A Quick Recap of Idol's Results Show

Typed the following last night while watching the show. Pardon the spelling and grammar issues.

So we start off with a group song/medley thingy. It may be the worst group sing-along this season. Brooke looks nice but I think she is wearing colored-contacts to compete with Jason for the title of ‘Idol With the Prettiest Eyes’. David Cooke has the strongest voice and overshadows the others.

Oh goodie a chat with some people in the audience who have some lame sounding reality show…what a shock…a commercial for another FOX show within the show. And then a promo for an Idol Stamp, ugh. That’s a horrible picture of Carrie Underwood.
Now a recap of the last night’s horror-fest. And then The Seacrest offers some babbling defense of Paula’s crazy antics last night and then Simon tries to French Kiss her.

Natty Dread is brought out first. He seems worried. The Seacrest strings him along and then sends him to the Sofa of Safety. Well that pretty much tells us that the two chicks are going to be in the bottom two, barring some shocker. Next out is David ‘Baby Elmo’ Archuleta. Like he’s going home already…please…The Seacrest sends him to safety too. Baby Elmo tries to act shocked/relieved. Maybe he hopes to act someday and get a part on the ‘New Saved by The Bell’. Now we get a seemingly endless promo for another FOX show. Some dancing show thing. David C is brought out and is sent to safety. No surprise there. So that leaves the ladies in the bottom two. Just as predicted here on this blog. Oh yeah baby! Who’s your daddy?
They chat with The Seacrest a bit about their performances from the night before. And then he puts them on ice for awhile.

Now Natasha Bedingfield is singing some song about having a pocket of sunshine or a locket of fun lime…I’m not really sure. Ok The Seacrest confirms it a Pocket full of Sunshine. I don’t like ‘flavor of the week’ pop music at all but she does a good job. Natasha goes over to couch and starts slobbering allover Baby Elmo…Paula’s not going to like this…Baby-E is her man um I mean boy. Come on Natasha you can do better than him.

Now the lame caller’s questions segment. We get to listen to Paula attempt to answer a question…what stimulating TV. Oh no, another question for Paula. Someone wants her to do another video… Some childhood sweetheart of Simon calls up to find out who kisses better, herself or Paula. Awwww Simons first kiss…this show gets sappier and more disturbing by the minute. I don’t want to hear about a 9 year-olds first kiss.
Now the obligatory hawking of Fords by the Idolettes. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s the show and what’s promo/advertising.

Now Neil Diamond is signing a song from his new album. Sounds like he rewrote Amazing Graze. It’s not horrible but he has some scary middle-age backup singers and dancers. For 67 Neil can still sing. Now we get to meet his mom and chat about whether he should retire or not. And then Neil tells us he thinks the kids did great last night…very insightful. You can’t make this stuff up people.

And now the moment we have all been waiting for…no Paula isn’t being taken away…be nice people. It’s time to say goodbye to one of the ladies. Drum roll please. It’s Brooke. My daughters are ticked. They voted for Brooke like 20 times last night. Brooke is crying more than Tom Hanks did when he lost Wilson the Volleyball in Castaway. She will attempt to sing one last time. Not sure how she will be able to. She messes up the words but that’s understandable. At least she gets to go home now instead of hanging out with the other Idolaters. Well I had the bottom two right but I thought Brooke would hang around 1 more week. Jason is definitely the prettiest one left now.

Donk I love you. This one is for you. Rock on!