Friday, June 27, 2008

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A woman who says she was hurt by her thong panties when a metal clip flew off and hit her in the eye has sued Victoria's Secret, saying in a TV interview on Thursday that the injury caused her "excruciating pain."

Macrida Patterson, a 52-year-old Los Angeles traffic officer, told NBC's "Today" show that she suffered cuts to her cornea from the small piece of metal that had been used to secure a rhinestone heart onto the blue thong.

When Patterson was changing after work, the metal piece snapped, creating a "slingshot effect," and either the pendant or the metal piece "cut her eye," Buccat said.

Who knew thongs were so dangerous. I guess they aren't just for robbing convenience stores any more.

And here I thought only Red Ryder BB Gun's could put out an eye. What's next? People suing when they get a hang-nail from undoing a bra? Running to court when you get a thigh bruised from a Donk kicking you?

Far be it from me to tell a 52-year-old she shouldn't wear a thong...but a rhinestone heart on a blue thong? Honey, what were you thinking? Who buys underwear with rhinestones on them anyway? Well other than someone who works with a brass pole for a living.

Do you hand-wash those things? Or maybe use the delicate cycle on the washing machine? You probably don't want to take it to the cleaners and have the old lady working the register giving you a 'church-lady' look like you are some kinda hussy.

Let's assume for a minute that Victoria Secret is at fault. Just what should the damages be? She suffered pain to her eye and a cut to her cornea that healed. No permanent damage...other than looking silly on The Today Show.

If looking silly was reason enough to be handed a pile of money, I'd own dozens of bikes and piles of running example.

Maybe as part of a settlement Victoria Secret could host 'underwear putting on classes'. I'm sure there would be no shortage of guys volunteering to teach that class. Or they could partner with McDonalds to provide the prize for kids meals. Talk about a Happy Meal!

Things sometimes just happen people. Get over it and move on with life. Quit looking for a hand-out by suing over every little thing that happens to you. Or at the least, if you do find a big enough hand-out, share it with me...all these kids are expensive.


the donk said...

i had the same problem with my rhinestone thong...

RobK said...

We could make her a poster child for this. It might discourage people from wearing such things. It would be like showing the old folks with cancer who smoked. I think this could make an effective anti-thong marketing campaign.

Rob said...

Robk – I like that poster child for an anti-thong campaign angle. But it should probably be in a figurative sense. If we literally made a poster of her trying to put on her thong we might cause widespread blindness.

Rob said...

Donk - everyone knows donkies go comando