Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Balance and Moderation my Fanny

My wonderful honey thinks we are balanced parents


To quote my bride:

"11 kids...and an exercise crazed man???"

Who is this person she is referring to? You get up at 4am daily to work out and you are labeled for life.

I only have a few minutes to respond to her post between workouts. Hopefully I won't get sweat or Gatorade all over the keyboard.

Here are our True Parenting Styles.

Sam's - Firm but loving and always has time for the kids - to talk, to play a game, go for a walk, read a book to them etc...

Mine - Easy going until they get on my nerves one too many times and I erupt like Mount Vesuvius. I always have time to put a movie on or...um...put on a movie.

Sam treats this as a 24 hour job/vocation without even trying to. It just comes naturally to her. She is the youngest of 9 kids and she has always wanted to be a wife and mother of a larger family as far as I can tell. I met her when she was 16 (I was 20 - what were her parents thinking? I know what they were thinking, "one more to get out of the house and we are free") and knew not too long after what she wanted. I'm surprised I didn't run in the opposite direction (being a young, stupid and self-centered male - that's all redundant). It must have been her stunning looks and fantastic out-going personality. Whatever it was about her that was so appealing to me, it was enough to keep me around until I got my act straightened out (ok, semi-straightened out).

I never really thought about having kids let alone a lot of them until I met her. I'm the oldest of 3 who thinks he's an only child. Isn't that right my brother and sister? Whatever your names are.

I’ve had to work at this parenting thing (the marriage gig too). My natural inclination (being an introvert) is to want to be left alone. I I’m perfectly happy to sit alone for hours in the evening reading a book and ignoring everyone or going out and running or cycling for hours by myself. Whereas Sam would have company over every day of the week and twice on Sunday if I would agree to it.

So when we were dating and I realized what she wanted out of life, I was like "sure no problem. Whatever you want babe. How hard can this 'kid' thing be"?

Pretty darn hard as it turns out. It's funny how something can be incredibly difficult and satisfying at the same time (kinda like doing marathons). But that is just what this parenthood adventure has been. From the million little issues and drama’s of the young kids, to the few but trying and scary troubles of the teen years (just you parents of little kids wait - you think a 2 year-old is a handful? Wait until they are teens ). You will be longing for the days when getting them to keep their shoes on or eat their veggies or not go poo in the kitchen were the issues of the day. But don’t worry too much…when the time comes you will be given the grace that is needed to deal with your daughter wanting to dye her hair purple, become an exotic dancer and date Spike a member of Hell’s Angels or worse your son wanting to do the same.

So to my under-appreciated wife, thank you so much for being the driving force of this wonderful adventure. It’s been heckuva ride so far.

We balance and complete each other. I love you more today than ever before.


your loving bride said...

Could I be blessed any more? Don't forget to tell everyone about your proposal to me!!!+JMJ+Thy will be done!!!

the donk said...

ugh... how many times are you going to make me look bad out here???

Catherine said...

In a couple, I think that both members are completing. The balance comes after, each is more talented for one thing than the other.
But beware! balance could be, one is doing all chores, and the other has just hobbies left.
Beware, do not incline 'the balance' always too much in the wrong side!
I'm sure it's not your case : )

Mylhibug said...

Aside from the exercising part, and five more kids, you sound like myself, or maybe I sound like you. I think it's awesome to see someone that truly loves and respects his wife.

Rob said...

Hun - i'll post the proposal story in the future

donk - you don't need me to make you look bad

French Sister - My sife does a lot more around here than I do.

mylhibug - (not exercising and 5 less kids?) Get busy ;)

momto5minnies said...

I think I would say the same about my marriage and my husband would probably compliment me in a lovely fashion like you just did about your wife.

My husband and I didn't think we would have 5 children. He probably wanted 2 and I said 3 ... "pretty please". 2+3=5

I am sure that there are things your wife just does better, but you surely help out in ways that are so very needed. I don't think God would have blessed you and your wife with all those children if the marriage wasn't filled with a tremendous amount of love and partnership.

I don't even know you, but something tells me that your humor adds a lot to your marriage.