and cracked lips." Or at least that’s what the American Federation of Government Employees (AFGE) claims. It "estimate[s]" that 200 or 300 "workers" have complained of such symptoms.
The tormentors are now being tormented by their new uniforms - there is a God!
The new uniforms (including badges) have a cop wannabe look (the better to terrorize passengers with?) and were unveiled last summer to the tune of a $12 million price tag. 12,000,000 of your dollars and mine.
Allegedly it's the formaldehyde used to make the uniforms permanent press that are causing the trouble - didn't we just have a similar problem with bra's and some woman's tata's?
No word on whether or not their jackboots were too tight also.
The real police aren't too thrilled with the new digs either. Police officers and their unions across country are worried about the TSA impersonating the real police.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Today's Workouts
Lunch time - 3.2 mile run and a 1,200 yard swim
After work killing some time - 3.5 mile run
After work killing some time - 3.5 mile run
My Dog Ate My Presentation
And other reasons for missing work.
For the record I missed Zero days of work in 2008 - other than vacation days of course...oh and that doesn't count time spent blogging at work...or running...or swimming...or hanging out with The Donk...or grocery shopping...or...oh nevermind
From MSN
Most memorable excuses
If you decide to take tomorrow off, it behooves you to tell the truth. But if you'd rather get a little creative, take a look at what excuses employees have given for not going to work:
1. Employee didn't want to lose the parking space in front of his house.
2. Employee hit a turkey while riding a bike.
3. Employee said he had a heart attack early that morning, but that he was "all better now."
4. Employee donated too much blood.
5. Employee's dog was stressed out after a family reunion.
6. Employee was kicked by a deer.
7. Employee contracted mono after kissing a mailroom intern at the company holiday party and suggested the company post some sort of notice to warn others who may have kissed him.
8. Employee swallowed too much mouthwash.
9. Employee's wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work.
10. Employee's toe was injured when a soda can fell out of the refrigerator.
By Jason Ferrara vice president of corporate marketing for CareerBuilder.com.
For the record I missed Zero days of work in 2008 - other than vacation days of course...oh and that doesn't count time spent blogging at work...or running...or swimming...or hanging out with The Donk...or grocery shopping...or...oh nevermind
From MSN
Most memorable excuses
If you decide to take tomorrow off, it behooves you to tell the truth. But if you'd rather get a little creative, take a look at what excuses employees have given for not going to work:
1. Employee didn't want to lose the parking space in front of his house.
2. Employee hit a turkey while riding a bike.
3. Employee said he had a heart attack early that morning, but that he was "all better now."
4. Employee donated too much blood.
5. Employee's dog was stressed out after a family reunion.
6. Employee was kicked by a deer.
7. Employee contracted mono after kissing a mailroom intern at the company holiday party and suggested the company post some sort of notice to warn others who may have kissed him.
8. Employee swallowed too much mouthwash.
9. Employee's wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work.
10. Employee's toe was injured when a soda can fell out of the refrigerator.
By Jason Ferrara vice president of corporate marketing for CareerBuilder.com.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Catching up
Some highlights from the past month or so that I haven’t been blogging
• Barbara, Joey, Robert and Dominic are taking piano and seem to be doing well
• Advent was good but crazy busy at times
• Sam’s family all came over for Christmas the Sunday before Christmas. 60+ people – surprisingly all the valuables still seem to be here
• Cecilia (Hunter) was in a pres-school CCD play. She was an Angel – a real stretch of her acting ability. She wanted to be a rock but that part was taken apparently. Sam directed said play.
• We always buy our tree on Christmas Eve (tradition and we are cheap). This year all the lots in town were out of trees by then. Almost went the fake tree route but the kids revolted. Found one a few towns over.
• Eric (The World’s Fattest Baby) pulled all the TV equipment off the shelves, broke the DVD player. Second one he has broken in the past 6 months
• The economy still stinks but my job is going well and we are hanging in there ok.
• Sam is getting new French doors that are desperately needed but not the second set of washers and dryers she covets. Hey I gave her a baby too – you can’t have everything. We are in a recession after all
• Alex (18) is home from college break and is sharing a room with Mary (5) and Cecilia (3). She doesn’t seem to thrilled that we gave away her room and she has to share with the little girls
• Caleb got his learners permit 2 months ago and is doing well learning how to drive
• Christmas day we went to 8am mass then spent the day at the grandparents. The big gift this year was a Wii from my brother and assortment of games and accessories for it from my dad and stepmom.
