Saturday, March 14, 2009

The Tree-Huggers Want Me To Have A Sore Butt

I'm holding them personally responsible for any rashes, cuts, abrasions, constipation or Klingon's

Soft toilet paper targeted
Environmental groups push recycled fibers
Leslie Kaufman / New York Times
Americans like their toilet tissue soft: exotic confections that are silken, thick and hot-air-fluffed.

The national obsession with soft paper has driven the growth of brands like Cottonelle Ultra, Quilted Northern Ultra and Charmin Ultra -- which in 2008 alone increased its sales by 40 percent in some markets, according to Information Resources Inc., a marketing research firm.

But fluffiness comes at a price: millions of trees harvested in North America and in Latin American countries, including some percentage of trees from rare old-growth forests in Canada. Although toilet tissue can be made at similar cost from recycled material, it is the fiber taken from standing trees that help give it that plush feel, and most large manufacturers rely on them.

What a horrifying story! Trees used for Toilet Paper! What will they think of next? Using trees for building homes or writing paper or fireplaces? That's much more disturbing than other news stories this week; like the pastor who was shot on the pulpit in IL or the 7th grader murdered in OH while jogging, or the dozen gunned down in Alabama and Germany or all the layoffs across the country.

Thanks for setting me straight folks. I'd much rather use toilet paper made from recycled chicken mcnugget containers, empty tampon boxes and the Washington Post then something soft and fluffy from real trees. On second thought that might be the only good use for The Post.

Listen I don't mine reusing things and recycling things, BUTT there are just some things that shouldn't be skimped on: parts for airplanes, surgical instruments, running shoes and toilet paper

If you are going to switch to rougher toilet paper, why not go all the way and be a real man


Anonymous said...

Ok, now that is hilarious- the picture is everything!

Mary said...