Wednesday, July 2, 2008

$840,000 for a House and a Wife

Apparently a Florida woman is tired of her house and being single. So all you single guys who want to live in Florida might want to check it out.

After a year of trying to sell her four-bedroom home and eight years of singledom, Deven Trabosh is offering her South Florida home and a shot at marrying her on the Internet.

"I figured let's combine the ad because I'm looking for love and I'm looking to sell the house," said Trabosh, a Barbie-esque blonde who teeters around the nearly 2,000 square-foot house in patent leather heels.

This gave me a great idea on how to make money. I've decided to sell my house and family on EBay.

For Sale:

1 - 45 year-old house. Broken-in and an old pair of loafers

1 - 40 year-old wife. See description above for house. Actually more like flashy and classy running shoes than loafers. Seriuosly people, I could never sell my Soul Mate...the kids on the other hand...

1 - 18 year-old daughter. Can drive and do errands. Also proficient at babysitting. Does not clean well.

1 - 17 year-old son studying for the priesthood. Will pray for you and will eventually be able to say Mass and perform baptisms, weddings and funerals.

1 - 15 year-old son. Would be a good mid-fielder if you are starting a soccer team.

1 - 13 year-old daughter. Very responsible. Great babysitter and cleans well too.

1 - 12 year-old daughter. Feisty but loves to play with little kids.

1 - 10 year-old son. Sweet disposition. Loves to play baseball. Cuts lawns.

1 - 8 year-old son. Confident. Swims in a Speedo.

1 - 6 year-old son. Goofy. Will keep you entertained for hours on end.

1 - 4 year-old daughter. A little cutie-pie. Will talk your ears off.

1 - 2 year-old daughter. Look-up firecracker in the dictionary and you will see her picture.

1 - 10 month-old son. Possibly the happiest baby on earth.

No reasonable offer refused. Will consider a trade for a Harley Davidson or 66' GTO.

All sales are final. Absolutely no returns for defective goods after 30 days.

Buy now. Pay later. 12 months and 0% financing available with approved credit.

Caveat Emptor


your bride said...

Broken-in and an old pair of loafers!!! Boy, you are in the dog house...and to think you have been posting so sweetly about me...I am telling the Donk!!!

And no couch for will like that to much!!! One hour with the kids for your punishment.+

the donk said...

yeah, there are 2 things wrong with this post!!!

1) you said what you said about my love samuel!!! how dare you!!!

now i know bryan is in your head... oooohhhh, the shame of it all....

KayleighJeanne said...

Your wife is going easy on you.

Catherine said...

Is that YOU ?
I can't believe it? You try again to sale #11! What a shame!
Hope your bad conscience will prevent you from sleeping, Thenardier! ; )

Rob said...

well I am "Master of the House"

Rachel said...

I love Sam's punishment for you. Makes me wonder what the heck I did wrong because I am in a constant state of that kind of punishment. Ack!

Alex said...

Um I do clean well.
I just choose not to.