• My Christmas haul was mainly triathlon related stuff: Rollers for biking indoors (basically something to kill yourself on – google them), swim mp3 player (can listen to music underwater), Garmin GPS watch (can use it to tell how far and fast you have run), French Press (indirectly workout related since it lets me get caffeine into me in a tastier way), and an assortment of clothes.
• Josh is still at the seminary and wasn’t home for Christmas. We will go up and see him in April. Over New Years I took Joey, Robert and Dominic to NH for a retreat. We stopped for the night each way in CT at Josh’s seminary. We had dinner, morning mass and breakfast with him each time. He is happy and doing well.
• Lizzie is also doing well – probably because she has her own room (Alex’s old room)
• Barbara is babysitting a lot and has more money than God
• We currently have 11 rolls of toilet paper in the house, enough for 3...4 days tops - if we conserve. I'm planning on going to DC to ask congress for a bailout plan to get us some more TP.
• Barbara, Joey, Robert and Dominic are taking piano and seem to be doing well
• Advent was good but crazy busy at times
• Sam’s family all came over for Christmas the Sunday before Christmas. 60+ people – surprisingly all the valuables still seem to be here
• Cecilia (Hunter) was in a pres-school CCD play. She was an Angel – a real stretch of her acting ability. She wanted to be a rock but that part was taken apparently. Sam directed said play.
• We always buy our tree on Christmas Eve (tradition and we are cheap). This year all the lots in town were out of trees by then. Almost went the fake tree route but the kids revolted. Found one a few towns over.
• Eric (The World’s Fattest Baby) pulled all the TV equipment off the shelves, broke the DVD player. Second one he has broken in the past 6 months
• The economy still stinks but my job is going well and we are hanging in there ok.
• Sam is getting new French doors that are desperately needed but not the second set of washers and dryers she covets. Hey I gave her a baby too – you can’t have everything. We are in a recession after all
• Alex (18) is home from college break and is sharing a room with Mary (5) and Cecilia (3). She doesn’t seem to thrilled that we gave away her room and she has to share with the little girls
• Caleb got his learners permit 2 months ago and is doing well learning how to drive
• Christmas day we went to 8am mass then spent the day at the grandparents. The big gift this year was a Wii from my brother and assortment of games and accessories for it from my dad and stepmom.
• My Christmas haul was mainly triathlon related stuff: Rollers for biking indoors (basically something to kill yourself on – google them), swim mp3 player (can listen to music underwater), Garmin GPS watch (can use it to tell how far and fast you have run), French Press (indirectly workout related since it lets me get caffeine into me in a tastier way), and an assortment of clothes.
• Josh is still at the seminary and wasn’t home for Christmas. We will go up and see him in April. Over New Years I took Joey, Robert and Dominic to NH for a retreat. We stopped for the night each way in CT at Josh’s seminary. We had dinner, morning mass and breakfast with him each time. He is happy and doing well.
• Lizzie is also doing well – probably because she has her own room (Alex’s old room)
• Barbara is babysitting a lot and has more money than God
• We currently have 11 rolls of toilet paper in the house, enough for 3...4 days tops - if we conserve. I'm planning on going to DC to ask congress for a bailout plan to get us some more TP.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
"The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated"
Sorry to have been gone so long. I was busy trying to engage in some more irresponsible parenting.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Today's Workouts
Woah I've been slacking. Not in my workouts, I'm still doing those, but in my posting. Life keeps getting in the way.
5 mile run this morning and swimming at lunch time.
5 mile run this morning and swimming at lunch time.
Friday, December 12, 2008
EOTWAWKI
Another installment of occasional updates on how we are doing out there
- Since 2006, roughly 3 million homes have been lost to foreclosure.
- Over the next two years, another 3.6 million are expected to lose their homes
- Sony Lays off 16,000
- The Airlines are projected to lose $5 billion this year
- Oprah is mad at herself for weighing 190 pounds
- Bank of America to slash 35,000 jobs (Merry Christmas)
- Man handcuffs wife to bed and loses key (sure he lost it)
As usual one of these is false
answer - Oprah "cry me a river" Winfrey is mad cause she weighs 200 pounds. She needs to come workout with me
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Arby's Curly Fries Update
After my munchies attack the other day while running and the scarfing down of the Curly Fries, I emailed Arby's the same story I posted here. Here is the response I got today from them.
