Friday, July 25, 2008

Stuff Catholics Like


Large Families

(In solidarity with my sister from another mother.)

Ok in general Catholics are know to have larger families than on average. Do statistics support this? I have know idea. Let's not let facts get in the way of my fun people. Besides to be above average in the US you only have to have 2.2 kids. The current 2008 birthrate for the US is 2.1. So all you people with 2 and half kids...give yourself a gold star. Congratulations, you are above average.

Not that it's a contest though. Too bad, I never win anything. Radio contests, Irish sweepstakes, basket of cheer, Russian mail-order bride, lotto etc...zilch, zip, nada, nothing. Well other than Sam's heart which is the coolest prize ever.

"Are All Those Kids Yours?"

"Don't you know what cause that?"

"How do you do it?"

etc...

We get the above questions or some variation of them all the time.

A few of the responses I've come up with:

Yes, they are all ours

Yes, we have a TV; we just don't need it to entertain ourselves

Well, they are all hers at least

No, they keep following me and I can't ditch them

Yes, except for Sam she's the Mother

Yes, I know what causes it and I like it

No, this is not a daycare

No, we aren't Mormon we are Catholic

We had planned on two; but my wife can't count

Yes, we are just trying to be open to life

You should enjoy our large family; they will be paying your social security

We didn't plan the first few; why start now

We have too many? Maybe I should off a few

Kids? What kids?

How do we do it? Well Sometimes I'm...oh never mind

4 comments:

Regular gal said...

pretty good. How about
what do you mean are we done? these are just the warm-up!
well, we don't want to be a large family.. we're trying to make a Dynasty here!

wife said...

YOU forgot a ton...your old favorite is, "I will stop when I have an ugly one!!!"

My favorite is "we are just getting warmed up!!!"-thanks regular gal!!!

the Mom said...

The last time someone asked me "Don't you know what causes that?" I immediately dropped everything in my hands grabbed the front of his shirt and said, "No! Please won't you tell me? People keep asking me all the time and no one will tell me the answer to that question..." All said with an air of desperation and fake tears in my eyes.

That poor guy will never recover. We are still laughing every time we think of it.

Rachel said...

I loved this post and laughed so hard at the responses in the post and of those of you in the comments. You are all members of a club I wish I could join, but as God is my witness, against my will, He has stopped me at 3. I have been begging for a 4th for 5 years...nothing. And oh, I sure know work on making them. I think there must be a complete equipment failure with both me and My Hunny.