Thursday, June 5, 2008

I Promise I've Never Even Been to Colorado

Bandits Rob Gas Station Disguised in Thong Underwear

ARVADA – Police were searching Thursday for two men believed to have robbed a gas station wearing brightly-colored women's thong underwear over their faces.




How could you people even think that was me?! I mean so I'll wear a wedding dress every now and again and so I have a running shoe fetish and so what if one of my bicycles are pink and so the price of gas as soared up. But I'd never ever wear women's underwear - well at least not on my head. I can't believe you people would think I would be that trashy. Besides those are not my colors at all. They clash with my eyes.

I bet their wives turned them in when they saw their underwear on the evening news. I can see it now. You sit down in your trailer to watch the evening news and eat a TV dinner after a long day of asking people if they want fries with their order. And up on the screen pops your old man wearing some of your undergarments. What a proud moment.

On second thought these two losers probably live in their parent’s basements and stole the thongs off a neighbor’s close line. They probably just needed the money to buy Grand Theft Auto IV and are now safely back in their basements.

The real shocking thing about the story is that they are in Colorado not West Virginia. Just kidding West Virginians. We kid cause we love.

Oh and dude, next time cover up that tattoo. It kind of makes it easy for the fuzz to identify you.

And no I'm not jealous that they get to run around with underwear on their heads - we called that Tuesday night at the college I went to.

The only other clue the police have released at this time is that one of the bandits was wearing a Freddy Mercury t-shirt.

2 comments:

the thong, i mean the DONK said...

i knew all i had to do was make it to the bottom of the post and there would be a QUEEN reference... if we do come to dinner friday you are getting HOOFED!!!!

caleb will too... syracuse posters... the NOIVE (thats nerve with a funny accent thrown in)

oh, and the first thing i thought was, what an idiot for showing the tattoo!!!!!!!!! and then i thought... rob would look good in those panties... ;)

Catherine said...

You can still be one of my Best Blogger Friend, of course, even if I still hope that McEnroe will win our French tournament (?!?! well in the Old Men Category. He is far older than us!). How did you say he is called? Nadal? A
First, I thought how did he find this picture? Do you form part of the¨Police Dpt, and when you say you run for lunch time you mean run after robbers? Or when you stop blogging, do you search "thuong underwears" on google images? Which is worse.
Anyway, your post is really funny and when I read your blog, my children are in their beds, so they can't see you, appearing in wedding dress, Cinderella!
Thanks, Thanks, Thanks. Hope you get endless ressources of humor.