Dear Rob;
Thank you for your comments. Our customer’s input and comments are always welcome and very important to us. We use this information to guide the decisions we make about our brand and our products.
Thank you again.
Sincerely,
Arby’s Customer Relations
What a let down. No coupons for free product. No offers to stay in Arby's commercials or Fear Factor and eat other weird things. I could see a whole new reality series about runners who are forced to eat things they find while out on the roads running. No book deals to write about my life as a Running Curly Fry Eater. No movie deal to play a ridiculously good-looking Vampire who has given up human blood sucking and only eats Arby's Curly Fries in order not to upset his human girlfriend.
Dear Rob;
Thank you for your comments. Our customer’s input and comments are always welcome and very important to us. We use this information to guide the decisions we make about our brand and our products.
Thank you again.
Sincerely,
Arby’s Customer Relations
What a let down. No coupons for free product. No offers to stay in Arby's commercials or Fear Factor and eat other weird things. I could see a whole new reality series about runners who are forced to eat things they find while out on the roads running. No book deals to write about my life as a Running Curly Fry Eater. No movie deal to play a ridiculously good-looking Vampire who has given up human blood sucking and only eats Arby's Curly Fries in order not to upset his human girlfriend.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Today's Workouts
5.2 miles running this morning in 60 degree weather :)
1,250 yards swimming at lunch time
1,250 yards swimming at lunch time
Hey Buddy Can You Spare a Dime?
Or $10 or $20 or $50? Maybe you can maybe you can’t. I realize these are tough times for some people so if you are one of them then don’t worry about the rest of this post. (you guys hang in there the Feds are on the job! – just remember; there is no problem that the government can’t make worse).
For the rest of you with a bit of change to spare…read on. Check out the website for Catholic World Missions. They ship food and medicine to the poorest of the poor. And unlike some relief supplies, these foods and medicines are handled by the Missionaries of the Poor, Sisters. So you know your donations are having a direct impact. How do I know this? Well anyone who has ever gone to Catholic School or CCD or had any encounter with Nuns knows what I’m talking about. These woman don’t take no for an answer. If they set their mind to do something it gets done. Think of Attila the Hun but in a habit and with a heart of gold.
So your donations aren’t ending up in the hands of some third world dictator so he can build a huge palace with 20 bathrooms, a heart-shaped pool, a cocoa-motion machine and hedges sculpted into the shape of The Donk.
I know everyone has various charities and churches they support but if you are looking for a good one to help out, please check out CWM. Maybe a cash donation equal to the equivalent of the amount you would spend on a Christmas gift for a close family member would be a good place to start.
And I promise to not ask you to donate to any cause for at least the rest of the year. Unless of course The Donk decides to get that Ear-Job he has been saving up for.
For the rest of you with a bit of change to spare…read on. Check out the website for Catholic World Missions. They ship food and medicine to the poorest of the poor. And unlike some relief supplies, these foods and medicines are handled by the Missionaries of the Poor, Sisters. So you know your donations are having a direct impact. How do I know this? Well anyone who has ever gone to Catholic School or CCD or had any encounter with Nuns knows what I’m talking about. These woman don’t take no for an answer. If they set their mind to do something it gets done. Think of Attila the Hun but in a habit and with a heart of gold.
So your donations aren’t ending up in the hands of some third world dictator so he can build a huge palace with 20 bathrooms, a heart-shaped pool, a cocoa-motion machine and hedges sculpted into the shape of The Donk.
I know everyone has various charities and churches they support but if you are looking for a good one to help out, please check out CWM. Maybe a cash donation equal to the equivalent of the amount you would spend on a Christmas gift for a close family member would be a good place to start.
And I promise to not ask you to donate to any cause for at least the rest of the year. Unless of course The Donk decides to get that Ear-Job he has been saving up for.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Today's Workouts
18 miles cycling this morning.
7 miles running with the 3 middle miles at a fast pace.
7 miles running with the 3 middle miles at a fast pace.
Today's Workouts
Actually yesterdays workouts.
6 mile run in the trails behind the pool complex, then a 1,000 yard swim.
6 mile run in the trails behind the pool complex, then a 1,000 yard swim.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Be back in a few days
Off to West Virginia to camp with the 3 middle boys, plus some friends and their boys. Camping as in staying in a house in the woods. I don't do tents.
Happy St Nick Day everyone.
