Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Dang there goes my plan to pay for the porch to be rescreened.

From a local news radio station's website:

Georgina Stark, spokesperson for the Archdiocese of Washington, tells WTOP, "You cannot sell a sacrament. This is a mass, so it is a sacrament. The tickets are not for sale."
“Any sale, trade or transfer is unlawful because they are the property of the archdiocese."
"Tickets are traceable," Stark says.

Well that stinks! We managed to score 6 tickets to the big shindig at the Nat’s new stadium on Thursday. I was hoping to sell them. EBay actually has a listing for Mass tickets at Yankee stadium. They were up to $146 a pop last time I checked. If I sell all 6 tics I could pay for the porch and have money left over to buy some more running shoes.

So instead of me getting new running kicks, pretty momma and some of the older little darlings are heading down bright and early Thursday morning. Yours truly, along with a large stack of DVD’s, will be watching the youngest 5 at home.

I’m sure the breastfed baby will be thrilled. Originally the baby was going to go too. But low and behold, everyone INCLUDING BABIES must have a ticket to get in the stadium. That’s a long time to go without being nursed. Especially for a non-Ezzo raised baby who is used to eating when he wants too.

Thanks again Georgina…you are a real sweetheart.
If this headline is in the Washington Post Friday morning: “Woman’s Breasts Explode at Papal Mass”. You know who to thank.

We can take the baby on airplanes without tickets; we can take the baby to Redskins and National games and to the movies without tickets. So why no Papal Mass without tickets? I’m sure baby Eric would appreciate a Papal blessing also. Come on we are supposed to be pro-life here people. Let the babies in!

Oh and on the off chance that this Blog should come to the attention of Georgina, I’m kidding dear (sorta), that’s what I do. (Just a precaution, she seems to be wound a little tightly this week. I think she’ll need a vacation and a few drinks after this is all over.) Y’all are doing a great job planning this huge event and I’m sure my wife and kids will have a great time at the Mass (after getting through the machine-gun nests, dogs, metal detectors and the strip-searches of course).


Anonymous said...

I loved your comment on the exploding breast. I got one ticket and we are a family of four. If it is fine for me to leave my Buddhist wife and the crazy two year old at home, I feel really hurt not being able to take the 4-month old with me. What were they thinking?

Anonymous said...

Dear Sardonic Dad ... this is your favorite sister-in-law wanting to tell Josh: I LOVE YOU and HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!! (will you tell him for me, please!) DFinallo you mind if I send your blog about his birth to our local newspaper? There is a section called "Mail Call" -- and this town could use a few laughs in the morning news!

Catherine said...

Tickets for the Mass! Merchandising! Did Jean Paul II sell tisckets to attend the Mass? I can't remind.
Besides, you want to sell them back for personal profits! So that's the reason why you call yourself "sardonic .. dad" ;)
Anyway, your wife and some of your children are very lucky.
Do you draw lots? or make a contest to find the names of the 6 winners :) Will you publish pictures?