Friday, June 20, 2008

Maybe the Luddites are Right

I’ve had it with technological advances.

Do bad things come in threes for y’all also?

First our AC and Furnace bit the dust and had to be replaced (they were un-fixable), then the computer in our 15-passenger van died. Which of course meant that van died since evidently nothing can run without a computer these days, and then our dryer was making death noises. It sounded like Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now or The Godfather. So we replaced that today. These repair bills are putting a serious dent in my running shoe budget. It's been a heck of a two weeks.

I'm going to have to keep running in my old shoes.

So we as a family are taking drastic measures – not that they know it yet.

I’m quitting my software job and moving out to the country and becoming an organic hemp farmer. I'll be selling the cars and vans and buying a horse or maybe some llamas. We will be going off the grid. No electricity, phone or running water. Sure the boys might start smelling worse than a donkey after awhile and the girls will have hairy legs and armpits and zits all over their faces and I’ll never be able to marry them off…but think of all the things we won’t have to worry about breaking.

I got a great price on this baby. A little paint a few throw-pills…

Plus we will get lots of reading, talking and game playing in. We will become a much closer family and our kids SAT scores will go through the roof.

Of course we will have to have an old hound dog for hunting and protection.

But not everything will change with our new lifestyle.

The kids will still get to swim every day.

And they will still have time outs when naughty.

And Sam and I will still be taking that cruise for our anniversary

I'll be starting a betting pool on how long it takes the teenagers to Go Postal without text messaging.

This post was written on my laptop using a wireless Internet connection while listening to my IPOD. If you will excuse me I need to go answer my cell phone, make an espresso and see what is on cable tonight – the high def channels on our wide screen TV are awesome.


your bride said...

I would so last longer than you my air conditioned lover friend!!!cruise...did you say cruise? THE WIFE

the donk said...

the kids would smell worse than a donkey, or the DONK???

Catherine said...

I was just lurking overthere to give the opportunity of my blue-white-red flag to flap in your area. (As these @@!!§§ Italian took our place on Euro 2008 and our wonderful flag of liberty equality and fraternity will no longer appear in that contest).
And your blog is a medecine against gloominess!
So you would have thrown away Brando at the end of his career!? because he made " death noises"? Thanks God the translation in French avoid me to hear that!
Concerning the shoes, my daughter succeed in having hers looking like that, I'm wondering if she doesn't help a little the process.
Where do you find those perfect pictures to illustrate your subject? How many hours between your screen. I must admit that the result is perfect.

KayleighJeanne said...

Not to make you feel bad or anything, but that house looks way nicer than 50% of the stuff the real estate agent showed us. For real.

Rob said...

Catherine i hope you don't mind but my 15 year old son was really cheering on the Italy in that game. sorry but my side of the family has Italian blood in it.

I have a gift for finding pictures.