Happy St Nick Day everyone.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Today's Workouts
40 miles biking from 4:30-7am this morning.
5.5 mile run at lunch time on the trails behind the pool complex where I swim. Quick change into my jammers and into the pool for 1000 yard swim.
5.5 mile run at lunch time on the trails behind the pool complex where I swim. Quick change into my jammers and into the pool for 1000 yard swim.
Yo Curly Where are Larry and Moe
My workout adventures yesterday.
For breakfast I took Barbara and Dominic to McDonald’s after 8am Mass. It was the feast of St Barbara, even though some commie at the Vatican took her off the calendar – but I digress.
Anyway I had a breakfast biscuit, hash brown and coffee. At 11am I went out and biked 26 miles. I got home around 12:30 and had a few more cups of coffee. I meant to have some Gatorade and a Power Bar but I got sidetracked with work.
At 2pm I went out for 10 mile run. A half of a mile into the run I realized I had forgotten to bring my bottle of Gatorade. I figured it was no big deal because it wasn’t hot out and I wouldn’t get dehydrated. I forgot about the lack of calories I had taken in.
At the 2 mile point of my run I started getting that light-headed low blood sugar feeling and my legs were feeling wobbly. For those of you who workout, this is called Bonking. I decided to switch my run to 6 miles and just try and get home without fainting.
At the 3.5 mile point I was feeling really weird, like at a Grateful Dead concert weird. Now I’m not thinking clearly at all. I decide to try and figure out who I know that lives near where I am at. So maybe I can get some food or a ride home. When low and behold what’s this littered on the ground? An Arby’s bag?
Hmmm I like Arby’s. Open up the bag. An empty milkshake cup, an empty roast beef sandwich wrapper, rats I like roast beef, and at the bottom of the bag…jackpot….an extra large order of Curly Fries that for some reason haven’t been touched.
I stick my glove covered mitts in there and start shoveling those fries in my mouth like I’m going to the electric chair. They are cold but so scrumptious. Too bad there are no ketchup packs to munch on too. It takes me about all of 90 seconds to eat them all. I look in the bag at the receipt from the food; it’s from yesterday afternoon, around 24 hours ago. Oh well it has been pretty cool recently. Kinda like a refrigerator. (It has been 4 hours now since I scarfed down the fries and no food poisoning …yet) The light headedness starts to go away and I decide to finish the last 2.5 miles of my run. Those are the fastest miles of my run, I’m Frying…I mean flying home.
Forget steroids and EPO, Arby’s fries are going to be my new performance enhancing drug.
For breakfast I took Barbara and Dominic to McDonald’s after 8am Mass. It was the feast of St Barbara, even though some commie at the Vatican took her off the calendar – but I digress.
Anyway I had a breakfast biscuit, hash brown and coffee. At 11am I went out and biked 26 miles. I got home around 12:30 and had a few more cups of coffee. I meant to have some Gatorade and a Power Bar but I got sidetracked with work.
At 2pm I went out for 10 mile run. A half of a mile into the run I realized I had forgotten to bring my bottle of Gatorade. I figured it was no big deal because it wasn’t hot out and I wouldn’t get dehydrated. I forgot about the lack of calories I had taken in.
At the 2 mile point of my run I started getting that light-headed low blood sugar feeling and my legs were feeling wobbly. For those of you who workout, this is called Bonking. I decided to switch my run to 6 miles and just try and get home without fainting.
At the 3.5 mile point I was feeling really weird, like at a Grateful Dead concert weird. Now I’m not thinking clearly at all. I decide to try and figure out who I know that lives near where I am at. So maybe I can get some food or a ride home. When low and behold what’s this littered on the ground? An Arby’s bag?
Hmmm I like Arby’s. Open up the bag. An empty milkshake cup, an empty roast beef sandwich wrapper, rats I like roast beef, and at the bottom of the bag…jackpot….an extra large order of Curly Fries that for some reason haven’t been touched.
I stick my glove covered mitts in there and start shoveling those fries in my mouth like I’m going to the electric chair. They are cold but so scrumptious. Too bad there are no ketchup packs to munch on too. It takes me about all of 90 seconds to eat them all. I look in the bag at the receipt from the food; it’s from yesterday afternoon, around 24 hours ago. Oh well it has been pretty cool recently. Kinda like a refrigerator. (It has been 4 hours now since I scarfed down the fries and no food poisoning …yet) The light headedness starts to go away and I decide to finish the last 2.5 miles of my run. Those are the fastest miles of my run, I’m Frying…I mean flying home.
Forget steroids and EPO, Arby’s fries are going to be my new performance enhancing drug.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Today's Workouts
26 miles cycling at lunch time.
6 mile run mid-afternoon. It was supposed to be 10 miles. More on that tomorrow.
6 mile run mid-afternoon. It was supposed to be 10 miles. More on that tomorrow.
Toxic Boobs
Several women have claimed that a popular type of bra from the leading lingerie firm Victoria’s Secret made them ill.
Roberta Ritter, 37, claims: "I had the welts that were very red, hot to the touch, extremely inflamed, blistery. It itched profusely. I couldn't sleep and was waking up itching."
Miss Ritter, from Ohio, filed a lawsuit against Victoria's Secret in May and claims she has been contacted by dozens of women suffering similar symptoms who are now seeking permission to join her in a class-action lawsuit.
Her lawyers said they purchased the same bra types that Miss Ritter had bought and had them laboratory tested. They claim the tests revealed that the bras showed traces of formaldehyde, which is used in the textile industry to make fabrics crease-resistant. The lawyers believe Miss Ritter may be allergic to formaldehyde.
Ok since I don't wear bras (well not on a regular basis) I have a few questions about this story:
1) There are labs that test bras?
2) Formaldehyde? Seriously? Isn't that the stuff those fetal-pigs we used to hack up in high school science class were kept in?
3) There are Victoria Secrets stores in Ohio?
4) Bras need to be crease-resistant?
5) If they aren't made crease-resistant, do women iron them? And if so how do they work around the curves?
Roberta Ritter, 37, claims: "I had the welts that were very red, hot to the touch, extremely inflamed, blistery. It itched profusely. I couldn't sleep and was waking up itching."
Miss Ritter, from Ohio, filed a lawsuit against Victoria's Secret in May and claims she has been contacted by dozens of women suffering similar symptoms who are now seeking permission to join her in a class-action lawsuit.
Her lawyers said they purchased the same bra types that Miss Ritter had bought and had them laboratory tested. They claim the tests revealed that the bras showed traces of formaldehyde, which is used in the textile industry to make fabrics crease-resistant. The lawyers believe Miss Ritter may be allergic to formaldehyde.
Ok since I don't wear bras (well not on a regular basis) I have a few questions about this story:
1) There are labs that test bras?
2) Formaldehyde? Seriously? Isn't that the stuff those fetal-pigs we used to hack up in high school science class were kept in?
3) There are Victoria Secrets stores in Ohio?
4) Bras need to be crease-resistant?
5) If they aren't made crease-resistant, do women iron them? And if so how do they work around the curves?
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Today's Workouts
5 miles running this morning.
13 miles cycling at lunch time. It was supposed to be 25 miles, double flatted with only one spare inner tube. Wife to the rescue.
13 miles cycling at lunch time. It was supposed to be 25 miles, double flatted with only one spare inner tube. Wife to the rescue.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Good Thing They Aren't Brass Monkeys
For some bright reason the younger boys, Dominic (7) Robert (8) and Joey (10), decided they wanted to sleep in a tent in the backyard one night over the Thanksgiving Day weekend.
And for some reason my bride decided an adult needed to sleep out there. We do live in the 'wilds' of the Washington DC suburbs. So I guess she was worried about a rabbit nibbling their toes or a squirrel stealing their nuts. And of course there is the goatman you lives in the wood on the outskirts of our town, but I'm pretty sure he's a vegan. So, you guessed it, she slept out there. Yeah you thought I was going to sleep out there?! Sam didn't even bother to ask. My idea of roughing it is tap instead of bottled water. Rob Don't Camp!
It doesn't get real cold here but it did go down to 30 that night. So the boys must have put on just about every piece of clothing they owned. Joey had on 4 pairs of socks and 5 shirts. Plus he but on 3 pair of underwear, 2 pairs of pants and 2 pair of shorts...he must really be trying to protect something. Dominic out did them all. The next morning he counted his socks as he took them off; 10 on one foot and 11 on the other. Little momma, who is always cold, was all bundled up and snuggled up with the boys on the nice cold and hard ground. Barbara (12) joined them around midnight after wathcing a movie.
They did run a power cord to the tent and setup and radio and a light...why they didn't bring out an electric heater is beyond me. But I give them credit, they stayed out there the entire night.
Me? I slept in our nice king-sized bed. The one with the flannel sheets, electric blanket and down comforter...I was actually sweating.
And for some reason my bride decided an adult needed to sleep out there. We do live in the 'wilds' of the Washington DC suburbs. So I guess she was worried about a rabbit nibbling their toes or a squirrel stealing their nuts. And of course there is the goatman you lives in the wood on the outskirts of our town, but I'm pretty sure he's a vegan. So, you guessed it, she slept out there. Yeah you thought I was going to sleep out there?! Sam didn't even bother to ask. My idea of roughing it is tap instead of bottled water. Rob Don't Camp!
It doesn't get real cold here but it did go down to 30 that night. So the boys must have put on just about every piece of clothing they owned. Joey had on 4 pairs of socks and 5 shirts. Plus he but on 3 pair of underwear, 2 pairs of pants and 2 pair of shorts...he must really be trying to protect something. Dominic out did them all. The next morning he counted his socks as he took them off; 10 on one foot and 11 on the other. Little momma, who is always cold, was all bundled up and snuggled up with the boys on the nice cold and hard ground. Barbara (12) joined them around midnight after wathcing a movie.
They did run a power cord to the tent and setup and radio and a light...why they didn't bring out an electric heater is beyond me. But I give them credit, they stayed out there the entire night.
Me? I slept in our nice king-sized bed. The one with the flannel sheets, electric blanket and down comforter...I was actually sweating.
Monday, December 1, 2008
EOTWAWKI
Thus far in 2008 the Feds have spent or committed the following amounts of your money:
• $29 billion for Bear Stearns
• $143.8 billion for AIG (thus far, it keeps growing)
• $100 billion for Fannie Mae
• $100 billion for Freddie Mac
• $700 billion for Wall Street, including Bank of America (Merrill Lynch), Citigroup, JP Morgan (WaMu), Wells Fargo (Wachovia), Morgan Stanley, Goldman Sachs, and a lot more . On top of $45 billion for Citibank, comes a guarantee of $306 billion in bad loans.$800 billion to buy mortgages issued or backed by Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Ginnie Mae and Federal Home Loan Banks.
• $200 billion for the auto industry
• $200 billion to buy securities tied to student loans, car-loans, credit card debt and small business loans.
• $8 billion for IndyMac
• $700 billion to $1 trillion stimulus package (from January)
• $50 billion for money market funds
• $138 billion for Lehman Bros. (post bankruptcy) through JP Morgan
• $620 billion for general currency swaps from the Fed
“The numbers change so fast, it is hard to even add them up. Rough total: $3,651,800,000,000 .00
****note the total is now even higher...The federal government committed an additional $800 billion to two new loan programs on last Tuesday
So the total is more like $4.5 trillion
• $29 billion for Bear Stearns
• $143.8 billion for AIG (thus far, it keeps growing)
• $100 billion for Fannie Mae
• $100 billion for Freddie Mac
• $700 billion for Wall Street, including Bank of America (Merrill Lynch), Citigroup, JP Morgan (WaMu), Wells Fargo (Wachovia), Morgan Stanley, Goldman Sachs, and a lot more . On top of $45 billion for Citibank, comes a guarantee of $306 billion in bad loans.$800 billion to buy mortgages issued or backed by Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Ginnie Mae and Federal Home Loan Banks.
• $200 billion for the auto industry
• $200 billion to buy securities tied to student loans, car-loans, credit card debt and small business loans.
• $8 billion for IndyMac
• $700 billion to $1 trillion stimulus package (from January)
• $50 billion for money market funds
• $138 billion for Lehman Bros. (post bankruptcy) through JP Morgan
• $620 billion for general currency swaps from the Fed
“The numbers change so fast, it is hard to even add them up. Rough total: $3,651,800,000,000 .00
****note the total is now even higher...The federal government committed an additional $800 billion to two new loan programs on last Tuesday
So the total is more like $4.5 trillion
Happy Birthday Cecilia
Cecilia aka 'Hunter' aka 'Monster Baby' aka 'Tinker Bell' is 3 day. It's been a long 3 years with this. She is the #10 child in the family and I'v pretty much decided that every 10th child is a lemon, so we are stopping at 19 kids for sure....
When Cecilia is happy she is great to be around but when she's not happy...watch out!!!
When Cecilia is happy she is great to be around but when she's not happy...watch out!!!
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